new here and not the typical gay male, but then again, what is typical, anyway:)

[HuskyPup]

Hey all, I’m new here so thought I’d post. I’ve often used sex as a motivation not to drink, in that if I drink and pass out, chances are I will not have sex, and that if I somehow manage, it’s not gonna be as fun. I’m male, and have been with my mate for 18 years now, monogamous except for a few times when we got enticed by some skinny boys from the art college that looked like younger, taller versions of JFK. But we’re pretty much happy together, I guess we get ideas sometimes to maybe have a third person, but that always seems to emotionally messy, so have set the notion aside.

I guess you could say I’m not the typical gay person, I never went to gay bars, and don’t now, I may have been in a gay bar maybe a handful of times in my life. I don’t much identify or care for the stereotypes; I hate the way gays get portrayed on TV. You might say I feel kind of isolated from the ‘gay community’, in a sense.; I don’t like Madonna, Judy Garland or macho looking men, I abhor body building and gyms. I’m more in the mold of an 80s punk-rocker-skater-intellectual bad-ass, or this is the period where I came of age, and seems to still be at the core of who I am, though so much has also changed and evolved.

What else? I am also a furry, not in the sense of liking body hair, but those goofy folks who dress up like animals. This has proven to be one of the most open-minded, fun loving communities of people I have ever met; it allows the imagination to run wild, for one to escape ones self for a bit, a freedom that does not have to involve drinking. Many ask me, is this a sexual thing? Like on that awful CSI episode? For some, yes, for many, no, I’d say it’s pretty evenly split in the furry fandom. Needless to say my alter ego, which we call a ‘fursona’ is a sled dog, actually an Alaskan Malamute. Well, if this freaks anyone out, I guess that’s what it does! But I have a lot of fun with it, and it makes me happy to play like a puppy dog, so I figure, what’s the harm in that.

Anyway, just a bit of an introduction, feel free to ask me anything, I love questions, and am one of those people who is pretty unembarrassed about talking about most anything :P

HP

[mattcake79]

Welcome to the GLBT subforum, Husky I can relate to what you're saying about stereotypes - not my style either.

I'd never heard of the furry thing, to be honest. LOL, sounds quirky.

Anyway, glad you're here - you seem funny. Hope to see more of you

[Bamboozle]

Hello, Husky. Welcome.

[indigo]

Welcome Husky I've met "bears" if that is the same as "furry" & I feel free to be anything I like which is simply put a lesbian neither butch or femme, in a 25 year relationship where we did have a German 'extra lover' living with us for some time & decided it wasn't for us. I make no judgements on anyone's proclivities & I wish you my sincerest welcome.

[Faerie]

Hi Husky,

Would love to give you a big furry cuddle, you sound lovely, I know of a few people into the fur scene here in Adelaide, they're great people.

Much love,

Faerie x

[freya]

Welcone to SR!

Actually my son who lives in NYC was talking about the furries last time he was home -- so at least I know what it is. (it's amazing the things one can learn from a 21 year old gay boy who lives in The City!!!) Although it appears he only knows about people who are into the sexual aspect of it.

"The typical gay person"?????? Now there's an interesting concept.....possibly the subject of an interesting thread....but probably not for this site!!!!!

freya

[louis]

Hey.....

Welcome to SR.... nice to see someone else new posting.....
Furries?m I watched the csi episode you mentioned.... and as in most things... each to their own.... as long as no one is hurt..... (obviously unless they are willing).....

Again just wanted to welcome you

be well
louis

[HuskyPup]

Hey all, glad nobody is too freaked out by my post or anything. Made it through last night OK, am now on day two here, but tempatation is creeping in.

HP

[mattcake79]

Husky, are you attending AA meetings? Or using other alternatives to mantain your sobriety and begin recovery? Most people need some sort of support network to do this - SR is a great resource. For starters, I would encourage you to check out the daily support threads, if you haven't already. Here are a few:

Members with less than 2 weeks (Members with less than 2 weeks -Part 9)

August Sobriety Group (August sobriety group)

These threads provide lots of support. Yes, the GLBT forum is SR's campiest but you might find additional support in the dailies.

Keep us posted

ETA: I just realised that you're using Secular Connections. Keep reaching out!

[HuskyPup]

I was using SMART for some time, but left the boards there recently, so much fighting all the time. I'll have to say I'm not big on the steps, or AA....so I guess I'm not using anything much right now, some bits and pieces of cognitive psychology, some bits and pieces of my own spiritual beliefs....but have yet to find a group that feels comfortable. I did a few live SMART meetings, and liked those 100 times better than the online ones, but they always meet when I'm at work. I work 2 to 11PM, get home past midnight, not a lot of meetings going on then. On weekends, I've been trying to find a second job to help pat off old bills, and unpacking from just having moved......seems like time has been so damn tight these days. Then I sleep from about 3 AM to noon, get up, go to work, and so on......has been hard to find meetings that fit into this. I thought of maybe Agnostic AA, but am still leary of the steps as I have seen them. Don't mean to step on any toes, but have had such weirs AA experiences in the past, I'm scared of it, mostly. I would love to go to a meeting without any steps, or big book, but not sure there is such a thing here.

But would be nice to have 'real' people to help out, I agree.

HP

[HuskyPup]

Well, not the best weekend, but not the worst. I am starting to question giving up drinking, and if now is the 'right' time, as if there is ever a right time. Or if I care anymore. Life has been so crazy these past months, it is hard to think, drinking or not. I keep thinking, I would like a group, but then that book, and the word God, God, God all over and I can't read more than a line or two without getting upset at the guilt-based angle of the whole thin. They say take what you want, but it's all so tied together, I find I have to leave the whole thing, the whole book. So those meetings scare me, yet I wish I had some social support. Then this dumb schedule, getting out so late, no groups even meeting then, at the most vulnerable hours........

Thinking: maybe it will be best to die young, not try for too much, not be too greedy, not take too much from the world, just lead a crazy bohemian life and plan an OD when the time feels right.

or such have been the thoughts of me and my bf: go out together, plan it, like they did in Japan, one day, we will see our way out to whatever it is that is out there, beyond this life that has mainly been one of being poor, of not having, of hurting......


HP

[evmdimples]

Hi HP, here's a thread I started sometime back, it's about secular 12-steps, similar to something I've adopted for myself and has worked for me.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...p-journal.html (12 step journal)

Hmm, visiting the dark neighborhood. It's not a good place to be. Been there. Planned it all out. Looking back, glad I didn't follow through. Turns out life is worth living after all, no matter what she hands you.

Re: meetings, you could try CoDA meetings. Hardly any emphasis on the G-O-D word, at least not the ones I've attended. Many in my CoDA meetings are also AA or Al-Anon. It helps to deal with the core issues, the emotional stuff that leads people to drink/drug, etc. Maybe something for you to explore.