is this really happening?

[Romey4]

Hi. My name is Romey, and I'm new to this site. My partner, who is an alcoholic, and I broke up 2 months ago after a 13 year relationship. I am trying to understand his alcoholism, to see it as a disease, and to learn how to deal with the anger I feel.

Its taken me a while to see that his alcoholism has affected me in a very bad way, and I'm tired of being sad and feeling guilty about it. He is now in AA, and I truly don't understand everything he is dealing with, but really want to in hopes that I will be able to help him.

After reading many of your posts, its sad to see how many of us have gone through, or are going through, the exact same thing.

I never thought I'd be back on the "singles" list due to the fact that my partner couldn't see past the drink. It sucks to lose your partner to alcohol! I think it would be easier to deal with had he just up and left, or found another guy and dumped me for him...but I guess in a way he did!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[freya]

I agree that is is harder than if a partner dies or just leaves.....because it's almost like he/she is possessed by a "demon", like her/his body is there but, instead of the person you loved, that body is inhabited by some evil, destructive, life-blighting presence.....

But, hey, you know the singles scene is not all bad....I threw my partner out several years ago when she had a dry drunk relapse (she got back into recovery and we got back together), but I did date several other people during the >a year we were separated, and, although none of them turned out to be LTR material (at least for me), I most certainly was moving along with my life and it was an interesting experience, good in many ways.

And also, if you feel like living with an alcoholic has really affected you negatively -- which it most likely has, now is a good time to work on yourself, too. You should check out some Al Anon meetings -- they'd be great for helping you better understand and deal with the effects of alcoholism, both on alcoholics and on the people who love them. There is also a very good Family and Friends Forum on this site that might help you get started.

Welcome to SR!

freya

[indigo]

Welcome to SR I understand what you are going through only for me I was the addict, my partnership has lasted over 24 years and I thank my HP for my beloved. May all you want become.....