Just for fun......

[freya]

OK just got a call from my boys that they are still about an hour from Syracuse and the roads are bad. So, I'm lookin' to entertain myself 'till probably about midnight and thought maybe we could start a fun and silly thread about issues of sex and gender...We don't always have to be serious, right???? Anyways, this is a copy of something I posted on another site once in response to the question of what makes me "the femme" and my partner "the butch."

She drives like the car is a totally natural and familiar extension of her body.....I drive like like I'm operating a dangerous machine and could make a terrible mistake at any minute...

....Her "spice" shelf consists of salt, pepper, and Montreal Steak Seasoning...my spice cabinet is 5'x10"x12" with 4 shelves so full that things are sometimes piled on top of each other...

...She can keep up just fine in any sports discussion with my 3 brothers.....unless the team under discussion is her very favorite or the very favorite of one of my sons, I almost always have to enter the conversation with "Are they a football team or a baseball team?" (....and "they'll" probably be some 3rd kind of team, I almost never guess right!)....

....She can identify with the male lead in straight romantic movies....I can't identify with either lead......

....She assumes I can read her mind......sometimes I actually act like I should be able to, too.....

.....If I ask her to bring me my mascara out of the bathroom, I have to describe "which one" (make-up item) that is.....she has pretty much given up trying to describe for me what tool she might like for me to bring her out of the basement (unless it's like a hammer or screwdriver or something totally common like that)....

....When I have an emotional problem, I talk to everyone who will listen....she talks to me, and usually only when it gets to the point where it's killing her....

....She says to me, when we are totally dressed up (read: her in a suit and tie and me in a little black dress and 4 inch heels) and coming home from a dinner date at a very nice restaurant: "Do you mind if we stop at Home Depot?".....I say to her when she'd rather watch a Broncos game than help me decorate for whatever holiday is happening this month: "But you just watched them last week!"

.....If she were to go to the video store without me, she might come back with "White Chicks"....if I were to go to the video store without her, I might come back with "Howard's End".....in either case, one of us would be watching a video alone!!!!

....I am totally aware of when I am flirting with someone or when someone is flirting with me....she in similar situations: Clueless.

....If she does laundry, she dries all the clothing on "High" for as long as it takes to get the thickest item dry.......I try to be the one to do the laundry!


freya

[Rainbowgirl128]

mmmmm i love lesbians. i will have more comments on this thread later when i am done with my paper.

[freya]

So, here's a little gay-son vs. straight-son clothes shopping story.

When they were both home at the same time last (in July), they both wanted to shop for clothes. We decided to go to the mall. We go into one of those junior clothing boutique stores like American Eagle, Gap, Banana Republic, etc.... Straight son walks in the front door, through the store toward the dressing room, stopping only very briefly to grab anything that he thinks might be what he wants. He's in the dressing room and trying stuff on in 3 minutes, max. Meanwhile, gay son is carefully perusing every rack, carefully scrutinizing several items before he even has one that he might want to try on. By the time gay-son is about half way through the store, straight son has already tried on several items, coming out, briefly glancing at each one in the mirror, and announcing decisively of any item even half-way fits and looks even half-way OK on him: "Yeah, I look good!"

By the 15 minute mark, when straight-son has selected the items he's going to purchase and is heading for the check-out, gay son is, maybe, ready to go to the fitting room.

Mom and straight son stand and watch as he tries things on, comes out of the fitting room, stands in front on the mirror turning every which way at least 3 times and carefully critiques the item he's considering: "Is there something wrong with the dye here?," "Isn't this stitching unusual?", "Is this too much that other black shirt I have?", "Is this color right on me?', "Does this make me look fat?" Straight son counters every question with something like: "Dude, it's a friggin' T-shirt!", "Man, it's a pair of jeans, who's gonna care?", "They're too tight, dude, you don't want people lookin' at your skinny *ss!" (little does he know!!!), and/or "You're gonna pay $50 for that?????".

Finally, at like the 45 minute mark, we are ready to go -- straight son to go home and gay son to go to the next store.

Eventually, we exit the mall through JC Penney's where mom notices that all of the swimsuits are 50% off and offers to buy them each one. So they start looking at swimsuits and teasing each other about their respective tastes. Finally, about 10 minutes after straight son has made his selection, gay son holds one up and says with great appreciation: "This is different!" Straight son stares at it in disbelief, so incredulous that he says, without thinking about what he's saying: "Dude, you wear that and you're gonna look a little q*eer!" Gay son pulls himself up as tall as he can, begins waving the suit around with one hand while he plants his other hand firmly on his hip, and pronounces loudly in his most sarcastic, mock-offended, queeny voice: "I beg your pardon! I look 100% q*eer 100% of the time!"

We all burst out laughing and straight son conceeds the point with: "Touche, man!"

freya

[freya]

So I was out with a (lesbian) recovery friend the other day and we were talking about our families and Thanksgiving and I was commenting on how, even as open and sex-positive as I am and as I have raised my kids to be, I still have some trouble relating to L's (my gay son) super casual, laid-back (no pun intended) attitude toward sex.

And my friend says: "Yeah, I know what you mean. It seems like, when there's a man and a woman involved, the man is always "asking" the woman to have sex and waiting around for her to say "yes." When it's 2 women involved, it's like neither of them "asks" the question, and they both wait around for the other to say "yes" to a question that's not even out there. But when it's 2 men, it's like who even needs to ask the question because they're both just like: "yes" "yes" "yes" "yes" "yes" "yes".......

freya

[freya]

Well, I can't believe that no one else has any funny stories to tell here....but, that's OK 'cuz I have lots. I was just out at lunch and ran into a local school administrator who figures prominently in this one:

When my gay son (L) was a sophmmore in HS, he had to take this "health" class that included a seriously lame-*ss unit on sexuality. Anyway, the unit began with him having to explain to the teacher the difference between sex and gender when she started out by using the terms "male" and "man" and "female" and "woman" interchangeably, and it only went downhill from there.

Every couple of days he would come home with a story about some new silliness, and we would talk about what he might do to try to make the situation better for himself, but, after the first lesson, he really seemed to decide that he was just going to put up with it and keep his mouth shut -- except for complaining to me. Well, he did OK with that strategy for the the majority of the unit (If you can define "OK" as "managing to keep his mouth shut even though he was getting more and more angry and resentful and frustrated by the whole thing.")......

....until, one day at the very end of the unit, I'm at lunch with some colleagues, and I get a phone call from him:

L: "Mom, you're going to be getting a call from a principal because I just walked out of health class."

Me: "What happened?"

L: "Well, she wanted us to do this exercise where we had to respond to some really stupid questions she handed out (for the girls) about how they feel about certain things that boys do and (for the boys) how we feel about some things that girls do. And it was so stupid and insulting and just like yeah-sure-everyone-in-the-world-is-straight and I was just so angry and pissed-off already that when it came my turn to answer the question: 'I like it when girls.....', I said: 'I like it when girls go out with other girls and leave the boys for me,' and then I said '...and this lesson is so stupid and insulting that I can't take it anymore and I have to leave.' And I left."

Me: "Well, OK, go to your next class and if anyone gives you any trouble, have them call me. And when they call, I'll take care of it." (I did also take the Al Anon teaching opportunity to explain to him how taking care of himself by addressing some of the issues with the problems in the curriculum beforehand with the teacher might have kept things from having to get to this point.)

So, I get back to my office and, sure enough, there's a message from a principal asking me to call her back ASAP.........and, wow, after listening to him talk about this BS for several weeks and not getting involved or interfering in his life by trying to "fix" it all myself, I am SO fired-up and ready to rumble over this one, I call her back immediately:

Me: "Hi, this is CC, LS's mom returning your call. What's going on?" .... trying my best to sound all innocent-and-clueless-like, just wating for her to try to start in on my son and/or to try to defend the BS curriculum.

......but the joke was on me because, instead, she says: "Ms. C, I'm very sorry to have to tell you that your son walked out of his health class today because apparently there were some serious problems with the curriculum and he felt discriminated against as a gay student...." ...and she went on to apaolgize to me profusely and offered to meet with me and L and the teacher to make sure he was OK, etc....etc.....etc...."

Wow! What a (pleasant) shock that was -- although I do have to admit it was a little bit of a let-down not to get to have a big fight over it, seeing as how I had gotten myself all worked up already and everything.

freya

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

I think that was pretty cool!

[sct]

Actually, my boyfriend and I are both butcher than thou... just a couple of hoods from the ghetto, I'm from south side Chicago, he's originally from Juarez. Both like cars, tools, welding. He's a CWI, I work for a company that makes aeronautics parts. All of our furniture is from Craigslist and thrift stores, and maybe we have two dress shirts between us... I'm assuming he has two.

[freya]

Originally Posted by sct

maybe we have two dress shirts between us... I'm assuming he has two.

Ha! Ha! Ha! --- and would he be deeply offended to know that you posted an assumption so possibly injurious to his gender identity????? LOL!

...but your post raises an interesting issue that I've seen come up other places a bunch of times -- the assumption that somehow "blue collar butch" is "butcher" than "white collar butch." I find that assumption kinda intriguing and would like to know a little more about where it comes from and what kind of experience underlies it, because, for me personally, while a butch in a carhartt and a pair of old jeans can definitely be very, very sexy, I myself wouldn't automatically and necessarily think or feel that s/he was more sexy or more butch than a butch in a suit and tie....kinda depends more on the energy and the attitude and the confidence that's required to "own" the look, whatever "the look" is.....and, I do have to say, that, IMHO, my butch can do both very well....of course, I'm probably a little biased there

freya

[freya]

...oh my....I almost forgot this one:

Back in November, a friend of mine and I went to visit The Basilica of Our Lady of Victory in Lackawana NY (a very depressed, blue collar suburb of Buffalo). Even though I had lived in Buffalo during grad school, I never knew that this mazing church was there and only found out about it because I had been at an 11th Step AA meeting (gay) and had mentioned that one of the things that is part of my spiritual practice and that I had started doing about a year before I came into program was saying the Rosary...and I was talking about how, even though I am defintely not Catholic anymore, doing this was very important for me spiritually because of the ritual and meditational elements of it and because of the fact that it helps me feel connected to my dad's mom, who was an incredible, loving, and very spiritual woman and an avid rosary-prayer.

And after the meeting a guy had come up to talk to me, kinda as one former Catholic to another, and told me about this church. Since I was planning to take this friend of mine (also gay but not a program person) to Buffalo to visit a former profressor of ours and since I knew he had been going through a lot of emotional/mid-life crisis-type stuff and was also working on trying to reconnect spiritually, I told him about the church and we decided to go.

Well, it was totally amazing -- very hard to believe it is even in the US, let alone in Lackawana NY -- and beautiful and has such an interesting history (I highly recommend it to anyone who finds themselves in Western NY).

But the funny thing was -- here we are, 2 gay former Catholics in this gorgeous church and in the foyer they had some tables with some of those racks that you display informational pamphlets on. Well, on one of the racks, the bottom 3 rows were empty.....except for in the middle of the bottom rack, someone had very conspicuously placed a pamphlet entiteld: "What the Church Teaches about Same-sex Marriage"...and then had placed on both sides of that copies of another pamphlet entitled: "How to Forgive the Church"!!!!!! It was just so funny -- and so perfectly sarcastic and understated -- and we laughed 'til we could barely stand up.

freya

[justanothrdrunk]

Originally Posted by freya

But when it's 2 men, it's like who even needs to ask the question because they're both just like: "yes" "yes" "yes" "yes" "yes" "yes".......

freya

Sometimes I wish I were gay.

[RayRayRay]

My girlfriend and I both look like teenage boys. A shopping trip turns into many stares as people try to figure out what we are! I can't help but laugh. We place bets on who gets the first "Can I help you, sir?"
On our very first date I was asked to leave the women's washroom and directed to the men's. I was angry but I found the humour in it...And resisted flashing my breasts to the uptight women who thought I was a boy.

[freya]

Right before Christmas (2007) my partner had purchased this new "toy" (a "butch toy," if you get my drift), but anyways, a few days before Christmas, when the kids were already home, we were in our room one afternoon, and she was taking it out of the package it came in. We thought everyone was downstairs, so our door was open and we were just joking around -- fully clothed, nothing inappropriate.

But, our youngest (20 yrs. old at the time and gay) son must have been in his room lying down, because, all of a sudden, he appears at the doorway, and my partner, startled, clutches the "toy" to her chest and turns around facing into the corner. And our son is like: "So, C, what's up? You got a Christmas present for me or something?".....and she tries to put him off with something evasive, but he persisted (They are a great team for joking around with each other, especially about anything related to sex and/or gender....it's like watching a stand-up routine written by someone with a PhD in gender studies and performed by someone with a PhD in drag performance!)....and the more she tried to joke and put him off, the more he teased her and the more determined he was to know what she was up to.....So, finally, she flashes the "toy" at him and says: "Hell no, it's not for you!"

Then, without missing a beat, he like pretends to be fainting up against the wall the wall (he's very good at the melodrama) with his wrist brought up over his forehead, wailing:"Oh my god! Oh my god!...Mom, you'd better be careful. I think C might be a L-E-S-B-I-A-N!"!

Very rarely a dull moment around here when those 2 are together!

freya

[freya]

A few years ago, I decided to buy my partner a new i-pod for Christmas. So, I went to the Apple Store.

Now, I am not at all techie and C is very techie, so I was very proud of myself that I had secretly collected over the previous few months enough details about what she wanted that I could answer every one of the saleperson's questions. So, based on the info I gave him, he filled out this little form and put me in-line with all the other people waiting to purchase and collect their merchandise.

When I got up to the counter, I handed my form to this very pretty, very nice young woman (probably early 20's), who, after glancing at it guickly, asked me: "What color did you need?"

.......and I was totally stumped, because I thought that they were just all white! So, I looked at her totally clueless, and she said patiently: "They come in silver or black."

....and I was still clueless and I must have looked it, because she asks: "Is it for a boy or a girl?"

I said: "It's for a woman...."

..and without a second's hesitation, she turned around, snatched up a silver one and turned back to hand it to me...

..and I said, since, obviously, the gender of the recipient seemed to be relevant to her in regards to choosing the correct color: ".....She's a butch woman.."

..and again, without even a pause to think about it, she put the silver one back and snapped up a black one and handed it to me.

At that point, I'm sure I was looking at her quite quizically because she said, very helpfully and obviously without a single doubt in her mind: "It's easier for guys to accessorize the black ones and for girls to accessorize the silver ones!"

....geeeesh, what a huge relief! Without that wonderful girl's help I could so easily have bought my partner a not-butch-enough i-pod and ruined our entire Chistmas!!!!

freya

...and BTW...just so as I don't look totally ignorant around th issue of gender and colors, I would have had no problem "figuring it out" if my choices had been blue (boy) or pink (girl)....or even if they been silver (moon / Diana / female) or gold (sun / Apollo /male). After all, I am not totally culturally illiterate! ....but black or silver??????...Who'd a thunk it?????? This gender stuff sure is tricky! LOL!

[James13]

I'm straight, and my GF is bi.

With many things she is fem and certain things more like me. She has told me before that I have certain feminine characteristics. As far as the "chase" within the relationship, she is actually more identifiable to a guy. I like to kid her about being a "womanizer". lol. Maybe it's because I have long hair? lol, who knows.

She likes to build things in the garage. She is really talented as an artist, and has inspired and influenced my art greatly.

She is sober 2 years, I am sober 37 (?) days. Both in active recovery.

Referring to the OP, she usually identifies with woman roles in film. I usually identify with both. Second thought, more guy roles for me, but I have also been an emerging feminist for a while.

[Eroica]

Funny stories freya! i wish I attended your son's gay-friendly HS. I went to a high school of about 3,000 kids in Houston.. and maybe only 1 or 2 were out. Someone I knew wanted to start a gay-straight alliance and the idea was shot down by the administrators. This was in the mid 90s. I'm sure its different now.

[freya]

Originally Posted by Eroica

Funny stories freya! i wish I attended your son's gay-friendly HS. I went to a high school of about 3,000 kids in Houston.. and maybe only 1 or 2 were out. Someone I knew wanted to start a gay-straight alliance and the idea was shot down by the administrators. This was in the mid 90s. I'm sure its different now.

Eroica: Yes, we are very lucky to live in NYS -- and my sons' very lucky to go the that HS. It was actually the first HS in our county to have a GSA, and, when my son was going there (he's a Jr. in college now) they had had one for more than 10 years. The great motivating factor in this area is that we have a very socially and politically active group of Jewish women (holocaust survivors and the daughters of holocaust survivors) who are a powerful and vocal force in this area for tolerance and justice. They do a lot of educational stuff, but they are also definitely "watchdogs," too, and there aren't many people -- regardless of how hateful or ignorant -- who are really interested in being on their sh*t-list!!!!!

I, too, have lived in Texas. I actually came out in Dallas when I was 17 (that was 1977!)....and, yeah, they do tend to be just a wee bit slow down there about social justice-type stuff. My family moved there in 1973 (from Rochester where we had been very active in the anti-war and civil rights movements) and it was like falling into a friggin' time-warp. The first day I was in school there (8th grade) the teacher in my civics class told some boy who was talking too much that if he didn't shut up, he was going to make him sit in front of the only black girl in the class because then he wouldn't want to turn around and talk! I almost fell out of my chair!!! Scary stuff, ignorance.

Although, I do have to say, by the time I was in college, we had a very active Dallas Gay Political Task Force -- and I actually got to meet Harvey Milk and hear him speak because they brought him into town for a big conference that I helped out at.....and also some very famous theologian from England who was -- even at that time -- advocating for mainstream Christian churches to welcome gays and lesbians and doing a lot of theological research to support that...geeesh, I can't remember his name, but he was very cool -- and brilliant, with a wicked sense of humor, too!

Thanks for posting.....do you have any funny stories of your own???????

freya

[sct]

...but your post raises an interesting issue that I've seen come up other places a bunch of times -- the assumption that somehow "blue collar butch" is "butcher" than "white collar butch." I find that assumption kinda intriguing and would like to know a little more about where it comes from and what kind of experience underlies it, because, for me personally, while a butch in a carhartt and a pair of old jeans can definitely be very, very sexy, I myself wouldn't automatically and necessarily think or feel that s/he was more sexy or more butch than a butch in a suit and tie....kinda depends more on the energy and the attitude and the confidence that's required to "own" the look, whatever "the look" is.....and, I do

Well, I assume he has two because he used to live with a girl (his brother's ex) who still sometimes gives him clothes :}

I guess to me (and I'll preface this by saying that I grew up very blue-to-no-collar) blue collar jobs, working with tools, metal, cars, wood, working with your hands, 'feels' more masculine to me. I think that the suit-tie thing is fairly- non-gender-specific. Like- both men and women to dress up for business wear suits. Women might wear a skirt, but the formula is still basically the same.

... admittedly also, I have some BIG class issues. I identify as masculine, and I prefer to spend my time around men that I relate to, which also tend to be very blue or no collar, so I tend to identify more with that flavor of masculinity. I have a general tendency to view 'white collar' as a little more... prissy, because it takes a lot more attention to clothes, nails, matching, haircuts and stuff. Unless they have a personal shopper, in which case I view it as "d*uchey." ;}

[sct]

Originally Posted by justanothrdrunk

Sometimes I wish I were gay.

:] this is my smug face. I make it when I'm smug.

:]

[freya]

Hey, sct, I recently read your "recovery story" in another thread, and after reading it, I kinda figured that might be where you were coming from with this. (BTW, your story is very powerful and your boyfriend sounds remarkable -- to be interested in and take to heart the traditions like that -- that is way-cool. You are a lucky guy! Well, so is he, I'm sure!)

Anyway, I guess as far are the blue-collar vs. white collar thing goes, I've found that, for most of the men-born-male I know, it comes down to which side of the equation they themselves fall on. It seems like a lot blue collar men (and blue collar butches) see white collar men as being more protected and "prissy" (i.e. not as strong/powerful in a very physical, most likely to survive in a state-of-nature type way) as you said, and a lot of white collar men just see blue collar workers as not-as-powerful in an overall social/political context.......So, I guess it's like a physical strength vs. socio-economic and political "clout" thing.....which, as you pointed out, definitely makes it a class issue, big-time. Then, there's that whole issue of the fact that, as society changes, the characteristics/attributes that are likely to grant one access to power also change (for example, recently there's been a lot of stuff being written about the "geek" factor and about how "geekiness" becomes a very masculine, very attractive attribute in a society that worships technology)...so a lot of potential for some serious social criticism in this topic....but then I guess I'd be derailing my own thread!.

freya

...Oh and BTW, when I said "a butch in a suit and tie," I meant a butch in the exact kind of suit and tie that men wear -- not a butch in a women's pantsuit or, heaven's forbid, a skirt-suit......For me personally, there is nothing at all attractive about a butch who "tones down" her gender expression to "fit in" professionally....and I do actually know a few butches who have done very well in "white collar" professions without doing so...that's kinda what I meant about "the confidence to own the look"

[freya]

When my oldest son E was home the summer after his sophmore year in college (2005), he was really into this thing of addressing people, including me, as "dude." He did it so much that L started doing as a joke, too. I was like, "Guys, I'm your mom and I'm not a dude!", and they'd be like "Oh, it's just because you're such a cool mom that we can call you 'dude.'"

Then E came to me one day and told me his girl-friend-with-benefits (from school in DC) wanted to come visit for a few days, but he wasn't sure where she could stay, because his dad had his wife's brother's family plus 2 Japanese exchange students at his house and we had all 4 of us plus a friend of L's who was doing a theatre program in Rochester for the summer. So, I thought about it for a minute and told him that, if he would help me clean my room (king bed) and his room (single bed), I would stay in his room while she was here and they could stay in mine. (This was the year my partner and I were separated, so it wasn't like I was throwing her out of our room or anything!)

Then the conversation goes something like this:

E: "Mom, you would really do that?"

Me (not yet getting that this is somehow a big-deal for him): "Sure."

E (slowly and with emphasis): "That would really be OK with you?"

Me (starting to get it): "Yeah, of course, it's not like I don't know that you guys have sex, and if any one of my friends or a your aunts or uncles came here with a girlfriend or boyfriend I would do it for them, so I'm not going to be hypocritical about it and not do the same for you."

E (getting to the heart of the matter now): "But, mom, what am I supposed to tell her?"

Me: "What? You do want her to visit and you do want to sleep with her, right?"

E: "Well, yeah, but...I mean...you know....parents aren't supposed to do things like this.....I mean, not most people's parents.... This is a little weird, you know. How am I going to explain this to her?"

Me (laughing): "Well, if you want her to visit, I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out!"

So, he starts walking away, very clearly mulling over how best to approach the subject of the weird mother with the girlfriend....then he suddenly comes back, puts his hands on my shoulders, looks down at me and says, laughing: "Mom....."

Me: "What??"

E: "Stuff like this is why we call you 'dude'!"

freya

[freya]

Funny story this week from my son in DC -- who is very straight but works as a bartender at a gay bar.....(How he got that job is a good story itself, but that'll have to wait for another time!)

Anyways, the clientele at his bar tends to be successful, professional gay men 45+. And, since E is very confident, outgoing and friendly, he has done well at establishing good relationships with the regulars, yet maintaining his boundaries. So, the regulars at the bar know that he has a gay brother in NYC, and once in awhile they get on this kick of trying to get him to get his brother to come down to DC to visit, so they can meet him.

Well, last weekend they brought this up again and after a bit E said:

"Listen, he's not going to come visit me because he just wouldn't have a good time hanging out with me and my friends."

And they asked why not and how could he be so sure of that.

And E told them: "Well, you know our idea of great night on the weekend is to get a couple six packs, order some pizza and wings, watch some sports and play some guitar hero. And L is not going to want to do that stuff!"

Then, E tells me: "Then they all just kinda sat there and stared at me like I was from another planet for a second, and finally one of them said: 'Man, you really are straight, aren't you!!!"'

freya

[sct]

I got a sponsee recently. I talked with him for a little bit, kind of explaining where I'm at in my recovery so he'd know what he's getting into. I also said that I'm gay, in case that was going to be an issue. He gave me my favorite response which is "You don't look gay-"

To which I said, "Well, you don't look straight."

He kind of- looked at me like o.O

I explained, "You're not having sex with a woman right now. So far as I'm concerned- you could be gay."

He blinked and then laughed and said I had a good point.

[freya]

Originally Posted by sct

To which I said, "Well, you don't look straight."

He kind of- looked at me like o.O

What a perfect response!!!!!!!!!

[sct]

Thanks, it's one I keep up my sleeve just for situations like that, mostly because I don't have a stereotypical 'gay' look, so I get that response or similar pretty regularly. I also get...
"Really? But you seem so normal."
- That's because you don't know me that well yet. Give it time.
"Nuh uh... really?"
- If I'm not, I have some serious explaining to do to my boyfriend.

[backporchpoet]

I live in super gay friendly Boston. You can find a gay or lesbian couple pretty much everywhere you look. The only thing that sets us a little bit apart from most other couples is that we have a 3 year old son. Now I'm his biological Mother, and of course the super butch one in the relationship lol. I look like an 18 year old boy at best (although I'm 25), while my partner looks much like a stereotypical woman. To most, it's just assumed that she is the biological Mother.

So although we are very used to the "Look, it's lesbians!" stare.....the BEST stare is when my son turns to me and says "Mommy....". Now THAT really throws people off haha.