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Old 04-11-2017, 03:31 PM   #1 (permalink)
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OT: Personal Stuff


So when I checked the board this morning, I had a message that said I haven't posted in a while. And that's true; I haven't posted since December, which is when my fiancée and I got engaged.

It's been a crazy, busy start to 2017. Where to begin?...

My fiancée and I started looking at the cost of a formal wedding shortly after I popped the question, and we were horrified at what we saw. For a bare bones wedding with less than 75 people, we were looking at $18,000, at a minimum. Her being her, she said something to the effect of f*** that; she can be very, very emotional at times, but she's also got a pragmatic streak in her that's a mile wide. Unshackled from formality, we've opted to elope to St. Lucia at the beginning of September. We're staying at the Sandals Regency at La Toc in a one bedroom suite on the fourth floor overlooking the Caribbean. It's all inclusive, with two butlers at our beck and call. It's going to cost me about $7,000, but compared to a formal wedding at home, it's a no brainer and it's going to be a LOT more fun, too. We're having a party for 100 people when we get back. Her mother is splitting the cost of the catering with us. When all is said and done, I'm going to pay less than $10,000 compared to $18,000. I call that a win.

Professionally, my employer gave me a promotion and a huge raise -- 9.42%. I expected the former, but certainly not the latter. It's a nice way to be going into married life, that's for sure. I'm making some very, very nice money these days, although my responsibilities have also increased. This is why I'm not on the board as often as I would like.

Guitar-wise, check these out:

http://s1065.photobucket.com/user/zo...tml?sort=3&o=3


http://s1065.photobucket.com/user/zo...tml?sort=3&o=0

The white one is a custom shop Jackson I designed and pulled the trigger on last spring. The cool thing about Jackson is they'll build you anything you can dream up. I wanted a guitar that was nearly all white with blue abalone inlays and headstock logo. Her name is Jadis, and she screams. The Les Paul is a 1959 reissue that I pulled the trigger on just before the end of last year, and it completes my guitar bucket list. There's really nothing that can top a sunburst '59 Les Paul. Which is why I named her Marie, after my fiancée's middle name. This guitar also screams. If you want to rip out "Whole Lotta Love" or "Achilles Last Stand", this is the guitar to do it.

Various situations that my fiancée and I find ourselves in require the lessons learned from dealing with addiction. She has, for example, a friend who is about to ask her husband for a divorce, and her friend is really afraid to pull the trigger. This raises the ire of my fiancée. So I have to remind her that people will or will not make decisions according to their own timetable, and all we can do is support them...even if that means they don't do what we'd like them to do. I know how to let go. My fiancée struggles with it from time to time.

In short, life's pretty great these days, although my schedule is pretty busy and sometimes I don't have enough time to myself. But it is what it is.

Hope everyone is doing as well as they can.
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Old 04-11-2017, 03:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
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So glad you checked in and thrilled that things are going so well for you.

I LOVE that white guitar. I am imagining Terry Kath shredding that thing!
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Old 04-11-2017, 04:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Zoso, I am happy to read your update and so glad that your life is on such a good track today. Those guitars are magnificent, it's nice to see you pursue what you love.

Your wedding plans sound wonderful too, sheesh, I could use a couple of butlers and time on the beach....even after 48 years of marriage.

You are a shining example that life after addiction can be filled with joy, as life should be.

Hugs to you and to your lady. Much happiness as you go through life together.
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Old 04-11-2017, 05:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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GGOD POST. Thanks.
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Old 04-11-2017, 05:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
I LOVE that white guitar. I am imagining Terry Kath shredding that thing!
Yeah, the thing is stunning. She's a vicious sounding guitar. If Kath had lived, yeah, he would rip it up on that kind of guitar...
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Old 04-11-2017, 05:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
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so St. Lucia in September.....so there! i am crashing your party!

i am so happy for your happy news. and your thrift. you are going to have such a great time and a great life. you know here at SR we adore "her" right??? she for whom a guitar was named..........
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Old 04-11-2017, 06:17 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Very glad things are going well for you, zoso. Thanks for checking in.
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Old 04-11-2017, 06:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
so St. Lucia in September.....so there! i am crashing your party!

i am so happy for your happy news. and your thrift. you are going to have such a great time and a great life. you know here at SR we adore "her" right??? she for whom a guitar was named..........
It's funny. She and I are opposites in a lot of way. She runs hot blooded and I'm pretty cool headed. She can get worked up about people, and I let things roll. She's not a planner, but I am. But we balance out the other. We have never raised a voice at each other. Doesn't mean we haven't been pissed at each other, because I've certainly been pissed at her and she's been ticked at me, too. But one of the enduring lessons I absorbed from dealing with my AXGF is getting visibly angry with each other doesn't accomplish anything. Raising voices doesn't work. Name calling doesn't work. Wild accusations certainly doesn't work. So when my fiancée and I disagree, we have a quiet conversation, and we're usually holding hands when we do. We both respond to touch in that way. And then whatever we disagree on, we work it out. I've never had this sort of thing with another woman. Same for her with men.

So, yes, I adore her. We've known each other for years, and now we're getting married. How about that...
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Old 04-12-2017, 04:49 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
But one of the enduring lessons I absorbed from dealing with my AXGF is getting visibly angry with each other doesn't accomplish anything. Raising voices doesn't work. Name calling doesn't work. Wild accusations certainly doesn't work. So when my fiancée and I disagree, we have a quiet conversation, and we're usually holding hands when we do. We both respond to touch in that way. And then whatever we disagree on, we work it out.
This is what a healthy relationship looks like.

You don't have to agree on everything, respecting each other's personal views, values and interests, even when they are different from your own, is a huge key to longevity in any relationship.

My husband and I have always had "his" "hers" and "ours" interests and hobbies, even friends fall into any of those categories. It keeps us interesting and fresh, even after 48 years, and gives us stories and experiences to share.

You took your time with this relationship, Zoso, and you brought many good lessons with you. I have a feeling you will bring each other joy in years to come.

Hugs
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Old 04-12-2017, 06:17 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Congratulation Zoso...I am happy for you and how life is treating you. I was thinking of you a few months back when I sold my home ( was also my childhood home). It was tough, but not as bad as I thought it would be.

So...is that an invite? I can sleep on the couch. You won't even know I'm there!
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Old 04-12-2017, 08:28 AM   #11 (permalink)
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So...is that an invite? I can sleep on the couch. You won't even know I'm there!
Of course, CeCe. PM me and I'll give you our flight information and we'll see you on St. Lucia...
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Old 04-12-2017, 08:41 AM   #12 (permalink)
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What a wonderful post Zoso I am very happy for you and your fiancée. Sounds like a wonderful trip/wedding destination and an amazing way to begin a new life together.
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Old 04-12-2017, 04:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Thanks for the update Zoso, how AMAZING for your Honeymoon! congratulations to you for your happiness and your new life together!
TT
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Old 04-13-2017, 08:32 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Congratulations Zoso! I knew you are engaged, but that sounds like a wonderful plan. So I say congrats to that, and to your promotion! Good stuff! Enjoy every second, they go too fast!
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Old 04-14-2017, 09:11 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Wishing you and your wife-to-be a blessed life together. Getting there sounds like you have learned to trust in love again. All things happen for a reason, and you definitely learned so much from the tough times. I haven't been on here since last September - funny that I popped in the same week that you did ! Have fun planning your trip and nuptials. Keep us updated. Hugs to you, Joie
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Old 04-21-2017, 05:09 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zoso77 View Post
We have never raised a voice at each other. Doesn't mean we haven't been pissed at each other, because I've certainly been pissed at her and she's been ticked at me, too. But one of the enduring lessons I absorbed from dealing with my AXGF is getting visibly angry with each other doesn't accomplish anything. Raising voices doesn't work. Name calling doesn't work. Wild accusations certainly doesn't work. So when my fiancée and I disagree, we have a quiet conversation, and we're usually holding hands when we do. We both respond to touch in that way. And then whatever we disagree on, we work it out.
So, yes, I adore her. We've known each other for years, and now we're getting married. How about that...
Awesome share. Best of luck to you two.
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Old 04-21-2017, 06:57 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Be Happy!! Some of the things you have posted have given me inspiration...

Enjoy....and prayers for happiness
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