My very own pity party
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 254
My very own pity party
I try so hard to put a happy face on and push forward every day. But I have to say this has been one shi//y week. If I'm not hysterical crying because, for instance, like the time my son walked out of rehab and I had no idea where he was, then otherwise than that, my family thinks I'm fine, perfect, in control, not stressed -- and feel free to be so damn selfish and clueless.
Last Saturday I had some family over, including my son and his wife. The live an hour away. He goes to school full time and works part time. She goes to school part time and works full time. They're always busy, don't have a lot of free time for visits, and I treasure every minute with them because literally they are the sunshine of my life, they are my happy place. They are so in love and excited for their future, and full of plans and dreams, that just being near them I can't help but smile. So they said they'd be at my house around 6. They arrived 6:15. Well, you'd have thought they were out playing games with themselves all day. Other relatives (my mother and her gentleman): "I guess if we want X&Y to be here at 6, we need to tell them 5:30" comments like that, that should not set me off, but they did. My son was up at 4:30 in the morning, started work at 6, worked 9 hours, took a nap and then they came to my house, whereas his wife attended a class and then cleaned their apartment and did laundry while he was at work. It's not that they were goofing around somewhere and lost track of time. And I called crabby who freaks out if she's not eating dinner by 4:30 in the afternoon ahead of time and said, "X&Y ANTICIPATE 6 pm, but I advise you to have a snack or some fruit before you come over, because 6 is not a guarantee " and to tell her buddy to do the same. Did they eat some fruit? NO because they didn't want to be too full to eat. TOO FULL TO EAT? An apple or a banana at 4 is going to affect dinner after 6 pm? Not bloody likely. The two of them ate enough food to choke a horse,. Certainly one little apple would not have substantially diminished the appetite of either. I just wanted to smack the crap out of the complainers and tell them to go the hell home and don't come back. Vent #1 over.
Monday night at nearly midnight the phone rang and woke me from a sound sleep. BAM adrenalin starts pumping because NOTHING good happens late at night, right? While reaching for the phone, I did a split=second inventory.... X&Y never ever call the house phone; they always call my cell, so they're ok.... other Son is home in bed asleep so it's not him... therefore it's my sister-in-law or my mother or an ambulance/hospital calling on their behalf. Well guess who it was? Some MORON calling, "gee I'm sorry to call so late but I'm calling about the item you have for sale on Craigslist." ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? My heart was thumping and I have no idea what my BP and heart rate were for an hour after that, because of course I immediately went into crisis mode because of the lateness of the hour.... not like I have not had EXPERIENCE with late phone calls that are never good news, right? I had a fitful sleep and my stomach was upset all the next day. Rant #2 over.
THEN my son has not had to go to probation in quite some time because he was in a program and so he reported to the program and the program reported to probation on his behalf. Well, we knew that eventually probation would want to do their own check in. I come home from work one night this week and hand my car keys to my son because he wants to go to an early NA meeting. I walk in the house and my husband "" has to show me "something important". He opens up his briefcase and pulls out a legal notice. He assumed that "something happened again" and our son was hiding something bad from us when he saw this notice in the mail. So he hid it, to show it to me, instead of just asking Son what it was about. NO YOU MORON THAT'S FROM PROBATION, THOSE NOTICES HAVE BEEN COMING FREAKING FOREVER. I HAVE SHOWED YOU BEFORE WHEN YOU CONFISCATED ONE OF THEM... THIS IS NOT A BIG DEAL. THIS IS AN ONGOING ISSUE. SEE THE RETURN ADDRESS? THIS IS NOTHING UNEXPECTED. Oy vey. Then I took a closer look at it and our home address was printed incorrect on the label, crossed out, and the correct house # was written in pen. Then I noticed it was post marked over a week prior. This is not good. I opened the darn thing -- good thing -- it was to advise Son to report THAT DAY before 7 pm. Great, now I'm calling and texting my son, who is driving, knowing he won't answer because he just paid off a cell phone/driving ticket... but hoping he'll look at phone before he walks into the meeting. Thank goodness he did, he blew off the meeting and went to probation. Any my husband can't figure out why I was stressed, or why I was annoyed with him. Couldn't understand "what's the big deal" Gee I don't know, he hasn't seen the probation officer in months, and then if he never showed for their first face-to-face meeting in all that time, gee do ya think it could have been a BIG DEAL???!
I swear sometimes I look at all those credit card offers with big cash advances, that come in the mail almost daily, and I want to find a country (with a beach) with no extradition, cashout the offers and run away, leaving the rest of them in the rear view mirror and paying off my debts!!!
Last Saturday I had some family over, including my son and his wife. The live an hour away. He goes to school full time and works part time. She goes to school part time and works full time. They're always busy, don't have a lot of free time for visits, and I treasure every minute with them because literally they are the sunshine of my life, they are my happy place. They are so in love and excited for their future, and full of plans and dreams, that just being near them I can't help but smile. So they said they'd be at my house around 6. They arrived 6:15. Well, you'd have thought they were out playing games with themselves all day. Other relatives (my mother and her gentleman): "I guess if we want X&Y to be here at 6, we need to tell them 5:30" comments like that, that should not set me off, but they did. My son was up at 4:30 in the morning, started work at 6, worked 9 hours, took a nap and then they came to my house, whereas his wife attended a class and then cleaned their apartment and did laundry while he was at work. It's not that they were goofing around somewhere and lost track of time. And I called crabby who freaks out if she's not eating dinner by 4:30 in the afternoon ahead of time and said, "X&Y ANTICIPATE 6 pm, but I advise you to have a snack or some fruit before you come over, because 6 is not a guarantee " and to tell her buddy to do the same. Did they eat some fruit? NO because they didn't want to be too full to eat. TOO FULL TO EAT? An apple or a banana at 4 is going to affect dinner after 6 pm? Not bloody likely. The two of them ate enough food to choke a horse,. Certainly one little apple would not have substantially diminished the appetite of either. I just wanted to smack the crap out of the complainers and tell them to go the hell home and don't come back. Vent #1 over.
Monday night at nearly midnight the phone rang and woke me from a sound sleep. BAM adrenalin starts pumping because NOTHING good happens late at night, right? While reaching for the phone, I did a split=second inventory.... X&Y never ever call the house phone; they always call my cell, so they're ok.... other Son is home in bed asleep so it's not him... therefore it's my sister-in-law or my mother or an ambulance/hospital calling on their behalf. Well guess who it was? Some MORON calling, "gee I'm sorry to call so late but I'm calling about the item you have for sale on Craigslist." ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? My heart was thumping and I have no idea what my BP and heart rate were for an hour after that, because of course I immediately went into crisis mode because of the lateness of the hour.... not like I have not had EXPERIENCE with late phone calls that are never good news, right? I had a fitful sleep and my stomach was upset all the next day. Rant #2 over.
THEN my son has not had to go to probation in quite some time because he was in a program and so he reported to the program and the program reported to probation on his behalf. Well, we knew that eventually probation would want to do their own check in. I come home from work one night this week and hand my car keys to my son because he wants to go to an early NA meeting. I walk in the house and my husband "" has to show me "something important". He opens up his briefcase and pulls out a legal notice. He assumed that "something happened again" and our son was hiding something bad from us when he saw this notice in the mail. So he hid it, to show it to me, instead of just asking Son what it was about. NO YOU MORON THAT'S FROM PROBATION, THOSE NOTICES HAVE BEEN COMING FREAKING FOREVER. I HAVE SHOWED YOU BEFORE WHEN YOU CONFISCATED ONE OF THEM... THIS IS NOT A BIG DEAL. THIS IS AN ONGOING ISSUE. SEE THE RETURN ADDRESS? THIS IS NOTHING UNEXPECTED. Oy vey. Then I took a closer look at it and our home address was printed incorrect on the label, crossed out, and the correct house # was written in pen. Then I noticed it was post marked over a week prior. This is not good. I opened the darn thing -- good thing -- it was to advise Son to report THAT DAY before 7 pm. Great, now I'm calling and texting my son, who is driving, knowing he won't answer because he just paid off a cell phone/driving ticket... but hoping he'll look at phone before he walks into the meeting. Thank goodness he did, he blew off the meeting and went to probation. Any my husband can't figure out why I was stressed, or why I was annoyed with him. Couldn't understand "what's the big deal" Gee I don't know, he hasn't seen the probation officer in months, and then if he never showed for their first face-to-face meeting in all that time, gee do ya think it could have been a BIG DEAL???!
I swear sometimes I look at all those credit card offers with big cash advances, that come in the mail almost daily, and I want to find a country (with a beach) with no extradition, cashout the offers and run away, leaving the rest of them in the rear view mirror and paying off my debts!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 254
Oh yes indeed. Tonight I'm going to hear Tibetan singing bowls for a meditation/relax/rejuvinate session. Tomorrow I'm back for regular meditation, and Sunday I'm going for a massage. The only ones I want to hear from are Sunshine or his Wife. I need a break from ALL the rest of them :-)
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
That is the best vent I have heard all day. Good for you, get it out girl!
My XAH's family were completely like that. If they told you to be at their house at six, that meant 5:30. I eventually got usto it, but always thought it was stupid, and still do.
If people don't like it, they can.....leave!
I am really glad you are getting these feelings out here, that's good stuff.
WE SUPPORT YOU FRIEND!!!!!
Tight hugs. Enjoy your meditation this weekend, sounds wonderful!
My XAH's family were completely like that. If they told you to be at their house at six, that meant 5:30. I eventually got usto it, but always thought it was stupid, and still do.
If people don't like it, they can.....leave!
I am really glad you are getting these feelings out here, that's good stuff.
WE SUPPORT YOU FRIEND!!!!!
Tight hugs. Enjoy your meditation this weekend, sounds wonderful!
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Join Date: Nov 2016
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Originally Posted by CherryVanilla 
Oh yes indeed. Tonight I'm going to hear Tibetan singing bowls for a meditation/relax/rejuvinate session. Tomorrow I'm back for regular meditation, and Sunday I'm going for a massage. The only ones I want to hear from are Sunshine or his Wife. I need a break from ALL the rest of them :-)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 254
I was so tired that I took a nap before going out last night, and didn't wake up in time so I didn't go. 😒 today I woke up with a terrible headache and cold, so again I slept and stayed home. I was really looking forward to this weekend, having planned something for each day. I've canceled the massage for tomorrow and rescheduled everything to next weekend.
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