CherryVanilla

Even when things are going "good" it's still a roller coaster ride. I cautiously report that my son appears to be extremely serious about this round of IOP, and has decided that he needs/wants medical assistance and met with IOP's doctor today to have all his medical questions answered about Vivitrol.

(Disclaimer, I am NOT asking anyone to tell me the pros/cons of Vivitrol, why he should or should not take this med, etc. It's been a long long road, and if he's ready and willing to try this, I don't need to hear anything that questions or casts doubt on that decision - thank you).

But "sigh" -- he went there this afternoon for the meeting and took the girlfriend with him. In addition to the medical appointment, one of the social workers or administrators or whoever she is will be looking into his health benefits for him and let him know about coverage, cost, etc.

In the meantime, I (who work in a medical office and process insurance claims) would have been more than happy to accompany him to make sure this is done properly. My husband and I have a deal with our son that as long as he's doing what he's supposed to be doing (meetings, IOP, sober friends, etc), we will contribute by ensuring that his medical insurance is paid and we will pick up the cost of copays or deductibles.


He's going back to IOP tonight. Maybe this assistant will have something to tell him (and hopefully it will be WRITTEN DOWN!), which I can verify on Monday with the insurance company.

He barely has two nickles to rub together, so this medication is going to be courtesy of mom and dad -- and I have to make sure this is done properly and affordably. I don't want him to jeopardize his health because we find a glitch. I know there is also a once daily pill that is quite affordable, but he feels (and I agree) that "one and done" until the next month is probably the best route for him as long as insurance will pay.

I should be (am) proud that he's taken this step, but I wish he'd get over thinking he knows everything and not wanting someone who thoroughly understands medical billing to be present when the cost/billing was being explored. SIGH!

Ann

It's a killer to have to let go and let him find his own way, I know, I've been there, done that and own 100 T-shirts...but in the end, it is good for them to figure all this out.

That said, because of your expertise and the fact that you will be paying the bill, I think you should be able to check everything out to make sure it's what you can afford or are insured for.

It may be wise to voice your concern before he signs an agreement that is out of the question.

Good luck, and I am so glad he is doing well.

Hugs

AnvilheadII

please understand that Vivitrol or any other "addiction cessation" medication ONLY works if the addict plunges themselves into recovery. we had a buddy WAY back when who took antabuse and still drank on it. yeah he'd get sick, but he was willing to BE sick in order to still drink.

your son needs to show initiative. as in he should be outrunning YOU on seeking recovery.

ladyscribbler

Could you use your knowledge to figure out what a reasonable or average amount is to pay for the shots and give him that figure, letting him know how you arrived at it and that if he commits to something more expensive he will need to find a way to make up the difference? Rather than going with him and taking over the process yourself, let him learn how to navigate the adult world on his own.

I think it's positive that he wants to explore this on his own, and you could share your knowledge without taking away this learning opportunity.

CherryVanilla

I don't understand what you're trying to say.

It's his idea to try vivitrol, not mine.

He's investigating the program, ("outrunning" me, I suppose), but since he has zero means to pay, I want to understand the program/cost totally.

ErzaLee

I know it sucks but most sons and daughters aren't really keen on having their parents go to places like that with them. I know my parents are there for me, and I appreciate it, but when I get down in the dumps every now and then, my mother is big on jumping up immediately to tell me how she's more experienced than I am, how I'd get nowhere without her, and how she can do everything better than I can, and it kind of pushes me away more than it makes me want her help – not that I’m saying you do this, but even if you don’t actively say things like this, kids still think this way. He knows that you're more experienced, he knows that you'll be the one to help, and he appreciates it, but he probably took his girlfriend because she's someone on his level who he feels he can connect with easier since she’s most likely similar to him and has most likely gone through similar things alongside him, which makes it easier for him. Like Ann said, he will figure it all out for himself. This is probably good for him in the long run too, because he can’t always depend on his parents forever, and like Ladyscribbler said, it's good he’s trying to navigate the adult world on his own. I feel right now you should just focus on the positives – it looks like he knows he has a problem and he’s trying to take the next step; he’s trying to do things on his own, and he knows you and your husband are truly there for him. I’m sure you could research the drug and payment some yourself, and if he decides to go along with it without even talking to you about it, especially if he expects you to pay, then I’d be pretty annoyed and would let him know; maybe even say you weren’t ok with paying until you saw some information, but I think he will probably come and talk to you about it later on, especially if he knows you’re the one who will be paying.

heartcore

I know you said you don't want specific Vivitrol experiences that raised questions or concerns for you, but - to be encouraging - it was the missing link for my daughter. She does the monthly shot & is finally successfully sober & thriving.

I was tentative, but - for her - it was a great choice. We've had quite a journey, so it is exciting and meaningful to me that this is - so far - supporting her sobriety powerfully.

heartcore

Ps. She stubbornly did not avail herself of any of my "professional" assistance in setting it up. She set it up herself. I think that was really important to her...

CherryVanilla

Thanks. I mostly said I didn't want input because I didn't want negative comments. While I appreciate and respect everyone's experiences, I just can't handle negativity right now. Thanks for the positive input!

hopeful4

No guidance, just wanting to send you a big hug and let you know we are here for you! I personally think any time an addict wants to do anything to contribute to their own recovery, it's a great thing.

Ilovemysonjj

Thanks for the update! Praying all goes well Cherry.