He relapsed, I'm pregnant
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Hello,
I'm glad you are here. I think his mom's suggestion about alanon meetings is s good one. Also, there may be some single mom groups that you can build another support network.
I can already tell you are going to be a good mom, you are putting your baby first.
Sending lots of love your way.
❤️Delilah
I'm glad you are here. I think his mom's suggestion about alanon meetings is s good one. Also, there may be some single mom groups that you can build another support network.
I can already tell you are going to be a good mom, you are putting your baby first.
Sending lots of love your way.
❤️Delilah
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Hello,
I'm glad you are here. I think his mom's suggestion about alanon meetings is s good one. Also, there may be some single mom groups that you can build another support network.
I can already tell you are going to be a good mom, you are putting your baby first.
Sending lots of love your way.
❤️Delilah
I'm glad you are here. I think his mom's suggestion about alanon meetings is s good one. Also, there may be some single mom groups that you can build another support network.
I can already tell you are going to be a good mom, you are putting your baby first.
Sending lots of love your way.
❤️Delilah
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
I've been away from the board for a little bit, and this is the first thread I've really read since around Christmas. This stood out.
Interesting dynamic, isn't it? One that defies logic, but when viewed through the prism of addiction, it makes all the sense in the world.
It is not very often I'm as blunt with newcomers as I'm about to be with you, but given the fact you're expecting, this situation calls for blunt, straight talk.
Ditch him. Lose him. Put him in your rearview mirror. The probability that he is going to be a responsible romantic partner AND a responsible parent is not quite zero, but it's close enough to consider him not worth the risk you'd be taking by keeping him in your life.
It is not easy to write this. It will not be easy to give him the boot. Every maternal instinct in your body will be crying out for the opportunity to give your baby a two parent home, which the baby deserves. But once you convolve addiction and his history into your situation, what the baby (and you) deserve is supplanted by both of you surviving without further emotional injury. No games, no second, third, fourth and fifth chances, none of that. Boot him to the curb, and concentrate your energies on healing emotionally and preparing for the blessed day that you become a mother.
I'm sorry you've had to come to us under these circumstances, and I hope you do not mistake my directness for lack of caring or sympathy. You have no margin for error, Mundanedays, and I want to you get through this in one piece.
Keep us posted.
One day he wants to marry me, the next day I'm a b!!!! and a ****, and he never loved me. All of this while I'm pregnant with his child. Being accused of things I would never do to him.
It is not very often I'm as blunt with newcomers as I'm about to be with you, but given the fact you're expecting, this situation calls for blunt, straight talk.
Ditch him. Lose him. Put him in your rearview mirror. The probability that he is going to be a responsible romantic partner AND a responsible parent is not quite zero, but it's close enough to consider him not worth the risk you'd be taking by keeping him in your life.
It is not easy to write this. It will not be easy to give him the boot. Every maternal instinct in your body will be crying out for the opportunity to give your baby a two parent home, which the baby deserves. But once you convolve addiction and his history into your situation, what the baby (and you) deserve is supplanted by both of you surviving without further emotional injury. No games, no second, third, fourth and fifth chances, none of that. Boot him to the curb, and concentrate your energies on healing emotionally and preparing for the blessed day that you become a mother.
I'm sorry you've had to come to us under these circumstances, and I hope you do not mistake my directness for lack of caring or sympathy. You have no margin for error, Mundanedays, and I want to you get through this in one piece.
Keep us posted.
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