bluerskies

I used to post here frequently when I was in a relationship with someone with a drug problem. I spent 7 years of my life on a terrible terrible ride that eventually ended with him overdosing and dying. Sadly my niece is now having drug problems and in some ways she seems even worse then he was. She is extremely manipulative, out of control, has no seeming concern for others, constantly in trouble with the law. My brother is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She was doing treatment because of a court order and everyone has been taking her back and forth from treatment. Last night he had worked almost 2 days straight at his job and he was so tired he let her go to a meeting by herself and she hasn't come home. Besides the obvious concern about her safety, she has a court date today and from what I understand she will be getting a felony charge if she doesn't comply with court orders.

I am not handling any of this well. I've seen what drugs can do and I don't believe in happy endings anymore. This just makes me want to disappear. I can't go through this again. I can't watch my family hurt by this and I can't watch someone I love destroy themselves again.

cece1960

I'm sorry Bluer. Your reaction is very understandable.
I know you want to help your brother, but you also need to take care of you. Distance yourself if you need to.

dandylion

bluerskies....You know, it might be a blessing if she does get charged and ends up in jail...at least, she would be safer than on the streets. She might have some time to get her brain more cleared out.....and, to do some thinking....
I hope your brother is getting some proper help for himself.....

AnvilheadII

my only "wisdom" is to take care of YOU first! you've been thru a lot. this has to be unreal to witness. i hope you can offer your brother some suggestions on support for HIM.

peacelovesober

Oh I am so sorry to hear that. Its such a terrible thing that binds us. Hugs to you ---as someone stated earlier detach and distance yourself if needed. I pray that she does what she needs to do to get better.

Ann

Sending my prayers out for you and her and all who love her.

As others have said, jail is not the worse that can happen, it may be what she needs to get clean and rethink her path.

I am sorry for all you have been through. Please take very good care of yourself.

Hugs

JimC60

Bluerskies,

"...she has a court date today and from what I understand she will be getting a felony charge if she doesn't comply with court orders. "

Like Dandylion and others have said, a felony charge with jail time might actually be a good thing for her.

There are several parents in my Nar-Anon group who all thought that the absolute worst thing that could happen to their kid was for them to be sent to jail.

Their kids ended up in jail and that is where they found their sobriety either on their own or in DOC-run programs. They said when their kid was in jail that they relaxed - they knew where they were, and that they had a roof over their head, 3 hots, a cot and health care.

Meanwhile, you need to take care of you.

Keep coming back,

Jim