Iwishonstars777

Having a hard time distancing myself from what my xaf is going through. His brother apparently kicked him out. While he was at work and threw all his stuff outside (or so that's what his brother told me) and my xaf doesn't know this yet because he's not hone from work yet. And I've heard both of them today and neither of their stories match up. What his brother accused him of taking..he ended up finding. He also went through his stuff and found a spoon. Great, good going xaf. Good way to get kicked out. So his brother complained to me everything I already know about living with him. He told me he was bringing his friend over for "backup" with a 9mm. I advised against involving a murderous weapon, let alone another person. Obviously I have no control over any of them and then his brother tells me he ended up having to go to work so he won't be there when my xaf gets home. (He was super pissed, pissed is an understatement). Now my xaf is calling telling me what I already know from his brother..but again, what I was told by both of them, neither of their stories match up. I feel bad that this is happening but I'm not going to try to control. I wish there was something I could do (duh, naturally) but I know that I should stay out of it. I wish they could handle their own issues without involving me...it makes it that much harder for me to handle myself and my emotions. I've tried to stay out of their business but they both seem to vent to me. Ahhhhh! And xaf is saying how crappy life is and when you finally start doing good for yourself, something always happens (well to him, just how he is..idk). He's depressed, discouraged, lonely. And it sucks I can't be there to scoop him up to save him. Like I've always done. I know he needs to figure this stuff out on his own. I know that, and I want him to, as much as I want to help, I know I cant, because that just brings me in closer again with him. I don't know. I have an interview tomorrow and the last thing I want is be stressed starting a job. My heart is still pounding from all the drama. I don't like this feeling. This is what I wanted to get away from. And funny...it was his brother with the whole gun thing that made me feel that way...not my xaf.
Thanks for the vent. Any words of advice, encouragement, inspiration, even something humurous, would be greatly appreciated.

Ann

You can simply detach, not speaking or listening to either one of them. Their drama is THEIR drama and hearing about it is bound to draw you in and upset you.

Good luck on your job interview, and good luck in stepping wayyy back from all this and just finding your own peace and recovery.

Hugs

P.S. If I knew there was going to be a gun attending what was bound to be a conflict, I would call the police and have it handled professionally. Just sayin'.

Mountainmanbob

Lay low and do your best to stay far away from the drama trama.
Don't answer your phone when they call.
Let it go to -- please leave a message.
Life is short and our serenity depends a lot on who we have in our lives.
M-Bob

AnvilheadII

wish they could handle their own issues without involving me...it makes it that much harder for me to handle myself and my emotions. I've tried to stay out of their business but they both seem to vent to me. Ahhhhh!

they CAN handle their own issues, in some form or fashion. you do not have to ANSWER the phone when they call. each time you do, YOU engage with them.