When you hate someone you used to love.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 408
When you hate someone you used to love.
Well, my ex posted nude photos of me on the internet. Don't lecture me on how I shouldn't have done that. I'm well aware, I'm a grown woman and made a poor decision. Haven't been in contact with him for months, this is out of left field. He's not sober, but now more than ever, I know he's not a good person. I really feel like I hate him. Being "sick" and an addict is not an excuse to be a horrible person. My face isn't in the photos, so websites refuse to take them down. Needed to put this down somewhere.
oh my gosh, hon....how terrible. thank goodness your face is not exposed. that doesn't make what he did any "better" but does provide a level of protection for you. i'd suggest keeping that info to yourself and not driving others TO the site to see for themselves.
quite despicable.
quite despicable.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 408
oh my gosh, hon....how terrible. thank goodness your face is not exposed. that doesn't make what he did any "better" but does provide a level of protection for you. i'd suggest keeping that info to yourself and not driving others TO the site to see for themselves.
quite despicable.
quite despicable.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
It's funny...I honestly don't hate my AXGF, and she did some things that made my short-term life, post-breakup, very difficult. In hindsight, I arrived at a place where I clearly saw who and what she was. And once that picture was clear, I was done. I hate what she did, but hating her takes up way too much energy, and she ain't f**king worth it.
So, I'm sorry that you had to learn an extremely hard lesson in the manner that you have, but I hope some clarity comes out of this. It sounds like there is when you wrote:
Chin up, push forward, and don't let the SOB get you.
So, I'm sorry that you had to learn an extremely hard lesson in the manner that you have, but I hope some clarity comes out of this. It sounds like there is when you wrote:
Haven't been in contact with him for months, this is out of left field. He's not sober, but now more than ever, I know he's not a good person.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,975
Wow, talk about being an unchivalrous, douchbag, turd of a human being.
Well, at least he isn't leaving you wondering if maybe he isn't that "bad"!!! Argh!
May you wake up every morning grateful that he isn't in bed with you and may the few folks who see the pictures think you are a hottie!!!
Well, at least he isn't leaving you wondering if maybe he isn't that "bad"!!! Argh!
May you wake up every morning grateful that he isn't in bed with you and may the few folks who see the pictures think you are a hottie!!!
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
HPL,
Sorry about your idiot ex, but I think you have already figured this situation out for yourself and have come the appropriate conclusion
"He's not sober, but now more than ever, I know he's not a good person. I really feel like I hate him. Being "sick" and an addict is not an excuse to be a horrible person." Good conclusion!
My daughter (K) had a similar situation come up recently with her ex, certainly not identical, but somewhat similar. RADD (K) had to go to court recently and ran into her addicted, mentally and physically abusive, ex in the parking lot. He more or less bragged to her that he had a new girlfriend and that she was definitely history. Sort of throwing that all in her face.
K was upset over this encounter and I can certainly see how it would be upsetting. I told her, "Good, now he has someone new to take advantage of and knock around when he feels like it, she will find out soon enough."
That was very blunt and I worried about it as soon as I said it - but I couldn't call the words back. We continued to talk for a few more minutes and she returned to the topic, "Why would he do that?" ( brag about his new girlfriend). I pondered my response very briefly, there was only one thing I could say other than "I don't know.", which would not be true.
So I told her the truth as I see it, " Because he is a controlling, abusive a**hole, and he wanted to hurt you one more time, that's why he did it."
Silence on the phone line, then, "You're right, I'm glad he's gone."
I told her she had two choices, she could let the incident gnaw at her which would not accomplish anything good, or just let it go. K said she thought she could let it go - good on her and good on you for coming to the same conclusion. Don't waste your time on people that are not good for you.
"Needed to put this down somewhere." I can certainly understand that! Venting is good for the psyche, and this a great place to do it! Now you can just let it go.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Sorry about your idiot ex, but I think you have already figured this situation out for yourself and have come the appropriate conclusion
"He's not sober, but now more than ever, I know he's not a good person. I really feel like I hate him. Being "sick" and an addict is not an excuse to be a horrible person." Good conclusion!
My daughter (K) had a similar situation come up recently with her ex, certainly not identical, but somewhat similar. RADD (K) had to go to court recently and ran into her addicted, mentally and physically abusive, ex in the parking lot. He more or less bragged to her that he had a new girlfriend and that she was definitely history. Sort of throwing that all in her face.
K was upset over this encounter and I can certainly see how it would be upsetting. I told her, "Good, now he has someone new to take advantage of and knock around when he feels like it, she will find out soon enough."
That was very blunt and I worried about it as soon as I said it - but I couldn't call the words back. We continued to talk for a few more minutes and she returned to the topic, "Why would he do that?" ( brag about his new girlfriend). I pondered my response very briefly, there was only one thing I could say other than "I don't know.", which would not be true.
So I told her the truth as I see it, " Because he is a controlling, abusive a**hole, and he wanted to hurt you one more time, that's why he did it."
Silence on the phone line, then, "You're right, I'm glad he's gone."
I told her she had two choices, she could let the incident gnaw at her which would not accomplish anything good, or just let it go. K said she thought she could let it go - good on her and good on you for coming to the same conclusion. Don't waste your time on people that are not good for you.
"Needed to put this down somewhere." I can certainly understand that! Venting is good for the psyche, and this a great place to do it! Now you can just let it go.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 168
To me, telling someone not to send naked photos for fear of distribution is victim-blaming. Obviously sending photos comes with it's own risks, but for me, I knew that but had a level of trust built with the person. So far I haven't been burned but I thank you for sharing this story as a reminder that things aren't always as they seem.
If he has to sink that low to attack you, he must think you're pretty high above him. Don't let that POS pull you down. You're an amazing woman - don't forget it.
If he has to sink that low to attack you, he must think you're pretty high above him. Don't let that POS pull you down. You're an amazing woman - don't forget it.
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