Found put my ex ABF has a new gf, it's bothering me more than I thought it would
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Join Date: Jun 2015
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Found put my ex ABF has a new gf, it's bothering me more than I thought it would
Jeez, just when I finally thought I had moved on and was doing well. A mutual friend informed me that my addict ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend and it's pretty serious. He's doing all sorts of things for her that he never did for me. My friend is pretty sure that he is still using here and there, but his life has somehow gotten back on track somewhat, regardless of this. She knows nothing about the new girlfriend and I really don't care to know anything. But it sounds like he's happy, and he's doing all kinds of things for her that he never did for me. I guess I just wasn't ever good enough for him. It's bothering me way more than I ever thought it would. More than that, it's bothering me that it's bothering me! This may sound selfish and immature, but it seems really unfair that he moved on first and found someone, and was able to forget me so easily after everything we went through together. And I'm still here trying to put my life back together, unable to even think about dating again, more than a year after we broke up. What is wrong with me?? Has anyone else been through something like this? I can't believe how upset I am about it, I don't understand it because I honestly thought I was in a much better place and had finally left all of that in the past. If anyone can offer some advice or words of wisdom, I would greatly appreciate it. Please be kind, I'm really upset right now, as pathetic as it sounds. I hate that I feel this way.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I guess I just wasn't ever good enough for him.
Having pangs of pain or regret over the years happens to the best of us. But we learn from the past and keep moving forward.
For his sake, I hope he is healthy and happy today...but I doubt it very much, it's not what he's doing for her, it's what he is not doing for himself...like finding complete recovery and healing and learning to live life on life's terms.
So wipe your tears and keep walking, you are doing just fine and I promise that one day soon you will look back on all this and never regret taking a path of peace, joy, and good health.
Hugs
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Originally Posted by Gettngstronger1 
Jeez, just when I finally thought I had moved on and was doing well. A mutual friend informed me that my addict ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend and it's pretty serious. He's doing all sorts of things for her that he never did for me. My friend is pretty sure that he is still using here and there, but his life has somehow gotten back on track somewhat, regardless of this. She knows nothing about the new girlfriend and I really don't care to know anything. But it sounds like he's happy, and he's doing all kinds of things for her that he never did for me. I guess I just wasn't ever good enough for him. It's bothering me way more than I ever thought it would. More than that, it's bothering me that it's bothering me! This may sound selfish and immature, but it seems really unfair that he moved on first and found someone, and was able to forget me so easily after everything we went through together. And I'm still here trying to put my life back together, unable to even think about dating again, more than a year after we broke up. What is wrong with me?? Has anyone else been through something like this? I can't believe how upset I am about it, I don't understand it because I honestly thought I was in a much better place and had finally left all of that in the past. If anyone can offer some advice or words of wisdom, I would greatly appreciate it. Please be kind, I'm really upset right now, as pathetic as it sounds. I hate that I feel this way.
You - on the other hand- don't have to deal with that!
Also, you said you are trying to put your life together. It may still be tough going- but YOU are trying and it seems likely, from your description, that HE is not.
It is normal to miss someone who was so important to us. But IMO we have to work to put them behind us, and leave just the occasional sad/what if thoughts in for a moment when they occur, then dismiss them. Sit through the feelings, so to speak, as we learn in AA.
Be grateful you are not with him for all the BAD things he did. You can't control him, you can't cure him...you can only "do you." as I like to say.
Keep going, you can make your life and yourself whole. Only you can do that.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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^^^^^^^ everything that Ann wrote
I think this happens when you are involved with someone who just isn't able to be good for a relationship. And never envy, things always look better on the outside. Further proof that you made an excellent decision.
My ex-husband did this with his gf after we divorced. And it's ok, it became his legacy.
They both put each other thru hell until he died.
I hope that you are able to pick yourself up, brush it off, chin up. It's your character that will always be respected. I do understand, because I've been there and I never wanted to feel bitter or to turn it in on myself. You can do this !
It takes a lot of strength but you are here and that's a wonderful accomplishment.
Hugs, Joie
I think this happens when you are involved with someone who just isn't able to be good for a relationship. And never envy, things always look better on the outside. Further proof that you made an excellent decision.
My ex-husband did this with his gf after we divorced. And it's ok, it became his legacy.
They both put each other thru hell until he died.
I hope that you are able to pick yourself up, brush it off, chin up. It's your character that will always be respected. I do understand, because I've been there and I never wanted to feel bitter or to turn it in on myself. You can do this !
It takes a lot of strength but you are here and that's a wonderful accomplishment.
Hugs, Joie
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Gs,
I love your name, and yes you are getting stronger.
I know it is so painful. You might not understand this now, but it is very common for addicts to find another enabler very quickly after break ups. They need help to facilitate their addict when they are alone. So they find another victim.
Life is not so pretty for an addict, go and read their forums and see how they struggle mentally and physically. Be grateful that you are not the victim, you are in recovery. You might take some solice in knowing he was a train wreck with you (that's why you got out of the relationship) and he will be a train wreck without you. His life is not a bed of roses like we imagine.
Sending hugs my friend, that you can find some peace today!!
I love your name, and yes you are getting stronger.
I know it is so painful. You might not understand this now, but it is very common for addicts to find another enabler very quickly after break ups. They need help to facilitate their addict when they are alone. So they find another victim.
Life is not so pretty for an addict, go and read their forums and see how they struggle mentally and physically. Be grateful that you are not the victim, you are in recovery. You might take some solice in knowing he was a train wreck with you (that's why you got out of the relationship) and he will be a train wreck without you. His life is not a bed of roses like we imagine.
Sending hugs my friend, that you can find some peace today!!
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Sounds to me like he's putting more effort into convincing her he's recovered than he is his recovery. C'mon- he's still using! Addicts can't just start using in moderation. I don't know your story, but I'm guessing he did a fine job of convincing you he was only using occasionally, too. This poor girl's in for a world of hurt. Addiction is a downward spiral, and he's further down starting off with her than he was with you. Pity her! Or better yet, do your best not to give it another thought. Fill up your calendar with anything and everything that will take your mind off of this. And be sure that many of these events aid in your own recovery! Your hard work will pay off.
Blessings.
Blessings.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Codependents mourn, addicts replace.
Right now she's going through the loveathon stage, where he's putting on his best behavior and setting her up...then the erosion will start.
She'll be going through what you went through soon enough and hopefully, like you, she'll be smart enough to walk away from it.
You've escaped from a burning building...maybe it doesn't make much sense to be jealous of someone who's walking into it?
Right now she's going through the loveathon stage, where he's putting on his best behavior and setting her up...then the erosion will start.
She'll be going through what you went through soon enough and hopefully, like you, she'll be smart enough to walk away from it.
You've escaped from a burning building...maybe it doesn't make much sense to be jealous of someone who's walking into it?
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Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
ok, so all you really know, sort of, from a third party who doesn't even KNOW that much, is that your EX has a new flame. all the rest - how "well" he is supposedly doing, how "well" he is supposedly treating her, all of that is conjecture and hearsay.
first thing i would do is tell "friend" that you don't want or need any more updates. they serve no good purpose.
second scrub that "not good enough for him" thought out of your head. different people, different time, different place.
first thing i would do is tell "friend" that you don't want or need any more updates. they serve no good purpose.
second scrub that "not good enough for him" thought out of your head. different people, different time, different place.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I have recently been through something very similar. A few months ago, i found out my stbxh was involved with another woman. The first 24 hours it really hurt me and I was shocked that I would feel this way. To make matters worse, he talked so hateful to me. He was cold, abrupt and rude. I was crushed. After all, wasn't I the one that stood by him, tried to help him, blah, blah, blah, I wasn't the one who destroyed our marriage....was my unhealthy thinking at the time.
I know he isn't clean and sober....and she, like me, is just another person for him to use and to help his addiction to thrive. Because that is how addicts operate. It took a couple of days to get my thinking straight again. Now, all I can think is "good luck to her....she is going to need it." In fact, I feel kind of sorry for her.
I know it's easy to fantasize how wonderful things may between them. But that's just not the reality of it. Addicts make terrible partners. They con, manipulate, lie and use anyone that will let them. Thankfully, I don't have to deal with his toxic ways any more.
Lastly, I haven't moved on to another relationship either. I am taking this time to heal, grow, and learn about and love myself.
Who are the real winners here?
I know he isn't clean and sober....and she, like me, is just another person for him to use and to help his addiction to thrive. Because that is how addicts operate. It took a couple of days to get my thinking straight again. Now, all I can think is "good luck to her....she is going to need it." In fact, I feel kind of sorry for her.
I know it's easy to fantasize how wonderful things may between them. But that's just not the reality of it. Addicts make terrible partners. They con, manipulate, lie and use anyone that will let them. Thankfully, I don't have to deal with his toxic ways any more.
Lastly, I haven't moved on to another relationship either. I am taking this time to heal, grow, and learn about and love myself.
Who are the real winners here?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Originally Posted by LoveMeNow
Who are the real winners here?
Thinking back, my son always had a gf and for some sick reason he always kept his most recent past gf hanging, as backup I think. He just HAD do be in a relationship and sadly these poor ladies just fell for his lines and his good looks and totally missed all the red flags. He worked harder on making sure he had a girlfriend than he ever did on his recovery...and to this day he is still lost in his addiction somewhere.
I share this as an example of how things are rarely as lovely as they appear. I cheer every lady on who walks from this kind of relationship, you are the brave, strong healthy ones. The real winners indeed.
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You're right, Ann. I think it just caught me off guard and made me feel like I so easily replaceable. All this time, I've been questioning whether he really loved me or if it was just the drugs that made him love me. I feel like the answer is clear now. But in time I will get over this, and I know it won't matter anymore. I'm just surprised by how upset I was by the news.
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Actually, I wrote that sentence twice about him doing things that he didn't do for me, twice by mistake lol. What I meant by that is that he apparently has learned to cook, and constantly makes her favorite meals for her. He never did anything like that for me. I won't get into further details than that, but it's those little types of things.
Yes, I have worked very hard to put him and our relationship behind me, and leave it in the past. I recently went out of state with some friends on a vacation, and we stopped in a certain to do a little sightseeing on our trip. It was a city that he and I had talked about traveling to, several times. It pained me greatly at first. I almost turned around and went back to wait in the car. But I didn't. I said No, I can do this. Although I thought of him frequently while sightseeing in this city, and it made me sad that he was not here to share it with me, I still did it. I guess I just wonder how long these types of things are going to sting for me. I feel like it's normal to be bothered by them, over a year after the break up.
And I do try to reflect more on the bad times than the happy times. That seems to help.
Yes, I have worked very hard to put him and our relationship behind me, and leave it in the past. I recently went out of state with some friends on a vacation, and we stopped in a certain to do a little sightseeing on our trip. It was a city that he and I had talked about traveling to, several times. It pained me greatly at first. I almost turned around and went back to wait in the car. But I didn't. I said No, I can do this. Although I thought of him frequently while sightseeing in this city, and it made me sad that he was not here to share it with me, I still did it. I guess I just wonder how long these types of things are going to sting for me. I feel like it's normal to be bothered by them, over a year after the break up.
And I do try to reflect more on the bad times than the happy times. That seems to help.
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Don't underestimate the power of "new".
Even the most incorrigible addict can rise above for a little while to give a good, or better impression.
If you were in a relationship I doubt this would bother you much at. Perhaps its time to test the dating waters and find your own happiness.
Even the most incorrigible addict can rise above for a little while to give a good, or better impression.
If you were in a relationship I doubt this would bother you much at. Perhaps its time to test the dating waters and find your own happiness.
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Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 90
I think everyone has addressed the addict dynamic part of this well, so I'll leave that alone.
As far as things he does for her - like cooking, I'll address that. That's a feeling that almost all of us have had in the past. There are two scenarios that might apply -
As we move from one relationship to the next, we learn some things. We're a little better at romancing - all of us, not just addicts. So, in our second relationship we're better than in our first, but in our third we're better than our second, etc. (If we learn normally. lol)
The other thing is that often what looks like a romantic gesture from the outside is not so much what it seems. I'll admit some personal petty-ness here. I had this co-worker in a different office who would post pictures on facebook of her "just because" flowers and romantic dates... and I was a bit jealous. Until we started working in the same office, I didn't know that she would demand those things from her husband and brow-beat him if she didn't get them.
Whatever is going on, she is not better than you. She doesn't motivate him more. YOU are ENOUGH. And... you are safe from the consequences of addiction.
As far as things he does for her - like cooking, I'll address that. That's a feeling that almost all of us have had in the past. There are two scenarios that might apply -
As we move from one relationship to the next, we learn some things. We're a little better at romancing - all of us, not just addicts. So, in our second relationship we're better than in our first, but in our third we're better than our second, etc. (If we learn normally. lol)
The other thing is that often what looks like a romantic gesture from the outside is not so much what it seems. I'll admit some personal petty-ness here. I had this co-worker in a different office who would post pictures on facebook of her "just because" flowers and romantic dates... and I was a bit jealous. Until we started working in the same office, I didn't know that she would demand those things from her husband and brow-beat him if she didn't get them.
Whatever is going on, she is not better than you. She doesn't motivate him more. YOU are ENOUGH. And... you are safe from the consequences of addiction.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
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Hmmm.
So, maybe he's learning to cook for her...I guess you can be happy you don't have to be a guinea pig for the new kinds of foods he is trying out. Who knows, maybe he's still not a very good cook! Maybe he's cooking, but his dishes are not that tasty yet. That's just one way to look at it.
No amount of learning a new skill erases the fact that he is still using and still in active addiction. It doesn't 'soften' it. It doesn't take away from pre-existing conditions. There's nothing to envy, sister. And much to be thankful for now you are free from that bondage, headache, and heartache. And I agree with others. You do not need or want any 'updates' on how he is doing. What purpose does that serve?
You are emancipated from all that, praise God!
So, maybe he's learning to cook for her...I guess you can be happy you don't have to be a guinea pig for the new kinds of foods he is trying out. Who knows, maybe he's still not a very good cook! Maybe he's cooking, but his dishes are not that tasty yet. That's just one way to look at it.
No amount of learning a new skill erases the fact that he is still using and still in active addiction. It doesn't 'soften' it. It doesn't take away from pre-existing conditions. There's nothing to envy, sister. And much to be thankful for now you are free from that bondage, headache, and heartache. And I agree with others. You do not need or want any 'updates' on how he is doing. What purpose does that serve?
You are emancipated from all that, praise God!
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
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Late to responding to this.
Er, no. If he is still using, his life is not on track.
Well, that's out it starts out. In the beginning of a relationship, things are easy. You go on dates, you make out and fool around, you bang shortly thereafter, and the chemical rush is a drug in-and-of itself. There is nothing in this phase of the relationship that is terribly demanding. So of course he's going to be on his best behavior in this phase.
But what happens when...you know...a situations arises that demands him to be an accountable, responsible partner in a romantic relationship?
I'll tell you what happens: he's not capable of rising to the moment. That's because he is as you've noted still using. And so long as he's still using, he cannot be an accountable, responsible partner in an romantic relationship. That's because he's not accountable nor responsible to himself.
When my AXGF left me, she left me for another addict who was supposedly in recovery. Want to know what I thought. I thought the guy in question did a Thirteenth Step, and as such deserved what was coming to him. I didn't envy him at all.
Ann sometimes mentions the idea of a strangely wrapped gift. If you choose to, you can look at the other woman taking him off your hands as a gift. Because although you're hurting right now, she's really done you a valuable service. Someday soon, you will recognize this, and you will be able to put this behind you. It may not be this week, or this month, but it will happen.
Trust me on this. You'll be fine.
My friend is pretty sure that he is still using here and there, but his life has somehow gotten back on track somewhat, regardless of this.
But it sounds like he's happy, and he's doing all kinds of things for her that he never did for me
But what happens when...you know...a situations arises that demands him to be an accountable, responsible partner in a romantic relationship?
I'll tell you what happens: he's not capable of rising to the moment. That's because he is as you've noted still using. And so long as he's still using, he cannot be an accountable, responsible partner in an romantic relationship. That's because he's not accountable nor responsible to himself.
When my AXGF left me, she left me for another addict who was supposedly in recovery. Want to know what I thought. I thought the guy in question did a Thirteenth Step, and as such deserved what was coming to him. I didn't envy him at all.
Ann sometimes mentions the idea of a strangely wrapped gift. If you choose to, you can look at the other woman taking him off your hands as a gift. Because although you're hurting right now, she's really done you a valuable service. Someday soon, you will recognize this, and you will be able to put this behind you. It may not be this week, or this month, but it will happen.
Trust me on this. You'll be fine.
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JOIE12, you are right, things do tend to look better from the outside than they do on the inside. I'm already feeling better than I was when I first found out. I cried about it for 3 days.
Hechosedrugs, you are correct, he did a more than fine job of convincing me that he was only using occasionally. It was 8 months into our relationship before I started to figure out that something was very wrong. It wasn't even that he told me he was "only using occasionally," he had surgery before I met him, and his doctor prescribed narcotic pain killers which he ended up getting addicted to. So I knew that he was taking pills almost every day, but I knew NOTHING about narcotics and the dangers of them. He said they were prescribed by his doctor to help with the pain from his surgery. And I believed him. After his doctor shut him off, he started buying pills off the streets (behind my back), and then turned to other things when he wasn't able to find pills. It was such a nightmare. I don't know the extent of his usage now, and I can't imagine what he has told his new girlfriend. I don't know a thing about her, and I don't care to know. But you're right, it will definitely be a downward spiral, and I hope she is able to recognize it and get out of it sooner than I did.
Ariesagain, yup, he definitely put on his BEST behavior with me. Since our relationship ended, I have a very strong suspicion that he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder to some extent. He fits the profile of that disorder almost to a T. So the erosion will not take long to start, if he hasn't done anything about that underlying issue in the year that he and I have been broken up... whether he's using or not. And by the way, I LOVED your comment about escaping from a burning building while someone else is walking into it. That really helped to put things into perspective. Thank you.
AnvilheadII, you are right. I was just really stunned. I have told my friends over the past year that I don't want to know anything about him, and I have to say that they have been really good about adhering to my wishes on that. But this friend felt like I should know, because my ex and I have many mutual friends in common, and we sometimes run into each other at parties or events. My friend thought it would be best if I knew this information ahead of time, instead of going to a party or a get together, and finding out by running into him with his arms around his new girlfriend. She really did have my best interests in mind, and I appreciate that.
LoveMeNow, you're right, the new girlfriend is definitely going to need all the good luck that anyone can send her way. And yes, we are the real winners! Looking back, I've had a really good year. I went on a few vacations to places that I wouldn't have gone to if I had still been with him. I've met some great new people. I just needed a few days to deal with this news and process it. Now it's time to start reminding myself of all the good things that have happened since we broke up, and that I really am doing OK.
maia1234, thank you
my ex did jump back into the dating pool VERY quickly after we broke up. But this is the first serious relationship he's had since me.
Ann, thank you for saying that these ladies are the brave, strong, healthy ones. I definitely needed to hear that. I couldn't help but think, when I found out that he has a girlfriend and that they are doing very well, was that I gave up on us too soon. I thought that maybe if I had hung in there with him a little bit longer, we'd have gotten through it and we'd be together and happy now. I know now that's not the case at all.
redatlanta, YES! Addicts definitely rise above at first to give a good impression. That's how he won me over. I appreciate your input, but I am not ready to date yet. I'm still working on myself, and I don't think that I would be good for anyone right now. I'm really not interested in dating at this point. I'm still healing from my past relationship, and right now I'm dubious and skeptical of men, and of relationships in general. I think it would be beneficial for me to stay single for a little while longer, and just continue to work on myself.
WeakGirl, (and you are NOT weak, by the way!) thank you so, so much for saying that she is not better than me. Because that's how I've been feeling for the past 4 days. She must be better than I was, if he's willing to step up and do these little things for her that he never would have thought about even trying to do for me. And yes, I can go to sleep at night and not have to worry about what's going on with him and his addiction, or what's going to happen tomorrow when I wake up. She has that in her future as long as she stays with him, and the poor girl doesn't even realize it yet.
teatreeoil007, you made me laugh! There are few things that are worse in life, than having to eat food that someone cooked for you, not liking it, and feeling like you have to pretend that you do in order to not hurt their feelings!!
Zoso77, jeez you always say the right things in just the right ways. You are right. Once a conflict arises, any type of conflict whatsoever, his true colors are going to come out. He has never dealt with conflicts well at all. He gets extremely defensive and attacks the other person verbally. Nothing is ever his fault. If his new girlfriend is the type of person who doesn't mind being in a relationship where she can't speak honestly about anything negative in the relationship for fear of making him upset and responding very harshly, if she doesn't mind not being able to express an opinion that doesn't match her partner's... then this might be a relationship made in heaven. I'm not that person though. And if he's still throwing drugs into the mix, this poor girl is in for one hell of a ride.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond. I'm sorry I was delayed with my replies. I was away over the weekend, and I was having some trouble trying to access this site from my phone instead of my laptop. I hope everyone is doing well and finding their own peace day by day.
Hechosedrugs, you are correct, he did a more than fine job of convincing me that he was only using occasionally. It was 8 months into our relationship before I started to figure out that something was very wrong. It wasn't even that he told me he was "only using occasionally," he had surgery before I met him, and his doctor prescribed narcotic pain killers which he ended up getting addicted to. So I knew that he was taking pills almost every day, but I knew NOTHING about narcotics and the dangers of them. He said they were prescribed by his doctor to help with the pain from his surgery. And I believed him. After his doctor shut him off, he started buying pills off the streets (behind my back), and then turned to other things when he wasn't able to find pills. It was such a nightmare. I don't know the extent of his usage now, and I can't imagine what he has told his new girlfriend. I don't know a thing about her, and I don't care to know. But you're right, it will definitely be a downward spiral, and I hope she is able to recognize it and get out of it sooner than I did.
Ariesagain, yup, he definitely put on his BEST behavior with me. Since our relationship ended, I have a very strong suspicion that he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder to some extent. He fits the profile of that disorder almost to a T. So the erosion will not take long to start, if he hasn't done anything about that underlying issue in the year that he and I have been broken up... whether he's using or not. And by the way, I LOVED your comment about escaping from a burning building while someone else is walking into it. That really helped to put things into perspective. Thank you.
AnvilheadII, you are right. I was just really stunned. I have told my friends over the past year that I don't want to know anything about him, and I have to say that they have been really good about adhering to my wishes on that. But this friend felt like I should know, because my ex and I have many mutual friends in common, and we sometimes run into each other at parties or events. My friend thought it would be best if I knew this information ahead of time, instead of going to a party or a get together, and finding out by running into him with his arms around his new girlfriend. She really did have my best interests in mind, and I appreciate that.
LoveMeNow, you're right, the new girlfriend is definitely going to need all the good luck that anyone can send her way. And yes, we are the real winners! Looking back, I've had a really good year. I went on a few vacations to places that I wouldn't have gone to if I had still been with him. I've met some great new people. I just needed a few days to deal with this news and process it. Now it's time to start reminding myself of all the good things that have happened since we broke up, and that I really am doing OK.
maia1234, thank you
my ex did jump back into the dating pool VERY quickly after we broke up. But this is the first serious relationship he's had since me.Ann, thank you for saying that these ladies are the brave, strong, healthy ones. I definitely needed to hear that. I couldn't help but think, when I found out that he has a girlfriend and that they are doing very well, was that I gave up on us too soon. I thought that maybe if I had hung in there with him a little bit longer, we'd have gotten through it and we'd be together and happy now. I know now that's not the case at all.
redatlanta, YES! Addicts definitely rise above at first to give a good impression. That's how he won me over. I appreciate your input, but I am not ready to date yet. I'm still working on myself, and I don't think that I would be good for anyone right now. I'm really not interested in dating at this point. I'm still healing from my past relationship, and right now I'm dubious and skeptical of men, and of relationships in general. I think it would be beneficial for me to stay single for a little while longer, and just continue to work on myself.
WeakGirl, (and you are NOT weak, by the way!) thank you so, so much for saying that she is not better than me. Because that's how I've been feeling for the past 4 days. She must be better than I was, if he's willing to step up and do these little things for her that he never would have thought about even trying to do for me. And yes, I can go to sleep at night and not have to worry about what's going on with him and his addiction, or what's going to happen tomorrow when I wake up. She has that in her future as long as she stays with him, and the poor girl doesn't even realize it yet.
teatreeoil007, you made me laugh! There are few things that are worse in life, than having to eat food that someone cooked for you, not liking it, and feeling like you have to pretend that you do in order to not hurt their feelings!!
Zoso77, jeez you always say the right things in just the right ways. You are right. Once a conflict arises, any type of conflict whatsoever, his true colors are going to come out. He has never dealt with conflicts well at all. He gets extremely defensive and attacks the other person verbally. Nothing is ever his fault. If his new girlfriend is the type of person who doesn't mind being in a relationship where she can't speak honestly about anything negative in the relationship for fear of making him upset and responding very harshly, if she doesn't mind not being able to express an opinion that doesn't match her partner's... then this might be a relationship made in heaven. I'm not that person though. And if he's still throwing drugs into the mix, this poor girl is in for one hell of a ride.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond. I'm sorry I was delayed with my replies. I was away over the weekend, and I was having some trouble trying to access this site from my phone instead of my laptop. I hope everyone is doing well and finding their own peace day by day.
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