Prayers

Old 06-08-2016, 04:56 AM
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: NYC area
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This site is a lifeline for me. Yesterday I had a really good cry on the phone with a dear friend who knew some of what's been happening in my house, but not everything. I know I can trust her. I have been there for her when she had some very hard times in her life, and I knew that when I did decide to confide in someone outside the family that she'd be the one. She'd been working in her garden and decided to sit on the patio, take a break and give me a call. I never expected it to be yesterday, but she called and said "how are you?" with such concern in her voice , as though she'd had a premonition that I needed a friend, that it all came tumbling out.

She said all the right things. And when I said that I wanted this to be between us only because I knew that some other people would be judgmental or look at my son (or at us as parents) like we were "less" because of what we're fighting now, she said the absolute best thing -- basically that no one better act like that in front of her or she'd rip them a new one. She understood, she comforted me, she told me she loved me.

I told her that I've been praying so much lately, and that I "talk" to her mother (who I never met), who lived in another state but who died within the past couple of years and who I know was a devout Christian and who prayed and talked to God regularly. I said, why not ask a BFF's mom in heaven to look after this mom's son on earth? That set off her waterworks, and we dubbed our conversation "Crying On Your Patio on a Tuesday Afternoon." So we laughed through tears at that caption. It felt so cathartic to say the things I did, to tell her how scared I am, etc. It was also good to get all the emotion out because a few hours later my son had an appointment with his attorney, and I had to go along because of information and conversations I'd had about the person who'd taken our car. I was glad I let go of all of my "crazy" before going to the lawyer, so I didn't cry there since I was all cried out.

I really do feel grateful whenever any of you reads my posts. I have been trying to help others, too, when I can. I don't really think I'm qualified to give very much advice, since our family is still muddling through and don't have a lot of hindsight wisdom to offer.

One thing that I've noticed is that I'm simply paying attention to the good in every day more. Enjoying a walk, not because it's the "right"healthy thing to do, but because the breeze feels so good on my face. Or looking forward to coloring in the Mandella Coloring Book I recently bought (therapist said it was relaxing and she's right). When my mind is way too busy, I come to this site and play the word games.

Looking forward to receiving my order from St. Patrick's Cathedral. I ordered a rosary (I have not had one since I don't know whatever happened to the one from my First Communion) and I also ordered a "one decade" rosary that you can keep with you easily. Right now I use my fingers to keep count. I really can't wait to have the beads.

Now I guess I should get dressed for work. But I had to check in here first. It's becoming the way I start and end my day.
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