WeakGirl

Just some of the thoughts in my head tonight, how I feel about my brother (who has been an addict since his teens, if I'm honest), and how I've felt about others.

I wish my addict knew how peaceful life could be when you're living the best way you can.

I wish my addict knew that you can enjoy most things even more when you're not using.

I wish my addict knew that you can enjoy hearty belly laughs that brings tears to your eyes without needing to be high.

I wish my addict knew that it wouldn't feel like the police were out to get him if he were living different. I wish he knew how it feels to pull up to a road block without hesitation.

I wish my addict knew that if you face your demons, instead of burying them with substances, they can't chase you anymore.

I wish my addict knew how intelligent, funny and handsome he used to be. I wish he knew he could be that again.

I wish my addict knew how beautiful marriage can be when drugs aren't part of the equation.

I wish my addict knew that his parents sit up at night worrying about him and crying, though he says that they don't care about him.

I wish my addict knew that I would do anything to save him, but I can't.

I wish my addict knew that he is better than drugs, that he is better than alcohol, that he is better than destroying his mind and body.

I wish my addict knew that there is a beautiful world out there, no mind alteration needed.

I wish my addict knew that he's better than being around the people he's around because of his addiction.

I wish my addict knew that there is hope, there is life after drugs.

I wish my addict knew that following the rules of society isn't as bad as he thinks. I wish he knew the rewards of maintaining a job and being healthy.

I wish my addict knew that the extended family he avoids loves him. I wish he knew that at every reunion, every picnic, every holiday, people ask about him and miss him.

I wish my addict knew how to walk away from the things that are slowly killing him.

There are so many things I wish my addict knew. What do you wish your addict knew?

Ann

Beautifully written, Weakgirl.

Dreamcatcher44

I wish my addict knew that there are some choices in life you cant take back and just because ur clean doesnt solve the damage ur disease created while you were using.

I wish my addict saw the world through my eyes and how helpless I felt watching him disappear into his disease and how leaving him to save my own life at the cost of him possibly losing his was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I wish my addict knew what long term stability felt like and how building a life is so much easier when u dont burn it down with every relapse.

Queenbee7

Amazing post..I think you said beautifully what all of us who love an addict would like them to know...

mkr86

Bawling my eyes out reading this a few times over.
I wish he knew all of these things. I wish he could see himself as the man I fell in love with. I wish he knew how to talk about and confront his demons head on.
And I know it's impossible, but I wish I knew how to help him.

WeakGirl

Sending love your way!!!

Thlayli

Everything you said but especially this hits home. It's weird bc he's the finance police during the months that he's sober - working on paying off old debt like a boss (which I love) and being picky about getting cheaper coffee, off-brand food etc (which I don't always love).

Iwishonstars777

Love it!!!
I wish my addict knew how much I love him and want the best for him because I know he can do better than the addicted life.

I wish my addict knew how emotionally and mentally I feel fd up because of all that has happened and the chaos.

Plink

I wish my addict knew that his "Mama" would give up her life if it would mean he would come home again and be the man I knew him to be.........

August252015

Wow. This is so eloquent.

As the alcoholic, I can hear my parents saying these things to me. Now that I am sober I understand these things clearly and (pretty much) believe them about myself. Still working on that totally part, and the regret, shame, what have.

I would add...I hope my [family, parents, friends] know how much I appreciate hearing these things, and that they still believe them after everything I have put them, and myself, through. I hope they know how good it feels to be *back.*

WeakGirl

Oh, how my heart hopes that one day he feels this way. I love him to the moon and back. I do believe in him. There's no one in the world like my big brother.