How can you forget that somebody gave you $100K+ for a down payment?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,235
How can you forget that somebody gave you $100K+ for a down payment?
Just as I suspected, my sister was on a nice campaign. She started visiting my mom more often and even brought her a pastry (for those who know my story, this is a big deal.) My mom started noticing that my sister started leaving things in the house. Anyway she told my dad that she was going to accept the offer on her/ex house, and that she needed to move back in. My dad said yes, without checking with my mom.
He said that it was hard to say no to your own daughter. I said "All you're doing is telling her she doesn't have the strength and the smarts to support herself. She's had at least three years warning that this day would come." I said that all he was doing was passing down the problem to my sister's own daughters, because once mom and dad die, my sister still won't have any idea how to financially support herself. My dad said that he would be dead anyway so he wouldn't have to witness that, and that hopefully her girls would rise up to the occasion. "Ah," I responded, "the kick the can approach." I don't think he was happy with that reply. But I said my peace.
My mom's too tired to fight this, and frankly so am I. I remembered all of you and reminded myself that this was not something I could control, and I am not married to my dad - my mom is and she's still sharp enough to stand her ground. The one boundary that my dad put up was that my sister was not to bring her pothead boyfriend anywhere near the house.
Anyway, to the $100K+. There was a discussion of how my sister and her ex would split the money for the house sale. Apparently it's 50/50, even though my parents contributed a chunk of change to the down payment. My parents asked how come this wasn't considered when they negotiated the house sale proceeds. My sister said she didn't know that they contributed to the down payment.
How in the world could you forget something like that? Hell, if $100K magically appeared in my bank account that would be an event that I would remember for the rest of my life!
He said that it was hard to say no to your own daughter. I said "All you're doing is telling her she doesn't have the strength and the smarts to support herself. She's had at least three years warning that this day would come." I said that all he was doing was passing down the problem to my sister's own daughters, because once mom and dad die, my sister still won't have any idea how to financially support herself. My dad said that he would be dead anyway so he wouldn't have to witness that, and that hopefully her girls would rise up to the occasion. "Ah," I responded, "the kick the can approach." I don't think he was happy with that reply. But I said my peace.
My mom's too tired to fight this, and frankly so am I. I remembered all of you and reminded myself that this was not something I could control, and I am not married to my dad - my mom is and she's still sharp enough to stand her ground. The one boundary that my dad put up was that my sister was not to bring her pothead boyfriend anywhere near the house.
Anyway, to the $100K+. There was a discussion of how my sister and her ex would split the money for the house sale. Apparently it's 50/50, even though my parents contributed a chunk of change to the down payment. My parents asked how come this wasn't considered when they negotiated the house sale proceeds. My sister said she didn't know that they contributed to the down payment.
How in the world could you forget something like that? Hell, if $100K magically appeared in my bank account that would be an event that I would remember for the rest of my life!
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
How in the world could you forget something like that? Hell, if $100K magically appeared in my bank account that would be an event that I would remember for the rest of my life!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
If I had a penny for everything my addict forgot, I'd be a millionaire.
Addicts (unless they are in active recovery for a long time) by their very nature are unreliable.
Remembering things can be inconvenient because it implies responsibility, their brains may be not functioning because of the drugs or the lifestyle effects the drugs have. The list is endless.
Bottom line, you can rely on an addict to be unreliable.
I hope you find some peace for yourself in all this. Golly, it all looks pretty much out of your control.
Prayers,
Addicts (unless they are in active recovery for a long time) by their very nature are unreliable.
Remembering things can be inconvenient because it implies responsibility, their brains may be not functioning because of the drugs or the lifestyle effects the drugs have. The list is endless.
Bottom line, you can rely on an addict to be unreliable.
I hope you find some peace for yourself in all this. Golly, it all looks pretty much out of your control.
Prayers,
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
