SarahBear

Your thoughts??? I'm really iffy on this. Can 2 people that were once drug addicts using together, be friends after a period of soberity?

JOIE12

Usually, they need to remove all previous users from their life, if they are in recovery. I don't see this working. Seems suspicious.

SarahBear

Only time will tell... The one friend has been clean for a few years after getting busted with drugs. She went through a drug court program and meetings to get herself clean. The other friend was in prison for a few years and took substance abuse classes while there. He has stayed clean since although he does drink beer. Although, I don't see them all that much, it's really hard to say whether they're actually staying clean.
My friend hangs around her because he seems to be good friends with her boyfriend. Don't know much about him other than he likes to drink a lot

SarahBear

Would like more opinions please on what you think.

AnvilheadII

perhaps ask in one of the addict forums..........not sure what you are looking for....at best it would be speculation on what MIGHT happen for SOME people down the road.

cynical one

I allow others to choose who they want to be friends with.
It's none of my business.

Ann

I know recovering addicts and alcoholics who have long term recovery an who are married to partners who have the same. They have wonderful relationships today.

Others have been drawn to each other and the relationships failed, often when one relapsed and the other struggled to not go down with them.

There are no guarantees in life, in friendships, in relationships, we each have to do the best we can as we go.

I know this isn't a solid answer, but it's the best I can do today.

Hugs

thequest

I noticed certain combinations are like fire. Especially male-female if it's not a Bonnie and Clyde type relationship it's dumb and dumber.

Still drinking beer I don't know if I would call that an ex addict. How much beer, does he get drunk, buzzed, just a beer with a meal? Does he bring beer home or go out to a bar-big danger of old friends, drug dealers and too much alcohol around.

I also noticed certain people seen to validate the alkies/addicts by being overly sympathetic or and an enabler out right. Sort of like they recharge the alkies/addicts body to party more or see what they have been missing so to speak.

MissUs2015

If both have stumbled but each have the same definition of recovery as the No. 1 goal for themselves, they might still support each other toward that shared goal. Better that people commit to a shared goal and to help each other up even if that doesn't get done ideally.

Ideally, the goal is no substances. But it's better to commit to stopping meth/heroin/crack without swearing off pot. Not ideal. But better than nothing.

Similarly, the goal is to have only sober friends. However, having friends who are seriously trying as you are beats no friends at all. When all your friends are new friends with new sobrieties that you will be a threat to if you admit backsliding, that can increase the incentive to lie to them, or worse yet, to go back to your comfortable addict buddies/dealers.

I'm not recommending half-measures as a complete solution. I'm just saying that getting to a half-measure is better than no measure at all.

faithnlove13

I am not sure how to answer this but from my own experience and others who have tried this it has always failed but it really just depends on much will power you both have i suppose.

Vale

In my life experience, individuals tend
more to the square of their specific qualities
than the sum. Two timid folks aren't twice
as timid, but rather 4 times..............

This could be problematic should the personalities
tend to the addictive.

Twofish

Hi Sarahbear,
This question is making me think too hard...let me tell you of my daughter.
She's 21, active Meth/Herion user for 2 yrs, except when she is in rehab.
Her BF, 23, is a meth addict, he says just turned into a "functioning Herion" addict.
He overdosed last November, she called me hysterically crying, that after nodding off, she awoke to a purple BF. I told her to hang up and call 911, which she did. By the grace of God, the paramedics gave him 3 shots of Narcan, intubated him and off to the hospital. He's ok. He was lucky he's not dead.
One would think such a "shock" of almost dying, technically dying, they would STOP this and seek recovery....Nope, the next month they were back at it. They prefer Meth and after staying up for days, their roommates said they had to go. Well, the roommates caved and let them stay.
Two weeks ago, after a long Meth binge, they started arguing, texting/telling me how awful they are. Yep, they are toxic to each other, yet they still want to be "together". The roommates have given them til this Sunday to move out. They are getting their own apartment. But they want to stay with me until it's ready...NO WAY IN HE!! Will I let that happen. She's my daughter, but she's also an active addict. I have no control over her addiction, and I learned that the hard way.
So, anyway, I guess until these two have significant sobriety/recovery in, it's not looking too good. I do have hope for them, but I'm not going to watch them die.
Sarah, this doesn't answer your question, it just gives you what I see in my life, very short bursts of sobriety, two ppl that care about each other in a relationship that they don't think they need recovery. So I'll just take care of my son and myself and pray someday that my AD and her BF dig themselves out of this hole and find the strength to embrace their sobriety.
IMHO two addicts will not workout, in love or friendship, unless a ton of recovery time is in and tools are learned.
TF

Hey Vale! Miss you!

CAPTAINZING2000

I'm from a small town in Illinois . By the time I finally reached the doors of AA , there were several people in the rooms I drank an used with. Several more came in after me.

A friend is a person you share common interests in. If, the only thing you shared was drugs and drink, they really wasn't your friend to begin with.

teatreeoil007

I've never experienced that, but recovering addicts are friends quite frequently. I would think they could be helpful and supportive to one another, plus it gives something in common to bond over.

tomsteve

my greatest friend of 30+ years is one ive done some serious drinkin,druggin, and mischief with. he got clean and sober about a year after me.
now our friendship isnt centered around drugs and alcohol.

NoelleR

I just had to give a 'second' to what tomsteve wrote, with two changes...........: change '30+' to '40+,' and change 'he' to 'she.'

(o:

Nelly1

I would say YES it is possible (I know a lot of ex alcoholics ect who are friends and lean on eachother In tough times) but in the beginning NO WAY! They are too fragile, it only takes one ex user to suggest the idea and BOOM both are using again. I think years down the road yes but in early and fragile recovery.... Absolutely not. My cousin and her boyfriend were ex drug addicts who had completely turned the lives around, had great jobs, a beautiful apartment, and both seemed so optimistic about the sober life ahead of them ( this went on for two years ) until one day my cousin came to me crying saying she came home from work and found a needle....... Next thing I knew, she was using again with him for fear of leaving him, it was all she knew and she Thought she needed him to take care of her no matter how insane that seems to us!

glitterdeva

I had drug problem in the past and cleaned up my life due to having children. I had to let go completely of the people I did it with, its been like 10 years. I can tell you that when I tried to have a glass of wine with one of these people, I had that itch - like, wouldn't it be nice to go back in time? I don't know for everyone else, but for me no, I couldn't.

Eauchiche

At this stage in life, I have gotten REALLY picky about who I hang out with. Just because someone is in recovery, does not make them friend material.

Lily1918

And if they couldn't be friends then AA and NA is pointless. Its an individual issuew