In my head is the worst place I can be
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 105
In my head is the worst place I can be
About a month ago, my freshly sober ex boyfriend left me and decided he didn't love me anymore after 6 years. For the most part I feel like I have made progress this last month movin forward and reminding myself of who he is now is not who I fell in love with and he never will be again, but I can't help but constantly play over and over in my head so many questions that I was hoping other family/friends or recoding addicts could answer.
My ex now has a new girl, that before I cut off all contact a few weeks ago he told me was only a friend but I don't believe it. I can't stop asking myself how he could walk away from a 6 year relationship that he adored so easily just to engulf into a new girl.
I also often ask myself how it is so easy for him to just not think about me or contact me or wonder how I am doing. Like I said, I deleted him off social media and cut off all contact so he has no way to tell how I am doing and I don't understand how you just don't bother to wonder about your ex girlfriend of 6 years, especially sober... One would think that would make you wonder more.
I also always envision the day that he does contact me, or comes home for a visit and we run into each other. I am very much a planner and can't decide how I will end up reacting.
Anybody have any helpful insight into these topics?
My ex now has a new girl, that before I cut off all contact a few weeks ago he told me was only a friend but I don't believe it. I can't stop asking myself how he could walk away from a 6 year relationship that he adored so easily just to engulf into a new girl.
I also often ask myself how it is so easy for him to just not think about me or contact me or wonder how I am doing. Like I said, I deleted him off social media and cut off all contact so he has no way to tell how I am doing and I don't understand how you just don't bother to wonder about your ex girlfriend of 6 years, especially sober... One would think that would make you wonder more.
I also always envision the day that he does contact me, or comes home for a visit and we run into each other. I am very much a planner and can't decide how I will end up reacting.
Anybody have any helpful insight into these topics?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
If he is newly sober, he will have a lot of work to do on himself and regardless of what relationship he is in or not, that part doesn't change.
Why he wants to leave the relationship he is in and why he wants to begin a new one is something he will need to sort out himself.
Meanwhile, this may be a good time for you to focus on your own healing, it's painful when a relationship ends...but sometimes it is even more painful for it to continue.
Take good care of yourself, work through your own pain and issues, and one day soon you will see life in a new light, and live it free from addiction of any kind.
Hugs
Why he wants to leave the relationship he is in and why he wants to begin a new one is something he will need to sort out himself.
Meanwhile, this may be a good time for you to focus on your own healing, it's painful when a relationship ends...but sometimes it is even more painful for it to continue.
Take good care of yourself, work through your own pain and issues, and one day soon you will see life in a new light, and live it free from addiction of any kind.
Hugs
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Linzey.....if he has been "sober" for one month....it is safe to say that he doesn't even know himself.....
He is probably, really, a big ball of confusion....roughly, the first two years is considered early recovery.....
Assuming that he has been drinking more than 6yrs., you have never known the "real" him, either....
I know that this is very hard....and, you are still in the early grieving period, yourself.....
I would take Ann's words very much to heart.....
dandylion
He is probably, really, a big ball of confusion....roughly, the first two years is considered early recovery.....
Assuming that he has been drinking more than 6yrs., you have never known the "real" him, either....
I know that this is very hard....and, you are still in the early grieving period, yourself.....
I would take Ann's words very much to heart.....
dandylion
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