Fior

Just thought I'd check in with all of you....

I finally had to get a new job (it turns out, it's a way better job), because I could no longer handle his behavior at work. And I could no longer handle the stories about me that were being fabricated by his new GF (the hostess), or hear stories of him doing shots at the local bar, out with all the people he never would have hung out with before.

But....take care of you first, right?

It brings up a lot of complicated feelings. Feelings I'm struggling with. Sadness, anger, frustration, freedom, a little more sadness...a little more anger....worry...

Anyway, thought I'd share...

zoso77

In other words, you're human.

Sometimes we're confronted with decisions that are incredibly difficult to make. But we have to make them for our own sake. And that's what you did by getting the hell out of there. Remember: it's not your business what others think of you. If the new girlfriend wants to misbehave, that's on her.

As far as he goes...screw 'im.

Take care of you.

Priscilla84

I'm SO glad you got a new job (and a better one)! It would have made it really hard to keep having to see him all the time. Congrats!

AnvilheadII

very courageous steps!!! good for you.

PuzzledHeart

A dear friend and I have a mantra: "Screw it. F$#K it. Who cares?!"

We usually say it when somebody is talking BS about either him or me or both. It is to be said with lighthearted amusement, and is sometimes punctuated with a hand smack on the coffee table. I grant this phrase to you. Say it as many times as you wish.

You have a way better job and you're on your way to a way better life. I'm glad you put your bitch boots on and hightailed it out of there!

Fior

Thanks all. And yeah, I'm human....sometimes wish I weren't. :/

I think the hardest thing here is not wishing things were different. I certainly didn't want to leave my job this way.

And in a way, it's like we're breaking up all over again. I will never see him again. And while that's probably a good thing, it does bring up some feelings of loss. Which are just, well, weird. You'd think that at this point I'd be well into the idea of I don't want to allow this person/type of behavior into my life.

And of course I'm wondering if I'll see him or hear from him again (sometimes I get caught in my own existential loops)....or if my departure will affect him at all. In the end, none of that matters, nothing I say or do will affect his behavior, and I know this, but we all want to be missed.

So yeah. Feelings. Woof.

Jorgenss

You will most likely see and hear from him again. Taking care of you and living your life will look great on you when that time comes.

Lolo85

Sending hugs your way.

I'm sorry you had to leave a job you didn't want to, but I imagine it will be nice and a relief to walk into work without running into him or hearing stories about him. You're so right, it is a loss and now the grieving process begins... This is by far the hardest part (in my opinion), but also the biggest step in the right direction of taking your life back and focusing on your wellbeing.