Who are they???!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 89
Who are they???!!
Who do they think they are???!!!!
Who are these people who think they have a right to ggive drugs to someone and ruin their family, their life, their future!!! I'm so hurt right now thinking about it. I know it was his choice to do the drugs but had it not been for the other people.....
Who are they to decide that they will take over someone else's choices in life? Don't they have feelings don't they have morals?
I no the answer to these questions- i'm just venting. Sorry
Who are these people who think they have a right to ggive drugs to someone and ruin their family, their life, their future!!! I'm so hurt right now thinking about it. I know it was his choice to do the drugs but had it not been for the other people.....
Who are they to decide that they will take over someone else's choices in life? Don't they have feelings don't they have morals?
I no the answer to these questions- i'm just venting. Sorry
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
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SorroW...
It's OK to vent. I think all the stuff you're feeling is part of the process. It helps to try to remember that he, and he alone, is responsible for his choices. Someday this thought will be second nature. In the meantime, do your best to cope, OK?
It's OK to vent. I think all the stuff you're feeling is part of the process. It helps to try to remember that he, and he alone, is responsible for his choices. Someday this thought will be second nature. In the meantime, do your best to cope, OK?
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 39
Triggers suck! Yes its individuals choice to use, yet they have a major weakness and temptation is hard even impossible for our addicts at times. I have a hard time with abf's ex wife, as she essentially is what lead him to relapse. She had relapsed and made it known to him asked him for help. He went to dealers house an old 'friend' and asked him to please turn his wife (still married at the time but separated) away. She manipulated him and told him how she wished he was using with her to have that experience they never had, sickening, manipulative woman. A week later my bf was mia for a week, turns out he was in a motel using with her. 5 years of sobriety in the wind. He used meth from end of Feb last year with her til she was able to recover in her own once she realized he was not going to get back with her at all, was plain and simply using with her, as her home (with her parents) was an enabling environment/allowed it. He continued to use and couldn't shake it like she had. Which makes me sick as she lead him back into hell, yes he didn't have to take that first shot but she manipulated his vulnerability/weakness to the core. He was left struggling to gain sobriety every few days. Thank goodness our addicts are now in sobriety! Hugs! Vent all you need.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 214
Ive had the same type of thoughts about my husbands doctors. I know they are not dealers, and began by treating very real problems. With street drugs the ring of accessories to drug use only widens and is so much more dark. They are responsible for that first time, but dealers, using friends, they all contribute, influence, add pressure and make it easy to become addicted. Hopefully those people will all be removed from his life and your thoughts soon.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 103
I have many of the same thoughts. I have an almost rage toward my abf's "friend." Before I knew the extent of his addiction, I thought abf just preferred to hang out with him, more than me. I now realize this "friend" was just the guy who got him the goods (a go-between, not necessarily a dealer, is what abf would say, like that makes it better) and used with him. I have fantasies of punching this "friend" in the face ( I am not a violent person, ever). I have fantasies of trashing his property, or calling the cops on him, or showing up at his job and causing a scene. I have never had these sort of fantasies towards another person in my life. Logically, I know its not his fault... he just is an A too. But I sometimes cant stop the rage from building inside. How I hope abf stays away from this guy when he gets out of treatment.
Thanks for letting me vent too.
Thanks for letting me vent too.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by SorroW22 
Who do they think they are???!!!!
Who are these people who think they have a right to ggive drugs to someone and ruin their family, their life, their future!!! I'm so hurt right now thinking about it. I know it was his choice to do the drugs but had it not been for the other people.....
Who are they to decide that they will take over someone else's choices in life? Don't they have feelings don't they have morals?
I no the answer to these questions- i'm just venting. Sorry
Who are these people who think they have a right to ggive drugs to someone and ruin their family, their life, their future!!! I'm so hurt right now thinking about it. I know it was his choice to do the drugs but had it not been for the other people.....
Who are they to decide that they will take over someone else's choices in life? Don't they have feelings don't they have morals?
I no the answer to these questions- i'm just venting. Sorry
I still think this every single day - and I'm new to this addiction thing....I swear to myself if I ever see my husbands "friend" / Dealer I'll kill him, I will take a butter knife and cause him the amount of pain he's causing me.....now will I ever really do that - NO, absolutely not...just a figure of speech, but it tears me to pieces inside knowing that this guy tore my life apart! Who the hell does he think he is.....but he probably for his own good should stay the hell away from me!
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
When I found out that one of my closest friends had gotten hooked on crack, I flipped out and I actually had violent fantasies to go there with a baseball bat and beat the crap out of his dealer.
Anyway being in recovery myself, not that young and not willing to go to jail for bashing in the head of some low life I did the next right thing. I shared about it and vented with a few close friends who also have addicted loved ones and I went no contact with my friend.
I had to put my own well being first. He ultimately lost his apartment and everything but at least I did not go on the crazy train trying to help him.
The thing is that often, the dealers are sick addicts themselves and they deal in order to pay for their own addiction.
Anyway being in recovery myself, not that young and not willing to go to jail for bashing in the head of some low life I did the next right thing. I shared about it and vented with a few close friends who also have addicted loved ones and I went no contact with my friend.
I had to put my own well being first. He ultimately lost his apartment and everything but at least I did not go on the crazy train trying to help him.
The thing is that often, the dealers are sick addicts themselves and they deal in order to pay for their own addiction.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
.I swear to myself if I ever see my husbands "friend" / Dealer I'll kill him, I will take a butter knife and cause him the amount of pain he's causing me
it's not the dealer that is the problem........and the dealer isn't doing this TO you or to cause YOU pain......dealer has a product and SOMEONE will always want it. supply and demand.
there were times our dealers were OUT of product and we went to GREAT lengths to find another source. funny, once we quit for good, we didn't have a problem with anyone dangling a bag of rock in our face..........
it's not the dealer that is the problem........and the dealer isn't doing this TO you or to cause YOU pain......dealer has a product and SOMEONE will always want it. supply and demand.
there were times our dealers were OUT of product and we went to GREAT lengths to find another source. funny, once we quit for good, we didn't have a problem with anyone dangling a bag of rock in our face..........
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 89
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
.I swear to myself if I ever see my husbands "friend" / Dealer I'll kill him, I will take a butter knife and cause him the amount of pain he's causing me it's not the dealer that is the problem........and the dealer isn't doing this TO you or to cause YOU pain......dealer has a product and SOMEONE will always want it. supply and demand. there were times our dealers were OUT of product and we went to GREAT lengths to find another source. funny, once we quit for good, we didn't have a problem with anyone dangling a bag of rock in our face..........
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 574
no one here is upset SorroW22
sometimes words seem that way.
We look to blame someone .. I mean how could anyone do what a dealer does ? The families .. the children .. the money and lives .... pain ...
Like Anvil wrote, they are not doing it to you, your family, etc .. they are just doing it. Ultimately it is the addict that is responsible for using. No one else.
I certainly understand your feelings. I went thru it with my drinking ex husband. I blamed it on his 'friends and coworkers'. I soon realized that he would find new people to hang around if his buddies were somehow removed from his life.
Please check out meetings in your area. They helped me a lot.
Best to you while you go thru this. We are here whenever you need us.
Hugs
Joie
sometimes words seem that way.
We look to blame someone .. I mean how could anyone do what a dealer does ? The families .. the children .. the money and lives .... pain ...
Like Anvil wrote, they are not doing it to you, your family, etc .. they are just doing it. Ultimately it is the addict that is responsible for using. No one else.
I certainly understand your feelings. I went thru it with my drinking ex husband. I blamed it on his 'friends and coworkers'. I soon realized that he would find new people to hang around if his buddies were somehow removed from his life.
Please check out meetings in your area. They helped me a lot.
Best to you while you go thru this. We are here whenever you need us.
Hugs
Joie
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