I have a question
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by Plink 
Can you tell me what active drug addicts do all day, every day? What is their world like?
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 58
When I found out about my husband's use, he rarely hid it from me after that, except when he was supposed to be clean. For him, because I knew, when we had no money, it was the search to get the money..stealing items from the store and pawning them, pawning our valuables, finding someone else who had money and taking them to pick up so they would break him off some, taking a dealer to pick up from another dealer to get some, running for a dealer, flat out begging me for money, doing side projects to get money. After that was the call, the confirmation to meet up..which could take anywhere from 10 minutes to all day. During that waiting period it was hitting up everyone else he knew to find it elsewhere. Gas wasn't really ever an issue. After that it was using immediately after picking up or as soon as he got home. The rest of the day was almost like a normal day, hanging out at the house, making dinner, doing errands, watching movies, playing with our daughter, etc. Other times it consisted of one sided arguments because he was too high to respond with an arguement. The. As soon as it wore off, he'd use again. And repeat. When he began IV, I knew. And I'd rather of known than not. I was an enabler because I believed If I didn't give him the money, he'd be gone all day doing illegal stuff to get money. I figured it was easier to give him my hard earned money than for him to get caught doing illegal stuff. He'd make the call, leave, pick up, come home and use and then went on about our day, just like a normal day doing whatever it was. I think there's a stigma that addicts sit around and do nothing all day long. Partially true, however my husband was different. He used to function. However, at times, the abuse became abuse if that makes sense. He would nod off and be a bump on a log for a few hours while I went about my day around him..mostly yelling, screaming and arguing to the wall. When he was using meth..that's another story. We had people in and out of the house, he was always kept busy tinkering with something or another and would..not..shutup..! Doors would open and close more times in a minute I don't know what he was doing! Normal family hours became 24 hours. The house became a disaster between him and the people that came through. Ugh, what a rough and emotional time in my life.
However, that was my situation.
However, that was my situation.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 46
A day in the life of my Ex addict Bf in his beginning use of Oxys when he still had a job to pay for them : he was very hyper active, cleaning the house spotless or doing projects in the garage, several trips "to the store" a day, spray painting several pieces of furniture and items, yardwork, washing the cars, always on the go, and unbeknownst to me getting all this energy from smoking oxys in the basement on and off all day. At this point we got along great, he was home with me every night and I attributed his activity to just him feeling happy and being energetic due to smoking less weed.
As his use progressed and he lost his job: Lying, taking household items of ours from the house and pawning them thinking he could get them back, stealing money from me and family, telling me he was on jobs at labor ready all day while really spending all day on spending sprees stealing expensive purses and clothing to trade to dealers, figuring out my schedule for the day so he could plan his time out and how he could use without me in his way spoiling his high or noticing he is high, getting more groggy and sleepy all the time, spending more and more time on the couch literally on his back all the time watching T.V. , getting more angry and defensive all the time, not wanting to do things together anymore so he could spend more time with his drug, he was still present but not really all there and not engaging in life. Started spending a lot of time throwing up or in bed sick all the time. Sleeping in all day. Didn't seem to realize he said he had a "flu bug" every single week!!! A lot of crying and emotional breakdowns about wanting to stop but not being able to. Fighting and arguing with me.
As use progressed to IV Heroin: Driving different cars from dealers to get things done, stealing from anyone and everyone, manipulating people to give him hundreds of dollars to hook them up with items they "order" to be stolen and never returning with there money or items, stealing sprees all day and meeting people in parking lots. Started spending a lot of time in the bathroom, visibly nodding out all the time, and would go missing for hours and hours with no explanation. As of recently, avoiding everybody and likes to be alone when high, spending more and more time at casino where he seems to have good luck and helps feed his habit, scratching lottery tickets, and is now missing with no contact with family or me for over 3 weeks. Just lost.
As his use progressed and he lost his job: Lying, taking household items of ours from the house and pawning them thinking he could get them back, stealing money from me and family, telling me he was on jobs at labor ready all day while really spending all day on spending sprees stealing expensive purses and clothing to trade to dealers, figuring out my schedule for the day so he could plan his time out and how he could use without me in his way spoiling his high or noticing he is high, getting more groggy and sleepy all the time, spending more and more time on the couch literally on his back all the time watching T.V. , getting more angry and defensive all the time, not wanting to do things together anymore so he could spend more time with his drug, he was still present but not really all there and not engaging in life. Started spending a lot of time throwing up or in bed sick all the time. Sleeping in all day. Didn't seem to realize he said he had a "flu bug" every single week!!! A lot of crying and emotional breakdowns about wanting to stop but not being able to. Fighting and arguing with me.
As use progressed to IV Heroin: Driving different cars from dealers to get things done, stealing from anyone and everyone, manipulating people to give him hundreds of dollars to hook them up with items they "order" to be stolen and never returning with there money or items, stealing sprees all day and meeting people in parking lots. Started spending a lot of time in the bathroom, visibly nodding out all the time, and would go missing for hours and hours with no explanation. As of recently, avoiding everybody and likes to be alone when high, spending more and more time at casino where he seems to have good luck and helps feed his habit, scratching lottery tickets, and is now missing with no contact with family or me for over 3 weeks. Just lost.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 574
yes, everything written here ... one goal, every day.
I remember leaving work to drive him to labor ready. He went in and right out the back door, got in a car with his ex gf who was a fellow heroin addict, hung out with her for a couple hours, texting me all the time, saying that there was a lot of paperwork and then an interview and more paperwork, yadda yadda yadda.
Eventually he got in the car, happy as could be. Those lies and deceitful events, cause scars. That will hurt forever.
His forever ended this past spring. Mine will live on until I can let them go.
Never an addict in my life again.
I remember leaving work to drive him to labor ready. He went in and right out the back door, got in a car with his ex gf who was a fellow heroin addict, hung out with her for a couple hours, texting me all the time, saying that there was a lot of paperwork and then an interview and more paperwork, yadda yadda yadda.
Eventually he got in the car, happy as could be. Those lies and deceitful events, cause scars. That will hurt forever.
His forever ended this past spring. Mine will live on until I can let them go.
Never an addict in my life again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 68
Thank you all for the replies. I was just curious because I have not had any contact with adult son for about a month now. After coming out of a very short Rehab he contacted me that he needed some one to talk to. He said "they" were looking for him again. His car had broke down and he had no place to go.
By then and his badgering me over the phone, I had enough and started to cry and told him it wasn't my fault, I didn't do this and that I couldn't live like this anymore! He hung up on me. He called me back and I did not pick up.
So, now I do not know where he is. If he has a place to stay, food to eat.
I know he is an adult but, it still breaks my heart to know he is living this life and I can not help him at all!!!
By then and his badgering me over the phone, I had enough and started to cry and told him it wasn't my fault, I didn't do this and that I couldn't live like this anymore! He hung up on me. He called me back and I did not pick up.
So, now I do not know where he is. If he has a place to stay, food to eat.
I know he is an adult but, it still breaks my heart to know he is living this life and I can not help him at all!!!
Wishes for strength and peace for you, and hoping that your son will find a safe path.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 635
Originally Posted by uncaged
A day in the life of my Ex addict Bf in his beginning use of Oxys when he still had a job to pay for them : he was very hyper active, cleaning the house spotless or doing projects in the garage, several trips "to the store" a day, spray painting several pieces of furniture and items, yardwork, washing the cars, always on the go, and unbeknownst to me getting all this energy from smoking oxys in the basement on and off all day. At this point we got along great, he was home with me every night and I attributed his activity to just him feeling happy and being energetic due to smoking less weed.
As his use progressed and he lost his job: Lying, taking household items of ours from the house and pawning them thinking he could get them back, stealing money from me and family, telling me he was on jobs at labor ready all day while really spending all day on spending sprees stealing expensive purses and clothing to trade to dealers, figuring out my schedule for the day so he could plan his time out and how he could use without me in his way spoiling his high or noticing he is high, getting more groggy and sleepy all the time, spending more and more time on the couch literally on his back all the time watching T.V. , getting more angry and defensive all the time, not wanting to do things together anymore so he could spend more time with his drug, he was still present but not really all there and not engaging in life. Started spending a lot of time throwing up or in bed sick all the time. Sleeping in all day. Didn't seem to realize he said he had a "flu bug" every single week!!! A lot of crying and emotional breakdowns about wanting to stop but not being able to. Fighting and arguing with me.
As use progressed to IV Heroin: Driving different cars from dealers to get things done, stealing from anyone and everyone, manipulating people to give him hundreds of dollars to hook them up with items they "order" to be stolen and never returning with there money or items, stealing sprees all day and meeting people in parking lots. Started spending a lot of time in the bathroom, visibly nodding out all the time, and would go missing for hours and hours with no explanation. As of recently, avoiding everybody and likes to be alone when high, spending more and more time at casino where he seems to have good luck and helps feed his habit, scratching lottery tickets, and is now missing with no contact with family or me for over 3 weeks. Just lost.
As his use progressed and he lost his job: Lying, taking household items of ours from the house and pawning them thinking he could get them back, stealing money from me and family, telling me he was on jobs at labor ready all day while really spending all day on spending sprees stealing expensive purses and clothing to trade to dealers, figuring out my schedule for the day so he could plan his time out and how he could use without me in his way spoiling his high or noticing he is high, getting more groggy and sleepy all the time, spending more and more time on the couch literally on his back all the time watching T.V. , getting more angry and defensive all the time, not wanting to do things together anymore so he could spend more time with his drug, he was still present but not really all there and not engaging in life. Started spending a lot of time throwing up or in bed sick all the time. Sleeping in all day. Didn't seem to realize he said he had a "flu bug" every single week!!! A lot of crying and emotional breakdowns about wanting to stop but not being able to. Fighting and arguing with me.
As use progressed to IV Heroin: Driving different cars from dealers to get things done, stealing from anyone and everyone, manipulating people to give him hundreds of dollars to hook them up with items they "order" to be stolen and never returning with there money or items, stealing sprees all day and meeting people in parking lots. Started spending a lot of time in the bathroom, visibly nodding out all the time, and would go missing for hours and hours with no explanation. As of recently, avoiding everybody and likes to be alone when high, spending more and more time at casino where he seems to have good luck and helps feed his habit, scratching lottery tickets, and is now missing with no contact with family or me for over 3 weeks. Just lost.
Still Standing
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
Drug addiction and the effects thereof are Always Progressive just like uncaged so completely described. I know this from my experience with my grown son who has been an addict/alcoholic for 20 yrs now and from listening to others experiences with their addict loved ones. Never be fooled, this will be the outcome always unless the user is determined to get into recovery and work their program with everything they've got.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 635
Uncaged-
Did you ever find out what the "trips to the store" were? Meeting with the dealer, I would imagine, but I'm curious anyhow.
One thing I noticed with my soon to be ex was that he would go to the store for something small, say bananas, but would end up spending $20-$40. I suppose he was getting cash back.
Did you ever find out what the "trips to the store" were? Meeting with the dealer, I would imagine, but I'm curious anyhow.
One thing I noticed with my soon to be ex was that he would go to the store for something small, say bananas, but would end up spending $20-$40. I suppose he was getting cash back.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 46
Hechosedrugs-
I haven't been here for awhile and I noticed your question.
His frequent trips to the store at first were to meet his first dealer/drug buddy that was one of our neighbors that he first started getting oxys from. He would always be right back. Once I knew about his use and it progressed to heroin he would literally say he is running down the street to the store real quick and he wouldn't return until way later or the next day.
I haven't been here for awhile and I noticed your question.
His frequent trips to the store at first were to meet his first dealer/drug buddy that was one of our neighbors that he first started getting oxys from. He would always be right back. Once I knew about his use and it progressed to heroin he would literally say he is running down the street to the store real quick and he wouldn't return until way later or the next day.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 48
Originally Posted by uncaged
A day in the life of my Ex addict Bf in his beginning use of Oxys when he still had a job to pay for them : he was very hyper active, cleaning the house spotless or doing projects in the garage, several trips "to the store" a day, spray painting several pieces of furniture and items, yardwork, washing the cars, always on the go, and unbeknownst to me getting all this energy from smoking oxys in the basement on and off all day. At this point we got along great, he was home with me every night and I attributed his activity to just him feeling happy and being energetic due to smoking less weed.
As his use progressed and he lost his job: Lying, taking household items of ours from the house and pawning them thinking he could get them back, stealing money from me and family, telling me he was on jobs at labor ready all day while really spending all day on spending sprees stealing expensive purses and clothing to trade to dealers, figuring out my schedule for the day so he could plan his time out and how he could use without me in his way spoiling his high or noticing he is high, getting more groggy and sleepy all the time, spending more and more time on the couch literally on his back all the time watching T.V. , getting more angry and defensive all the time, not wanting to do things together anymore so he could spend more time with his drug, he was still present but not really all there and not engaging in life. Started spending a lot of time throwing up or in bed sick all the time. Sleeping in all day. Didn't seem to realize he said he had a "flu bug" every single week!!! A lot of crying and emotional breakdowns about wanting to stop but not being able to. Fighting and arguing with me.
As use progressed to IV Heroin: Driving different cars from dealers to get things done, stealing from anyone and everyone, manipulating people to give him hundreds of dollars to hook them up with items they "order" to be stolen and never returning with there money or items, stealing sprees all day and meeting people in parking lots. Started spending a lot of time in the bathroom, visibly nodding out all the time, and would go missing for hours and hours with no explanation. As of recently, avoiding everybody and likes to be alone when high, spending more and more time at casino where he seems to have good luck and helps feed his habit, scratching lottery tickets, and is now missing with no contact with family or me for over 3 weeks. Just lost.
As his use progressed and he lost his job: Lying, taking household items of ours from the house and pawning them thinking he could get them back, stealing money from me and family, telling me he was on jobs at labor ready all day while really spending all day on spending sprees stealing expensive purses and clothing to trade to dealers, figuring out my schedule for the day so he could plan his time out and how he could use without me in his way spoiling his high or noticing he is high, getting more groggy and sleepy all the time, spending more and more time on the couch literally on his back all the time watching T.V. , getting more angry and defensive all the time, not wanting to do things together anymore so he could spend more time with his drug, he was still present but not really all there and not engaging in life. Started spending a lot of time throwing up or in bed sick all the time. Sleeping in all day. Didn't seem to realize he said he had a "flu bug" every single week!!! A lot of crying and emotional breakdowns about wanting to stop but not being able to. Fighting and arguing with me.
As use progressed to IV Heroin: Driving different cars from dealers to get things done, stealing from anyone and everyone, manipulating people to give him hundreds of dollars to hook them up with items they "order" to be stolen and never returning with there money or items, stealing sprees all day and meeting people in parking lots. Started spending a lot of time in the bathroom, visibly nodding out all the time, and would go missing for hours and hours with no explanation. As of recently, avoiding everybody and likes to be alone when high, spending more and more time at casino where he seems to have good luck and helps feed his habit, scratching lottery tickets, and is now missing with no contact with family or me for over 3 weeks. Just lost.
She was also always driving to some appt.; hours on the road and in traffic supposedly; always going to the pharmacy supposedly; would text me to tell me so. Maybe part of that was true. But it sure seemed to take her a long time to get from appt to appt. in the afternoons after work.
I haven't had direct contact with her in 3.5 months, but I suspect she's at the point of being reprimanded by her bosses, three and half years into being on oxys for a neck issue. Maybe she's lucky and can still function in her work. I assume she's addicted and has likely relapsed; have no clue. But all this sounds so familiar.
Very sad.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 574
Though I do not watch TV, I found 'Nurse Jackie' on Netflix as a friend of mine was watching it when I stopped over one day.
Watching it is a painful memory but a great way for people to see the progression of addiction. Things in hospitals are not really as portrayed on TV, but you can take from the season to season stories - what you wish and leave the rest.
Addicts don't always accomplish much which is why they need someone else who is grounded and responsible and real.
Watching it is a painful memory but a great way for people to see the progression of addiction. Things in hospitals are not really as portrayed on TV, but you can take from the season to season stories - what you wish and leave the rest.
Addicts don't always accomplish much which is why they need someone else who is grounded and responsible and real.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 48
Originally Posted by JOIE12
Though I do not watch TV, I found 'Nurse Jackie' on Netflix as a friend of mine was watching it when I stopped over one day.
Watching it is a painful memory but a great way for people to see the progression of addiction. Things in hospitals are not really as portrayed on TV, but you can take from the season to season stories - what you wish and leave the rest.
Addicts don't always accomplish much which is why they need someone else who is grounded and responsible and real.
Watching it is a painful memory but a great way for people to see the progression of addiction. Things in hospitals are not really as portrayed on TV, but you can take from the season to season stories - what you wish and leave the rest.
Addicts don't always accomplish much which is why they need someone else who is grounded and responsible and real.
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