Fior

So, it's been a bit since I posted...
And thank you all...because I read and re-read all of your responses when I was feeling low.

Things haven't necessarily improved...he continues to bother me and attempt to engage me in our workplace, even though I reminded him that I set clear boundaries that I did not want that. He stated that he wasn't going to respect my boundaries, saying that it was "more complicated than that."
Naturally, he apologized about 10 minutes later (this is his pattern...poke poke poke....apologize)
A week or so ago he texted me late at night, threatening suicide...
He unfriended me on social media, saying he "didn't want to be overly curious where he shouldn't be..."
He's also causing problems at work (I have involved higher ups)...and guests are complaining about his disheveled appearance.

And while he looks better (color in his face, eating more, drinking water), his behaviour is just out of control (additionally, I'd like to add that he has moved on to another woman--which is incredibly painful because a 1.5 months ago he told me that he couldn't manage his sobriety and a relationship)....all of which, I'm assuming is a response to my drawing boundaries and not engaging.

Does anyone else have a similar experience with this? And what did you do? How did you handle it? And how did you handle the pain and the fallout of setting boundaries with someone you care about?

zoso77

So you work at the same place, he's stated that he won't respect your boundaries in the office, and then he threatens suicide even though he's moved onto another woman?

Forgive me for what most may consider an ice cold response.

This guy is about 5 fries shy of a Happy Meal and is not to be trusted under any circumstances. Given the fact he's projecting suicidal ideation AND you work in the same place, I strongly encourage you to consult with your human resources rep as to what your options are. You need to protect yourself. I would change your phone numbers. I would block him from emailing you. If you choose not to do any of these things and he again threatens suicide, call 911 and let the authorities deal with him.

When workplace relationships end, it can be quite challenging. I had to go through it almost 6 years ago (long story --- she's not my AXGF but the girl before my AXGF). And the way I've chosen to deal with that situation is to completely ice her. Given her character and the way she conducted herself, there are no circumstances where that will ever change. I've blocked her on IM. If we see each other, I blow her off. If I have to deal with her professionally, I do so over email, and I keep the communication short and to the point. And if I feel badly about any of it, neither my face nor my actions will betray that.

Your situation is different because your AXBF is an addict behaving like an addict, whereas my ex is simply crackers. Your situation is more serious. Protect yourself. It will be difficult. It will suck, and it will hurt. I wish it were otherwise, but it is what it is.