Pregnant and using
Pregnant and using
Hello,
My daughter is a few months pregnant and is smoking, using 5 mg of Xanax a day, Methadone and smoking pot. I told her to start cutting her doses down until she's completely off of them, but she says her doctor says it's better for the baby to keep using drugs than to withdrawal from them. I said that if she cuts the doses down a little at a time, there shouldn't be a big withdrawal. I can't for the life of me imagine an OB/GYN telling their patient that Methadone and Xanax is ok for an unborn child. I think she just doesn't want to get sober, not even for her unborn baby, and it's very upsetting to me. I fear that this baby will have long term damage at worst and short term damage at best. If pregnancy isn't a reason to get sober, what is? Any input from others who know of babies born to drug addicted mothers would be greatly appreciated.
My daughter is a few months pregnant and is smoking, using 5 mg of Xanax a day, Methadone and smoking pot. I told her to start cutting her doses down until she's completely off of them, but she says her doctor says it's better for the baby to keep using drugs than to withdrawal from them. I said that if she cuts the doses down a little at a time, there shouldn't be a big withdrawal. I can't for the life of me imagine an OB/GYN telling their patient that Methadone and Xanax is ok for an unborn child. I think she just doesn't want to get sober, not even for her unborn baby, and it's very upsetting to me. I fear that this baby will have long term damage at worst and short term damage at best. If pregnancy isn't a reason to get sober, what is? Any input from others who know of babies born to drug addicted mothers would be greatly appreciated.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Kitty...
I see this is your first post, so Welcome to the Board. Other members will be by to greet you and offer you support, but until then, here are my thoughts.
What is important for you to understand at this moment is something in active addiction is not going to think rationally, even if, in your daughter's case, she's expecting. No, the primary goal of an addict is to get high, and to hell with the consequences.
As for what to do...it's not often I'm out of my depth here, but this is one of those cases where I don't feel confident sounding an opinion. If your daughter wasn't expecting, I would (correctly) point out there's nothing you can do. But she is, and that brings a whole other host of issues into play. What I will tell you is we have women here that have been in similar spots. When they pipe in, pay attention to what they tell you.
I'm sorry you have to go through this. To read a story like this is heartbreaking. Please keep us posted, and again, Welcome to the Board.
I see this is your first post, so Welcome to the Board. Other members will be by to greet you and offer you support, but until then, here are my thoughts.
What is important for you to understand at this moment is something in active addiction is not going to think rationally, even if, in your daughter's case, she's expecting. No, the primary goal of an addict is to get high, and to hell with the consequences.
As for what to do...it's not often I'm out of my depth here, but this is one of those cases where I don't feel confident sounding an opinion. If your daughter wasn't expecting, I would (correctly) point out there's nothing you can do. But she is, and that brings a whole other host of issues into play. What I will tell you is we have women here that have been in similar spots. When they pipe in, pay attention to what they tell you.
I'm sorry you have to go through this. To read a story like this is heartbreaking. Please keep us posted, and again, Welcome to the Board.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 199
There are too many factors for a non medical professional to tell her what to do. Withdraw is very dangerous even when someone isn't pregnant. The fact that she is pregnant makes the situation even more complicated. Get a second or 3rd medical professionals opinion if there is concern.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
WD while pregnant is usually not recommended. If you stop the drugs, even if you wean off slowly, you will have a high risk of losing the baby and if you don’t you have a high risk of having a baby born addicted to drugs that will have to go through wd.
Now the smoking can go.
Depending on the laws in your state she may also be in jeopardy of losing custody at birth. I can’t see any doctor condoning the pot smoking. I am guessing that the methadone is part of a stay away from other opiates type program?
Sadly this is all very much out of your hands. And what this all is to her … a reason/excuse to keep using and be ok with it or her just following doctor’s orders. Well that isn’t yours either to assign.
I don’t mean to be cold but sadly this is her life. She is and will have to be responsible for the decisions she makes now and in the future. A baby born addicted to drugs has hurdles … but a child reared in a home with active addiction present even if they were not born exposed to drugs have many too. It is a sad reality of addiction …
Be grateful she is getting OBGYN care because most don’t. This can go along way for the unborn baby and give her the tools she will need as an addict to get her life together.
Now the smoking can go.
Depending on the laws in your state she may also be in jeopardy of losing custody at birth. I can’t see any doctor condoning the pot smoking. I am guessing that the methadone is part of a stay away from other opiates type program?
Sadly this is all very much out of your hands. And what this all is to her … a reason/excuse to keep using and be ok with it or her just following doctor’s orders. Well that isn’t yours either to assign.
I don’t mean to be cold but sadly this is her life. She is and will have to be responsible for the decisions she makes now and in the future. A baby born addicted to drugs has hurdles … but a child reared in a home with active addiction present even if they were not born exposed to drugs have many too. It is a sad reality of addiction …
Be grateful she is getting OBGYN care because most don’t. This can go along way for the unborn baby and give her the tools she will need as an addict to get her life together.
Thanks for the responses.
I think I may be bowing out sooner than later. Watching this addiction grow over the years has broken me until I can barely feel anything anymore. The endless pain and crying has worn me out. I finally was able to sleep after years of fighting insomnia, and she sends me a "you're gonna be a grandma" text two weeks ago.
She thinks it's great that she's having a baby with some guy she just met at the methadine clinic. She's been very nasty to me since she met him. I suffer from depression and severe anxiety and can't take on her issues anymore. I'm fighting to just stay alive one more day. I came from a very abusive and neglectful upbringing. I then provided my kids an unstable and unpredictable life. I had hoped that I would have parented better, but I didn't. Now I'm watching the insanity get passed to another generation and I know what it means. It hurts. I wish the cycle would have stopped. I know I made some huge mistakes with my kids and I beat myself up for it for many years. Plus, they remind me of my past and current mistakes on the daily. I always said to myself that I'd be the grandparent that I wasn't as a parent, but she lives on the other coast. This was something that I thought would be special and exciting, but instead I've been crying for two weeks while googling "using drugs while pregnant." In addition, neither her or the baby daddy have jobs, but she knows every government program that there is. It is what it is. I'm choosing to go no contact with her. I have to get my stuff together and just can't take on all of her problems too. I don't have the energy. I have to accept the fact that she may never get well.
I think I may be bowing out sooner than later. Watching this addiction grow over the years has broken me until I can barely feel anything anymore. The endless pain and crying has worn me out. I finally was able to sleep after years of fighting insomnia, and she sends me a "you're gonna be a grandma" text two weeks ago.
She thinks it's great that she's having a baby with some guy she just met at the methadine clinic. She's been very nasty to me since she met him. I suffer from depression and severe anxiety and can't take on her issues anymore. I'm fighting to just stay alive one more day. I came from a very abusive and neglectful upbringing. I then provided my kids an unstable and unpredictable life. I had hoped that I would have parented better, but I didn't. Now I'm watching the insanity get passed to another generation and I know what it means. It hurts. I wish the cycle would have stopped. I know I made some huge mistakes with my kids and I beat myself up for it for many years. Plus, they remind me of my past and current mistakes on the daily. I always said to myself that I'd be the grandparent that I wasn't as a parent, but she lives on the other coast. This was something that I thought would be special and exciting, but instead I've been crying for two weeks while googling "using drugs while pregnant." In addition, neither her or the baby daddy have jobs, but she knows every government program that there is. It is what it is. I'm choosing to go no contact with her. I have to get my stuff together and just can't take on all of her problems too. I don't have the energy. I have to accept the fact that she may never get well.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Hello,
My daughter is a few months pregnant and is smoking, using 5 mg of Xanax a day, Methadone and smoking pot. I told her to start cutting her doses down until she's completely off of them, but she says her doctor says it's better for the baby to keep using drugs than to withdrawal from them. I said that if she cuts the doses down a little at a time, there shouldn't be a big withdrawal. I can't for the life of me imagine an OB/GYN telling their patient that Methadone and Xanax is ok for an unborn child. I think she just doesn't want to get sober, not even for her unborn baby, and it's very upsetting to me. I fear that this baby will have long term damage at worst and short term damage at best. If pregnancy isn't a reason to get sober, what is? Any input from others who know of babies born to drug addicted mothers would be greatly appreciated.
My daughter is a few months pregnant and is smoking, using 5 mg of Xanax a day, Methadone and smoking pot. I told her to start cutting her doses down until she's completely off of them, but she says her doctor says it's better for the baby to keep using drugs than to withdrawal from them. I said that if she cuts the doses down a little at a time, there shouldn't be a big withdrawal. I can't for the life of me imagine an OB/GYN telling their patient that Methadone and Xanax is ok for an unborn child. I think she just doesn't want to get sober, not even for her unborn baby, and it's very upsetting to me. I fear that this baby will have long term damage at worst and short term damage at best. If pregnancy isn't a reason to get sober, what is? Any input from others who know of babies born to drug addicted mothers would be greatly appreciated.
http://www.methadoneandpregnancy.com
In part it says.......................:
"...Methadone treatment for pregnant women has been studied for the past 40 years and is considered the “gold standard” of treatment for pregnant women with opiate use disorder. Most babies born exposed to methadone have withdrawals and the hospital has medications to help the baby stay comfortable and manage withdrawal symptoms. If you stop using opiates suddenly you could miscarry, therefore it’s important to enter treatment if you are using illicit opiates or continue your medication-assisted treatment if you were in treatment when you became pregnant...
Tapering is not recommend while you are pregnant, but you can always talk the medical staff at your treatment center about this issue. Being pregnant can be a very exciting and wonderful experience, but it can also be very stressful and scary. Tapering can add to that stress and some people have urges to use when they taper, even when they aren’t pregnant. Many pregnant patients feel it’s not worth the chance of relapsing, feeling withdrawals, and possibly miscarriage, so they decide to discuss tapering options after they give birth..."
Regarding rhe Xanax and the Marijuana, I'll let someone else chime in.......OR perhaps the doctor really does know best.
(o:
Here's a site regarding Methadone and pregnancy...........:
In part it says.......................:
"...Methadone treatment for pregnant women has been studied for the past 40 years and is considered the “gold standard” of treatment for pregnant women with opiate use disorder. Most babies born exposed to methadone have withdrawals and the hospital has medications to help the baby stay comfortable and manage withdrawal symptoms. If you stop using opiates suddenly you could miscarry, therefore it’s important to enter treatment if you are using illicit opiates or continue your medication-assisted treatment if you were in treatment when you became pregnant...
Tapering is not recommend while you are pregnant, but you can always talk the medical staff at your treatment center about this issue. Being pregnant can be a very exciting and wonderful experience, but it can also be very stressful and scary. Tapering can add to that stress and some people have urges to use when they taper, even when they aren’t pregnant. Many pregnant patients feel it’s not worth the chance of relapsing, feeling withdrawals, and possibly miscarriage, so they decide to discuss tapering options after they give birth..."
Regarding rhe Xanax and the Marijuana, I'll let someone else chime in.......OR perhaps the doctor really does know best.
(o:
In part it says.......................:
"...Methadone treatment for pregnant women has been studied for the past 40 years and is considered the “gold standard” of treatment for pregnant women with opiate use disorder. Most babies born exposed to methadone have withdrawals and the hospital has medications to help the baby stay comfortable and manage withdrawal symptoms. If you stop using opiates suddenly you could miscarry, therefore it’s important to enter treatment if you are using illicit opiates or continue your medication-assisted treatment if you were in treatment when you became pregnant...
Tapering is not recommend while you are pregnant, but you can always talk the medical staff at your treatment center about this issue. Being pregnant can be a very exciting and wonderful experience, but it can also be very stressful and scary. Tapering can add to that stress and some people have urges to use when they taper, even when they aren’t pregnant. Many pregnant patients feel it’s not worth the chance of relapsing, feeling withdrawals, and possibly miscarriage, so they decide to discuss tapering options after they give birth..."
Regarding rhe Xanax and the Marijuana, I'll let someone else chime in.......OR perhaps the doctor really does know best.
(o:
I do not support her having a baby while using, but it's her decision. She's early enough in the pregnancy to utilize other options, but she thinks this baby will bring her the love she missed out on and make the bf love her. I know I can't control her. I'm just venting.
Regarding the knowledge of her alleged "doctor." Everything that comes out of her mouth, I take with a grain of salt. I doubt she's even been to an OB/GYN yet. She frequently lies and minimizes things. I think she got the methadone advice from the methadine clinic doctor or one of her friends and not a high risk OB/GYN. In fact, I'd bet the bank on it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
Kitty,
Welcome to the boards!
Your question is w-a-y above my pay grade.
The only suggestion I would have - since you cannot trust what your daughter tells you (a common affliction with addicts - they lie! basically all of the time especially when drug use is involved).
Could you consult with your own OB/GYN and get their opinion? I know it is not the same as your daughter getting examined by them, but at least it is a start.
Nar-Anon would tell you to drop this subject and mind your own business, but I understand your concern for the innocent unborn child.
Sorry your daughter is putting you through this.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Welcome to the boards!
Your question is w-a-y above my pay grade.
The only suggestion I would have - since you cannot trust what your daughter tells you (a common affliction with addicts - they lie! basically all of the time especially when drug use is involved).
Could you consult with your own OB/GYN and get their opinion? I know it is not the same as your daughter getting examined by them, but at least it is a start.
Nar-Anon would tell you to drop this subject and mind your own business, but I understand your concern for the innocent unborn child.
Sorry your daughter is putting you through this.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Kitty,
Welcome to the boards!
Your question is w-a-y above my pay grade.
The only suggestion I would have - since you cannot trust what your daughter tells you (a common affliction with addicts - they lie! basically all of the time especially when drug use is involved).
Could you consult with your own OB/GYN and get their opinion? I know it is not the same as your daughter getting examined by them, but at least it is a start.
Nar-Anon would tell you to drop this subject and mind your own business, but I understand your concern for the innocent unborn child.
Sorry your daughter is putting you through this.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Welcome to the boards!
Your question is w-a-y above my pay grade.
The only suggestion I would have - since you cannot trust what your daughter tells you (a common affliction with addicts - they lie! basically all of the time especially when drug use is involved).
Could you consult with your own OB/GYN and get their opinion? I know it is not the same as your daughter getting examined by them, but at least it is a start.
Nar-Anon would tell you to drop this subject and mind your own business, but I understand your concern for the innocent unborn child.
Sorry your daughter is putting you through this.
Keep coming back,
Jim
She has qualified for Medicaid, so finding medical professionals will not be an issue, assuming she goes to them. I do believe that she will most likely see an OB/GYN. She said she had an appointment with one a week ago, and yesterday she said her appointment was in a week or two. She contradicts herself which makes me not trust her words. Even if this baby survives this without any long term effects, he/she will still be living in a home with two active addicts. I have to separate myself from this or it will destroy me. I am of no help to her if I'm a hot mess. She caught her bf smoking heroin in her bathroom a month ago while his ten year old was ten feet away, yet can't understand my concerns. Addiction is an ugly, cunning disease that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Well, you could start building your case and try to get custody of your grandchild when it is born, if that is something you are able to do. I know it isn't always an option. My neighbor had to do that with her daughter.
I'm very sorry. This is so very sad.
I'm very sorry. This is so very sad.
I would take care of the baby in a minute, but I have chronic depression and anxiety and just lost my job. I don't know if I'll have a home in the near future, otherwise, I would do everything to take care of this baby until she can get well. My only hope is once she sees her baby, something clicks in her brain that makes her want to get sober.
Hiya Kitty
The one thing I do know from this is that most addicts are liars. I know I did plenty of that whilst drinking.
You know your daughter more than any of us here do and I'm with you when you say you would bet the bank on it.
A mothers instinct is usually pretty spot on.
The issue here is the baby. It sounds like your daughter isn't going to give up her drugs so what can be done to protect this innocent baby?
I'm sure you will get some good answers from women who have had or dealt with this problem themselves.
If it was me and this is my opinion only as I'm not talking from experience....I would have to pull myself back from this situation as nothing you can do or say will make any difference .
But let her know if she really does actively try to quit or cut own the drugs you will be by her side 100% to help her and your grandchild out.
If you suffer anxiety and depression , this will only exacerbate the issue.
Some things we just can't fix as parents and I kno you want this cycle to end, but the ball is in your daughters court.
She has to WANT this.
Maybe take a more active role once the baby is here if she manages to carry full term.
It's really sad , but it is what it is.
I so hope for your daughter , her baby & you that this works out.
Always be there to offer support, just so she knows you still love her but at thebsame time pull back emptionally if you can understand what i mean
Even when we are suffering ourselves we have to put our children first.
Much love to you all xxx
The one thing I do know from this is that most addicts are liars. I know I did plenty of that whilst drinking.
You know your daughter more than any of us here do and I'm with you when you say you would bet the bank on it.
A mothers instinct is usually pretty spot on.
The issue here is the baby. It sounds like your daughter isn't going to give up her drugs so what can be done to protect this innocent baby?
I'm sure you will get some good answers from women who have had or dealt with this problem themselves.
If it was me and this is my opinion only as I'm not talking from experience....I would have to pull myself back from this situation as nothing you can do or say will make any difference .
But let her know if she really does actively try to quit or cut own the drugs you will be by her side 100% to help her and your grandchild out.
If you suffer anxiety and depression , this will only exacerbate the issue.
Some things we just can't fix as parents and I kno you want this cycle to end, but the ball is in your daughters court.
She has to WANT this.
Maybe take a more active role once the baby is here if she manages to carry full term.
It's really sad , but it is what it is.
I so hope for your daughter , her baby & you that this works out.
Always be there to offer support, just so she knows you still love her but at thebsame time pull back emptionally if you can understand what i mean
Even when we are suffering ourselves we have to put our children first.
Much love to you all xxx
Hiya Kitty
The one thing I do know from this is that most addicts are liars. I know I did plenty of that whilst drinking.
You know your daughter more than any of us here do and I'm with you when you say you would bet the bank on it.
A mothers instinct is usually pretty spot on.
The issue here is the baby. It sounds like your daughter isn't going to give up her drugs so what can be done to protect this innocent baby?
I'm sure you will get some good answers from women who have had or dealt with this problem themselves.
If it was me and this is my opinion only as I'm not talking from experience....I would have to pull myself back from this situation as nothing you can do or say will make any difference .
But let her know if she really does actively try to quit or cut own the drugs you will be by her side 100% to help her and your grandchild out.
If you suffer anxiety and depression , this will only exacerbate the issue.
Some things we just can't fix as parents and I kno you want this cycle to end, but the ball is in your daughters court.
She has to WANT this.
Maybe take a more active role once the baby is here if she manages to carry full term.
It's really sad , but it is what it is.
I so hope for your daughter , her baby & you that this works out.
Always be there to offer support, just so she knows you still love her but at thtebsame time pull back emptionally if you can understand what i mean
Even when we are suffering ourselves we have to put our children first.
Much love to you all xxx
The one thing I do know from this is that most addicts are liars. I know I did plenty of that whilst drinking.
You know your daughter more than any of us here do and I'm with you when you say you would bet the bank on it.
A mothers instinct is usually pretty spot on.
The issue here is the baby. It sounds like your daughter isn't going to give up her drugs so what can be done to protect this innocent baby?
I'm sure you will get some good answers from women who have had or dealt with this problem themselves.
If it was me and this is my opinion only as I'm not talking from experience....I would have to pull myself back from this situation as nothing you can do or say will make any difference .
But let her know if she really does actively try to quit or cut own the drugs you will be by her side 100% to help her and your grandchild out.
If you suffer anxiety and depression , this will only exacerbate the issue.
Some things we just can't fix as parents and I kno you want this cycle to end, but the ball is in your daughters court.
She has to WANT this.
Maybe take a more active role once the baby is here if she manages to carry full term.
It's really sad , but it is what it is.
I so hope for your daughter , her baby & you that this works out.
Always be there to offer support, just so she knows you still love her but at thtebsame time pull back emptionally if you can understand what i mean
Even when we are suffering ourselves we have to put our children first.
Much love to you all xxx
Methadone is not the problem here. If she follows her doctor's orders and goes to her methadone clinic regularly and doesn't use other drugs, the baby will very likely be just fine. My RAD was on it her entire pregnancy and her baby had very few signs of withdrawal. Most don't have a problem and don't have developmental issues either. The other risk factors and drug use are a problem, but as you must know by now, you have no control over those. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate already. This may be something you have to give over to your Higher Power. So much is out of our control, especially as parents of addicts. We have another entire layer of "out of control" to deal with! My heart goes out to you and I will keep your daughter in my thoughts, too. One thing I learned during my RAD's pregnancy is that the DHS is on top of these cases! She had social workers, case workers, nurses, and many others keeping track of her during her pregnancy and after. Let professionals deal with her and don't believe everything she says. Xanax and pot are not the same as methadone--she seems to have combined them all to defend it to you. I am pretty sure the comment had to do with the methadone ONLY. That said, try to let it go and take it a day at a time. Thinking of you with sympathy and compassion!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Kitty,
My RAD just came off methadone, had a life threatening car/moped accident, was on many narcotics for pain, had many X-rays then switched to Suboxone, all not knowing she was 12 weeks pregnant.
What helped me support my daughter and relax a bit was knowing that the placenta is a MIGHTY filter and somehow protected the baby (boy).
After the delivery, CPS was right there to take samples of the baby's blood, etc.
The beautiful baby was spared of any withdrawals, he is 10months old, happy and appears to be developing normally.
I am telling you this to give you hope. There's always two sides of the coin.
My RAD is still on Suboxone, tapering slowly. She tells me frequently that she wishes she wasn't an addict (in recovery).
Her Drs insisted she remain on the Suboxone, changed to Subutex once they discovered she was expecting. That was explained to us that she might miscarry if she suddenly stopped and gone into withdrawals.
Kitty, have hope. Go to the OB/GYN appts with your daughter. Ask the questions.
Try, and this is hard, to not let the worry overwhelm you. It is what it is.
I'll pray for you and your daughter and grand child's safe development.
(((Hugs)))
TF
My RAD just came off methadone, had a life threatening car/moped accident, was on many narcotics for pain, had many X-rays then switched to Suboxone, all not knowing she was 12 weeks pregnant.
What helped me support my daughter and relax a bit was knowing that the placenta is a MIGHTY filter and somehow protected the baby (boy).
After the delivery, CPS was right there to take samples of the baby's blood, etc.
The beautiful baby was spared of any withdrawals, he is 10months old, happy and appears to be developing normally.
I am telling you this to give you hope. There's always two sides of the coin.
My RAD is still on Suboxone, tapering slowly. She tells me frequently that she wishes she wasn't an addict (in recovery).
Her Drs insisted she remain on the Suboxone, changed to Subutex once they discovered she was expecting. That was explained to us that she might miscarry if she suddenly stopped and gone into withdrawals.
Kitty, have hope. Go to the OB/GYN appts with your daughter. Ask the questions.
Try, and this is hard, to not let the worry overwhelm you. It is what it is.
I'll pray for you and your daughter and grand child's safe development.
(((Hugs)))
TF
thanks It good to hear from someone who has personal experience with this. I'm pretty sure the MD at the methadone clinic was only referring to Methadone. Although, she's selling me a story that the advice includes benzos. I've read on other forums that one must taper off of benzos. Plus the combination of the two are dangerous for the user, so what is their effect on an unborn baby. I guarantee she will not tell her OB/GYN that she smokes cigarettes, pot and uses a high dose of Xanax. She's very smart and cunning, and knows that information may get children services involved. I know she also dabbles in other street drugs. However, she doesn't admit that to me. Her bf smokes heroin and uses methadone, and God knows what else, and she's not one to say no to a party. Even if the baby comes out healthy, he or she will be living in a home with two active addicts which is just as bad or worse. Between her methadone and Xanax, she nods out all day long. She falls asleep with cigarettes in her hands, burning the sofa and blankets. I have no idea how she'll be equipped to care for a child when she's passed out 24/7. As a mom of two, kids, especially babies, are a LOT of round the clock work. She thinks it's going to be rainbows and unicorns and has no idea what's involved with caring for a baby who can't care for himself.
Methadone is not the problem here. If she follows her doctor's orders and goes to her methadone clinic regularly and doesn't use other drugs, the baby will very likely be just fine. My RAD was on it her entire pregnancy and her baby had very few signs of withdrawal. Most don't have a problem and don't have developmental issues either. The other risk factors and drug use are a problem, but as you must know by now, you have no control over those. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate already. This may be something you have to give over to your Higher Power. So much is out of our control, especially as parents of addicts. We have another entire layer of "out of control" to deal with! My heart goes out to you and I will keep your daughter in my thoughts, too. One thing I learned during my RAD's pregnancy is that the DHS is on top of these cases! She had social workers, case workers, nurses, and many others keeping track of her during her pregnancy and after. Let professionals deal with her and don't believe everything she says. Xanax and pot are not the same as methadone--she seems to have combined them all to defend it to you. I am pretty sure the comment had to do with the methadone ONLY. That said, try to let it go and take it a day at a time. Thinking of you with sympathy and compassion!
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