Soulful

through the valley of shadow and death. First weekend since he went cocaine binging. It's also long weekend and usually on long weekends, he would totally do coke.

He asked me this time to allow him to fight his deamon alone, he wants to do it because he wants to be proud of at least one thing in his life. I guess in a way, that was a small confession of why he was doing coke, without even realizing it was one. He doesn't have a sense of pride in himself, which means showing as much compassion and pride to him as possible would definitely benefit him.

As per my previous post, I am currently working on my Step 1. I know what I have to do, but the strong emotions are very hard to control. I can't stop thinking about what happened last weekend and eventhough he confessed, what if... what if... what if... what if...

What do I do with all these emotions? Keeping myself busy and occupied takes away a little bit. We will be going on a mini trip tomorrow, so I will fully concentrate on having fun as a family. But I need to know what to do with my emotions, because I feel like a ticking bomb of worry and pain and everything else.

Ann

Worry never changed the outcome and it's a wasted emotion that makes us sick. Enjoy your weekend. Wear a mental elastic and each time you begin thinking of him, snap it and say to yourself "I am powerless" and go do something fun.

Hugs