Husband and opiates. Need advice please.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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Husband and opiates. Need advice please.
I don't know when it changed from pain management to physical dependance. But it did. It's only been a month or two since it became a real problem. He would steal my pain meds, to the point that I run out and don't have them when I need them. It's hard for me to understand, because I've taken vicodin off and on for years, but I'm absolutely fine not taking them when I have a week or two of limited pain. I come from a family of addicts,but I've never been down that road. It's strange to me because he wants to stop, my family never even tries.
He came to me on Sunday saying he needs my help. I hadn't yet noticed he was stealing my pills again. We had a long talk and he broke down crying saying he doesn't understand why it is like it is. That he's not normal unless he has pills. But he doesn't want it to be that way. He has severe panic disorder with frequent long lasting panic attacks and severe anxiety. So he won't go to the doctor about it because that's one of his triggers.
Yesterday he came to me again saying he took more on Monday. He says he still wants me to help him get off the pills but he's having a hard time. He asked me not to hide them, and count them everyday. He said he wants to be able to not use them by his own will power, not because he can't find them to take. I think it's a "I need to prove I can do this" thing. But I'm not so sure. He didn't take any yesterday or today, but I know it gets harder each day.
He knows that this means that once he's clean, he won't ever be able to use them again when he's in pain. But getting to the clean part is proving difficult. I'm in serious need of advice, I want to help him but I don't know how. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks
He came to me on Sunday saying he needs my help. I hadn't yet noticed he was stealing my pills again. We had a long talk and he broke down crying saying he doesn't understand why it is like it is. That he's not normal unless he has pills. But he doesn't want it to be that way. He has severe panic disorder with frequent long lasting panic attacks and severe anxiety. So he won't go to the doctor about it because that's one of his triggers.
Yesterday he came to me again saying he took more on Monday. He says he still wants me to help him get off the pills but he's having a hard time. He asked me not to hide them, and count them everyday. He said he wants to be able to not use them by his own will power, not because he can't find them to take. I think it's a "I need to prove I can do this" thing. But I'm not so sure. He didn't take any yesterday or today, but I know it gets harder each day.
He knows that this means that once he's clean, he won't ever be able to use them again when he's in pain. But getting to the clean part is proving difficult. I'm in serious need of advice, I want to help him but I don't know how. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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Unfortunately, he is going to have to decide to be clean, or not. The best thing you can do is encourage him and help him when he asks if it's appropriate. I would also encourage him to go see a psychiatrist. I went to a psychiatrist who helps families with addiction, and it really helped me so much. I am not an addict, but had addiction in my home with my X husband. Encourage him to be honest with the psychiatrist and get treated for the things he does need treated for so the temptation to self medicate will not be necessary.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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We've been together almost 10 years. I wish I could pinpoint where it changed to an addiction but I can't. I remember precisely when his panic attacks started, while I was pregnant with our fist son. I'll admit I wasn't as supportive back then as I should've been. I didn't realize the full scope of things.
He has realized it's a problem and wants to fix it. I can see he's trying so hard. He's coming to me crying admitting he took more every time he does. He's afraid I'll leave him, but I won't. We've been together for so long and I will be here for him regardless of how things change. I just don't know how to help him. I know he needs the help.
Like I said, I've never been down this road before. I wish I had all the answers but I don't.
He has realized it's a problem and wants to fix it. I can see he's trying so hard. He's coming to me crying admitting he took more every time he does. He's afraid I'll leave him, but I won't. We've been together for so long and I will be here for him regardless of how things change. I just don't know how to help him. I know he needs the help.
Like I said, I've never been down this road before. I wish I had all the answers but I don't.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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Honestly, don't deal with when it happened so much as that this is what he is dealing with...today.
Has he thought of inpatient treatment? I say this because he seems to have a genuine urge to stop, and needs help you cannot give him. It would give him a chance to get the tools in his toolbox to cope with recovery so to speak, and many rehabs have family programs that can help you deal with all of this too.
Tight hugs to you. Take good care of yourself in dealing with all of this. It's really easy to get caught up and isolate yourself when you have a partner with addiction. Remember, that means you need a full support system too.
Keep reading, keep coming back to SR. There is great support here.
Has he thought of inpatient treatment? I say this because he seems to have a genuine urge to stop, and needs help you cannot give him. It would give him a chance to get the tools in his toolbox to cope with recovery so to speak, and many rehabs have family programs that can help you deal with all of this too.
Tight hugs to you. Take good care of yourself in dealing with all of this. It's really easy to get caught up and isolate yourself when you have a partner with addiction. Remember, that means you need a full support system too.
Keep reading, keep coming back to SR. There is great support here.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
What’s going to happen when your pills run out and he doesn’t have the luxury of them after he’s taken to many of his own?
Here is my experience: my ex would cry and beg for MY help with HIS pill addiction usually while he was high on the pills and knew he had a supply. Anxiety and panic attics were part of him coming down off the pills and when his supply was beginning to run low. His success with a psychiatrist was obtaining a new prescription (Xanax) for his anxiety when coming down off the pain pills. He was addicted to both.
My suggestion to you is learn as much as you can about addiction and more importantly the addicts behaviors. Addicts lie, cheat, steal, manipulate in order to feed their addiction. It doesn’t matter who you are or how much they love you their addiction is the only true thing they think about 24/7. Getting pills, counting pills, using pills, counting pills, getting more pills………….it doesn’t end until they make the choice to stop and put a plan in place for that to happen and the most important of all THEY ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH WITH not just talk about it.
Here is my experience: my ex would cry and beg for MY help with HIS pill addiction usually while he was high on the pills and knew he had a supply. Anxiety and panic attics were part of him coming down off the pills and when his supply was beginning to run low. His success with a psychiatrist was obtaining a new prescription (Xanax) for his anxiety when coming down off the pain pills. He was addicted to both.
My suggestion to you is learn as much as you can about addiction and more importantly the addicts behaviors. Addicts lie, cheat, steal, manipulate in order to feed their addiction. It doesn’t matter who you are or how much they love you their addiction is the only true thing they think about 24/7. Getting pills, counting pills, using pills, counting pills, getting more pills………….it doesn’t end until they make the choice to stop and put a plan in place for that to happen and the most important of all THEY ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH WITH not just talk about it.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 58
Completely agree. Read through the posts on this forum if you want to see how quickly and terribly this can all spiral out of control. The pills will last less and less time. Then he'll be buying Vicodin on the street. Then Oxy. Then heroin. It does not take long for this to ruin not only his life, but yours, and do levels of damage you can't imagine right now.
If he is serious about quitting, he needs to get help. There is literally nothing you can do to stop this from happening. No matter how much you try, how well you love him, or how much wonderful history the two of you have together, you have zero power or control over his addiction. It will win, every single time. He has to go to treatment, go to meetings, see a therapist, and take action into his own hands. As much as he will cry and plead and yell that he wants to get better, there is a massive difference between "I hate that I do this" and "I am going to do something about it".
Good luck and please keep us posted.
If he is serious about quitting, he needs to get help. There is literally nothing you can do to stop this from happening. No matter how much you try, how well you love him, or how much wonderful history the two of you have together, you have zero power or control over his addiction. It will win, every single time. He has to go to treatment, go to meetings, see a therapist, and take action into his own hands. As much as he will cry and plead and yell that he wants to get better, there is a massive difference between "I hate that I do this" and "I am going to do something about it".
Good luck and please keep us posted.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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I think I knew it was a problem 2 months ago. I got a prescription for dilaudid when I couldn't control my pain with vicodin. I didn't fill it because I needed to be able to care for my kids. He found the unfilled prescription paper and begged me to let him fill it. I said no, talked him into giving it to me, then tore it up and threw it away. He got incredibly pissed. Anyways.
I know he wants to change and get better. I don't think he's crying to get his way, he's crying because he knows he messed up. I've literally only seen him cry 4 times in the 10 years we've been together, when his grandpa died, when we were considering breaking up 6 years ago, and these 2 times with admitting he messed up.
The panic attacks started beforethe addiction. Although I do wonder if the increasing panic attacks could be related to this. Definitely possible.
I know everyone says you can't do it on your own, but I'm going to try it this way at least for a bit. So I was hoping to get some advice for trying to get through this without professional involvement. If it doesn't work then we will try something else. But for now I'm just hoping to get advice for what to on our own.
I know he wants to change and get better. I don't think he's crying to get his way, he's crying because he knows he messed up. I've literally only seen him cry 4 times in the 10 years we've been together, when his grandpa died, when we were considering breaking up 6 years ago, and these 2 times with admitting he messed up.
The panic attacks started beforethe addiction. Although I do wonder if the increasing panic attacks could be related to this. Definitely possible.
I know everyone says you can't do it on your own, but I'm going to try it this way at least for a bit. So I was hoping to get some advice for trying to get through this without professional involvement. If it doesn't work then we will try something else. But for now I'm just hoping to get advice for what to on our own.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
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welcome to SR.
chances are it's been a problem FOR HIM for longer than a couple months now....addiction is an insidious, sneaky, sinister disease and by the time you figure out you're hooked, it's too late to simply flip the switch back off. he's already resorted to stealing your meds.....think a bit about the violation there....he is willing to leave you in bona fide PAIN for his own selfish purposes.
so yes now he is admitting things.....and crying and oh so sorry AFTER the fact. until he does it again. he is also currently refusing seeking professional/medical help. he believes he can manage this....the drug addiction and the panic disorder.
neither will go away on their own. and both will continue to get monumentally worse and more out of control until they are arrested and put at a full stop, which does not happen on sheer will power alone. addiction is not a matter of WILL, it is a physical compulsion coupled with a mental obsession, all hijacked by an almost allergic reaction.
you can certainly let him sort this out, see how successful he is at quitting on his own. but you need to guard your own meds. and you might want to keep an eye on the bank account. and any hockable/pawnable items. i'm sure you think - oh MY husband would never do that........but yeah, its much more possible than you think.
chances are it's been a problem FOR HIM for longer than a couple months now....addiction is an insidious, sneaky, sinister disease and by the time you figure out you're hooked, it's too late to simply flip the switch back off. he's already resorted to stealing your meds.....think a bit about the violation there....he is willing to leave you in bona fide PAIN for his own selfish purposes.
so yes now he is admitting things.....and crying and oh so sorry AFTER the fact. until he does it again. he is also currently refusing seeking professional/medical help. he believes he can manage this....the drug addiction and the panic disorder.
neither will go away on their own. and both will continue to get monumentally worse and more out of control until they are arrested and put at a full stop, which does not happen on sheer will power alone. addiction is not a matter of WILL, it is a physical compulsion coupled with a mental obsession, all hijacked by an almost allergic reaction.
you can certainly let him sort this out, see how successful he is at quitting on his own. but you need to guard your own meds. and you might want to keep an eye on the bank account. and any hockable/pawnable items. i'm sure you think - oh MY husband would never do that........but yeah, its much more possible than you think.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Hello SparkleSparrow! Welcome to SR though I am sorry you seem to be in trouble.
I am linking an article here from Floyd P. Garrett, MD that may help you start learning about addiction. I highly recommend many of his other articles on this website.
Prescription Drug Abuse
I am linking an article here from Floyd P. Garrett, MD that may help you start learning about addiction. I highly recommend many of his other articles on this website.
Prescription Drug Abuse
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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Yes I know. I know where all of our money goes and he's not spending it where he shouldn't be. I also think that part of him being so upset is because he knows that means I'll be in pain. It makes me mad, there are days I have to use my crutches or literally not move when it hurts so bad and I'm out of meds because of him. I have 2 kids at home I have to care for and it makes it hard.
Maybe I amin denial about how bad it is, I don't know. I just want him to get better, and I feel like he deserves the chance to try to do it on his own with me, before we involve professionals.
Maybe I amin denial about how bad it is, I don't know. I just want him to get better, and I feel like he deserves the chance to try to do it on his own with me, before we involve professionals.
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Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 67
My AF attempted to detox on his own a few times but it never lasted more than a day or two.
He also tried keeping "one percocet" in his cabinet to "remind himself that he doesn't need it." that didn't work either.
He went to an inpatient detox once, came out feeling on top of the world, did seven meetings a week, got a new phone so dealers wouldn't call. He felt so good handling it on his own that he quit going after a month.
It didn't last. He used my car to drive to the hood one day and was arrested buying heroin.... A lot of it...And no, I did not think he would ever do that..
I am posting my experience because you said you were going to try handling it on your own. When people say that I think Why???? Don't!!!! Help is out there, for you and for him. Go get it!!!
He also tried keeping "one percocet" in his cabinet to "remind himself that he doesn't need it." that didn't work either.
He went to an inpatient detox once, came out feeling on top of the world, did seven meetings a week, got a new phone so dealers wouldn't call. He felt so good handling it on his own that he quit going after a month.
It didn't last. He used my car to drive to the hood one day and was arrested buying heroin.... A lot of it...And no, I did not think he would ever do that..
I am posting my experience because you said you were going to try handling it on your own. When people say that I think Why???? Don't!!!! Help is out there, for you and for him. Go get it!!!
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
I feel like he deserves the chance to try to do it on his own with me, before we involve professionals.
He came to you on Sunday saying he took some, he took more on Monday........today you post....
He says he still wants me to help him get off the pills but he's having a hard time. He asked me not to hide them, and count them everyday.
Of course he doesn't want you to hide them or count them............no addict likes accountability but loves the fact they are with in his reach.
And how exactly are you going to help him? Do you have experience with addiction withdrawal? Are you a nurse or doctor?
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: New England
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My husband's issue is pills, and I can tell you it will not get better without professional help. He can't do this alone. Here's my story:
I have a very serious chronic illness which would allow me to have opiates at any time. For a while I would fill my prescriptions, just in case I really needed them. But guess what? They would disappear. So then, despite me actually needing medicine, I went without so he wouldn't find it. Next up, he was buying pills from friends. That was awful, as we are both attorneys and everyone in a 50 mile radius knows us. I thought it couldn't get worse. But it did! Then he lost his law license...then I lost my job...then his 85 year old mother got cancer and was given an endless supply of pain pills (rightfully so), except not so much because her son steals them from her. And now her doctors are questioning her. So guess what? My husband is now buying drugs on the streets of the major city he used to BE THE MAYOR OF! And trust me, he is very recognizable and well known.
I heard time and time again how he was going to stop as soon as....(fill in the blank) and he would try time and time to detox at home. Why, because he was too embarrassed to seek help. But not too embarrassed to be seen buying drugs on the streets he was once so proud to clean up from drugs.
I hope this doesn't sound too pessimistic - it is reality. This part of his addiction took me too long to understand. It was only when I myself drove by him and saw him buying drugs on the street that is named after us (for real) that I understood there was nothing I could do. The sooner you involve professionals, the better.
I have a very serious chronic illness which would allow me to have opiates at any time. For a while I would fill my prescriptions, just in case I really needed them. But guess what? They would disappear. So then, despite me actually needing medicine, I went without so he wouldn't find it. Next up, he was buying pills from friends. That was awful, as we are both attorneys and everyone in a 50 mile radius knows us. I thought it couldn't get worse. But it did! Then he lost his law license...then I lost my job...then his 85 year old mother got cancer and was given an endless supply of pain pills (rightfully so), except not so much because her son steals them from her. And now her doctors are questioning her. So guess what? My husband is now buying drugs on the streets of the major city he used to BE THE MAYOR OF! And trust me, he is very recognizable and well known.
I heard time and time again how he was going to stop as soon as....(fill in the blank) and he would try time and time to detox at home. Why, because he was too embarrassed to seek help. But not too embarrassed to be seen buying drugs on the streets he was once so proud to clean up from drugs.
I hope this doesn't sound too pessimistic - it is reality. This part of his addiction took me too long to understand. It was only when I myself drove by him and saw him buying drugs on the street that is named after us (for real) that I understood there was nothing I could do. The sooner you involve professionals, the better.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 58
I completely understand not wanting to get professional help. I've been there. I was so sure my love and spirit was unbreakably strong, and there was nothing that my beloved wife and I couldn't beat on our own, without anyone's help. I was confident that our love was powerful and that we were smart, dedicated, and wanted to make this work, and there wasn't a mountain or an ocean on the planet that could stop us.
You will find out that this isn't the case with opiate addiction. It will win, I guarantee you.
I know that I may come off sounding harsh, but I am really writing to you as someone who was in your shoes three years ago. I KNEW we could beat it together. Nobody else got it. Rehab is for people who don't have the support structure or the foundation that we have in place. I can understand one hundred percent, but as a lot of people on here have mentioned it just isn't going to work. It can't. It's doomed from the start unless you take proactive steps to set up a system of recovery. This message board is filled with stories just like this, as you will see as you dig through it.
Think of it this way: Go back and read what you posted about your husband "feeling bad" that he took your pain medications. I'll tell you right now that I feel absolutely no pity for him. He is stealing your pain medication, leaving you in excruciating pain and making it impossible for you to care for your own children, and he's doing it just so that he can get high.
Addicts have a great way of making co-dependent people like us feel like WE are the ones who need to make sacrifices, when in reality THEY are the ones who are being completely selfish, inconsiderate, and deceitful. He tells you that he's sorry he messed up, and he might really mean it, but his actions simply don't back up what he is saying to you -- despite KNOWING it's not right, he keeps doing it. Even though he knows what it's doing to you. He doesn't care. That's the way an addict's mind works. Nothing is more important to them than the drugs. Not even family.
You need to take every step to take care of yourself, love yourself, and protect yourself. Because unless this man is working a program, and working it hard, he is just going to keep taking and taking until you literally have nothing left to give.
I know this isn't what you came here to hear from us, but I really urge you to go through and read some of the posts on here by men and women who have lived with opiate-addicted spouses. We have all been where you are now, and tried to make it work on our own, and failed.
Please do consider getting help before it gets worse.
You will find out that this isn't the case with opiate addiction. It will win, I guarantee you.
I know that I may come off sounding harsh, but I am really writing to you as someone who was in your shoes three years ago. I KNEW we could beat it together. Nobody else got it. Rehab is for people who don't have the support structure or the foundation that we have in place. I can understand one hundred percent, but as a lot of people on here have mentioned it just isn't going to work. It can't. It's doomed from the start unless you take proactive steps to set up a system of recovery. This message board is filled with stories just like this, as you will see as you dig through it.
Think of it this way: Go back and read what you posted about your husband "feeling bad" that he took your pain medications. I'll tell you right now that I feel absolutely no pity for him. He is stealing your pain medication, leaving you in excruciating pain and making it impossible for you to care for your own children, and he's doing it just so that he can get high.
Addicts have a great way of making co-dependent people like us feel like WE are the ones who need to make sacrifices, when in reality THEY are the ones who are being completely selfish, inconsiderate, and deceitful. He tells you that he's sorry he messed up, and he might really mean it, but his actions simply don't back up what he is saying to you -- despite KNOWING it's not right, he keeps doing it. Even though he knows what it's doing to you. He doesn't care. That's the way an addict's mind works. Nothing is more important to them than the drugs. Not even family.
You need to take every step to take care of yourself, love yourself, and protect yourself. Because unless this man is working a program, and working it hard, he is just going to keep taking and taking until you literally have nothing left to give.
I know this isn't what you came here to hear from us, but I really urge you to go through and read some of the posts on here by men and women who have lived with opiate-addicted spouses. We have all been where you are now, and tried to make it work on our own, and failed.
Please do consider getting help before it gets worse.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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Sorry I think I typed that strange. He DOES want me to count them. He wants me to count them everyday or even more than once a day. He doesn't want me to hide them because he wants to be able to quit on his own will power, not because he doesn't have access to any. If that makes sense. He wants me to count everyday & talk to him everyday. He's on day 2 of no pills at all. Tonight makes 2 full days.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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I hear what everyone is saying. But to be clear, it wasn't my idea, it was him. He admitted it to me before I even noticed. He asked me to help him before I had realized he needed help. It's not that he's taken them everyday for an extended period of time. He would rake some, go a few days without, take more etc. I think we caught it early. He realized it became a problem and wants to fix it. He sees his doctor once a month for his panic & anxiety. She knows us well, she's also an OB that delivered our first child. He tried seeing a therapist but I don't know it just didn't help him. Maybe he needs to see a therapist who specializes in opiate addiction and panic disorder. I'll look into that.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
I'd be a little wary of needing to be the Pill Police. If he is trying to use willpower only, and not any of the many recovery resources at his disposal, he has an uphill battle ahead of him. Addiction's first strike is on the addict's willpower. If you are "in charge" of counting pills and he stumbles, he has set you up as a target for the blame. (You would not *actually* be to blame, of course, but his Addiction will latch on wherever it needs to in order to maintain the status quo).
I hope this works out for you both, but there is a big difference between white-knuckling sobriety and recovering.
I hope this works out for you both, but there is a big difference between white-knuckling sobriety and recovering.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
right now keep in mind that he is putting you in the position of being the Pill Police, as SparkleKitty said....if he does't bug you about having "just one" or go all batchit crazy on you, that is a good thing. but this is not a position you want to hold long term.....having to count YOUR pills multiple times a day to make sure HE didn't take any.
i'm really sorry to hear that he has left you in so much pain you need crutches to get around or simply cannot move, especially when you have children at home to tend to. that really is abhorrent. please don't minimize how this has affected YOU. you are equally important, your HEALTH also.
it's ok to put the research and organizing of HIS appointments or possible new therapists etc ON HIM. the more ACTIVE he is in his recovery the more engaged and committed he can feel.
i'm really sorry to hear that he has left you in so much pain you need crutches to get around or simply cannot move, especially when you have children at home to tend to. that really is abhorrent. please don't minimize how this has affected YOU. you are equally important, your HEALTH also.
it's ok to put the research and organizing of HIS appointments or possible new therapists etc ON HIM. the more ACTIVE he is in his recovery the more engaged and committed he can feel.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 8
What other options are out there? Both my husband and I are atheist. I've been looking into the different step programs, but every single one I've found uses God as what holds them together.
If he hears even the mention of God he will roll his eyes and leave. . So. What other options are there? I started reading a post directed at Atheists & agnostics, I'll try making my way through that tonight. If I'm not active for a while it's because I'm taking care of the kids.
If he hears even the mention of God he will roll his eyes and leave. . So. What other options are there? I started reading a post directed at Atheists & agnostics, I'll try making my way through that tonight. If I'm not active for a while it's because I'm taking care of the kids.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
Honey, I hate to break it to you but you have basically 2 options:
1. Stay with your husband & accept that merely by letting him live with you, if you are unable to cope without pain meds of your own, that there's a very likely chance he'll continue stealing meds of yours. He will probably say he's sorry every single time he does. He will probably turn over his "power" to you every time, in some way. But it is highly, highly unlikely he will ever stop using them, even if he IS in some kind of program, because the temptation & his addiction will overcome. So given that, option #1 is for you to not only live a life of holding his hand through his addiction, but to risk being in on-again-off-again pain yourself because your medication will continue to "disappear".
2. Take the journey with him. I don't know you, so I'm not suggesting that your pain is manageable without prescription strength medication, but IF there's a chance that it could be, I would highly recommend researching any other option than opiate painkillers IF you want to stay with your husband. At the same time, research in-patient treatment for him, & don't kid yourself about being able to track, control, schedule or otherwise manage his addiction yourself: it's not going to happen. If you truly believe that he wants to rid himself of this addiction to pills, then it will go further than you could even imagine to offer to walk the walk with him.
Then, despite what you may try & how hard you may try it, you need to be prepared for him to go back on everything you've attempted & then some.
My husband, too, used to steal MY pain meds, lie about it first, & then beg me to hold onto his own Suboxone, count them & dispense them to him.
Same goes for booze, cigarettes, you name it. No matter HOW many times he told me he "didn't want to be dependent on anything", in the end, he would simply cover his tracks as he traded one vice for another.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "I don't want to be dependent on.." or "I can just quit cold-turkey, I know I can"...I would be beyond rich.
Whatever course of action you take, do not take it by yourself. Then it becomes a cat & mouse game-he said, she said, & that is a game that no one wins.
Good luck.
1. Stay with your husband & accept that merely by letting him live with you, if you are unable to cope without pain meds of your own, that there's a very likely chance he'll continue stealing meds of yours. He will probably say he's sorry every single time he does. He will probably turn over his "power" to you every time, in some way. But it is highly, highly unlikely he will ever stop using them, even if he IS in some kind of program, because the temptation & his addiction will overcome. So given that, option #1 is for you to not only live a life of holding his hand through his addiction, but to risk being in on-again-off-again pain yourself because your medication will continue to "disappear".
2. Take the journey with him. I don't know you, so I'm not suggesting that your pain is manageable without prescription strength medication, but IF there's a chance that it could be, I would highly recommend researching any other option than opiate painkillers IF you want to stay with your husband. At the same time, research in-patient treatment for him, & don't kid yourself about being able to track, control, schedule or otherwise manage his addiction yourself: it's not going to happen. If you truly believe that he wants to rid himself of this addiction to pills, then it will go further than you could even imagine to offer to walk the walk with him.
Then, despite what you may try & how hard you may try it, you need to be prepared for him to go back on everything you've attempted & then some.
My husband, too, used to steal MY pain meds, lie about it first, & then beg me to hold onto his own Suboxone, count them & dispense them to him.
Same goes for booze, cigarettes, you name it. No matter HOW many times he told me he "didn't want to be dependent on anything", in the end, he would simply cover his tracks as he traded one vice for another.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "I don't want to be dependent on.." or "I can just quit cold-turkey, I know I can"...I would be beyond rich.
Whatever course of action you take, do not take it by yourself. Then it becomes a cat & mouse game-he said, she said, & that is a game that no one wins.
Good luck.
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