Hes using opiates, admitted it now

Old 08-23-2015, 01:08 PM
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Hes using opiates, admitted it now

I think the power of weed is nothing like opiates. I was always able to talk to my fiance, but hes all over the place now when we try to have a serious discussion. I didnt handle it like I wanted because I wasnt expecting his attitude or emotions. It started ok but I got upset and couldnt be calm. He admitted to been smoking heroin sometimes but only because he couldnt get oxycodone. From what he says is it possible a dealer would try to get him hooked on heroin more than oxy? we got into this fight and he left and is still gone. A girlfriend called me to say he was at her house and hanging out with her husband, saying he messed up and was even crying. Why would he be over there crying after screaming at me and acting arrogant like he was in control? He wasnt anything like himself the way he talked to me. I keep thinking about if hes addicted, he will try to keep us both and will come back to charm me and say he will quit. I know he wont quit heroin without help and his anxiety from before. No he needs help. I cant marry someone who has all these problems unless he can admit and dedicate to working on all of it. I dont think he will. He never would face the anxiety only used weed for it. unless it gets bad and hes on the floor I dont think he will stop, heroin is worse, stronger, and hes sucked in already. I keep saying he was stupid, and telling myself no hes been sick and needing help a long time. I was stupid to ignore it and this is now what I get. a baby who wouldnt see a doctor, taking drugs from strangers not afraid, only making it all worse. na-anon says love him unconditionally because hes sick, its hard not to be mad because its hurting me even if he doesnt mean to,

Im not sure how I feel or what to do. Im still reading at na-anon and I need to work on my boundaries now. I want him to come home and say he needs help, but I feel like its wishful thinking. I sent him one text saying I was sorry to become upset but I loved him and am scared . I will try to be calm when we talk again and for him not to be afraid to come home when hes ready.
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Old 08-23-2015, 01:25 PM
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whew, breathe.....this is really unsettling news and hard to deal with. for anyone. can you get out of the house, visit a friend, take a walk in a nice park, even if just for a half hour so you don't dwell and worry so much?

people often turn to heroin after using oxys, due to cost and availability - supply and demand. and opiates get a real death grip on users. it is not IMPOSSIBLE to quit, not at all, but it takes complete dedication and a lot of professional support.
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Old 08-23-2015, 01:26 PM
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I think the power of weed is nothing like opiates.
The dangerous thing about opiates is even after a person detoxes from them, the brain vividly remembers what it's like to be under the influence of them. And someone under the influence of opiates feels nothing but bliss. There's no emotional pain or suffering. There's just that feeling. So when a person is in the early stages of recovery from opiate addiction, and their feelings and emotions are seemingly cranked to 11, his brain is going, We know how to make this go away. Thus, they pick up, and the whole destructive cycle begins anew.

There is literally nothing you can do for him, Jessica. But as I've pointed out to you recently, you have choices. They may not be the ones you want, but that's still better than having no choices at all.
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Old 08-23-2015, 02:32 PM
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thank you both. Im excited, went and posted my introduction at Smart Recovery just now. Still havent heard from him but I think he will be home because he works tomorrow and needs clothes. Hes never walked out on me before.
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Old 08-23-2015, 06:39 PM
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Jessica
What I want to say to you Is Run. Run like hell and don't look back. Don't marry this guy.

Since I don't think you will do that, may I shed a little light on this fight?

He screamed at you and ran out because he is an addict. He made up that sorry a$$ story about drug dealers getting him hooked on heroin because he is an addict. He went over to his friends and made sure your friend saw tears because he is an addict.

Addicts care about one thing and one thing only and that is where they will get their next fix. Addicts lie, manipulate, scream, run away, cry, or whatever they need to to get their next fix.

More than likely he is smoking H because its cheaper than Oxy. And if he moved from Oxy to H, it means he running out of money. I'd be keeping a an eye on the finances. He ran because he needs time to think up a story. He ran so you get scared and welcome him home with open arms. My guess....you'll have a rerun of this fight a couple hundred times in the near future if you stay.

RUN.
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Old 08-25-2015, 09:01 AM
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Don't be too hard on yourself . Cheer up and try and keep yourself busy . There is no doubt that you will go through stages of pain , hurt and anger . Stay strong and continue meetings for YOU.
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