mnh1982

ExAH has been randomly calling me from various, unrecognizable numbers.
I got a hold of one of the owners of one of said numbers yesterday, who turned out to be a friend of AH's (J.). J. said that AH has stopped by his place in the last week & asked to borrow J's phone, so I'm guessing every one of the weird calls I keep getting is exAH using a borrowed cell phone.

Instead of digging for information about exAH, where he is, how he looks (aka, is he using again?), etc, I simply told J...."If you see him again, you can tell him I have nothing to say to him. He can pick up his divorce summons at his dad's house, which is where I've mailed it."

A month ago, even a couple of weeks ago, I probably would have given poor J. the third degree, trying to find out what exAH has been up to since I kicked him out (again).

I'm kinda proud of myself for not doing that & sending a clear message that exAH is NOT wanted in my home, around my (our) child or in our lives anymore.

What have you done lately to take a stand? What are YOU proud of?

atalose

Nice Job!!!! it feels empowering doesn't it?

I'm prouf of myself for remaining with no contact for just over 2 years now and no wanting to look back.

hopeful4

Good for you!!!! You deserve peace in your life!

mab112

I have been following your posts. Very honestly your an inspiration to me. I think it is a positive step for yourself to have reacted that way.

As for me... I kicked AH out of our bedroom. Until he is sober and in treatment. A big part of me wishes it had been the entire house but I am not there yet.

jenpi813

Courageous and healthy act. We support you.

mnh1982

He called AGAIN like...a zillion times, so finally, I picked up, ripped him yet another new one for being a crappy husband & nonexistent father, & refused to let him come "visit" us.

Every time he "visits" he ends up overstaying his (lukewarm at best) welcome anyway.

I sent the divorce summons to his dad's house via certified mail today. Let the mandatory 20-day waiting period begin!

ella213

Me too!! Except he is only allowed to stay in the guest room if he is clean and in treatment. He smoked heroin the very first night of this arrangement and I didn't kick him out.

Which is why mnh is my hero too.

anxiouswife2

my ex husband has been back from inpatient, in the same town, for about a week now. unfortunately - its a small place. i ran into him at the gas station only 2 pumps over. even tho everything inside of me was screaming to get the hell out of there, i pumped my gas & calmly got into my car and left. did not respond to the "hey!!'s" as i drove away - and managed to somehow not run him over....
success!

mnh1982

Anxious, you rock!!

atalose

One of the things I learned the hard way was – if he calls you a zillion times and you finally pick up on the zillionth and one time – then next time he is drunk calling you out of control he will know he has to call you at least a zillion and two times.

Turn off your phone when he begins his barrage of phone calls. You are under no obligation to answer his calls when he is spinning out of control like that.

mnh1982

His calling really doesn't affect me.

Sent the divorce summons via certified mail to his dad's house (last known address). He has 20 days to file some sort of response before the court system defaults judgement in my favor.

He can call all he wants. Whether or not I pick up the phone has no bearing on what's about to happen, which is that we will be legally divorced no matter what he does. And according to the divorce petition as I filled it out, that also means he has no unsupervised contact with our son & is not allowed to see him at all unless he submits to & passes random UAs.

He wasn't drunk when he called. Nor was he high on anything. Just tryig to get me to feel sorry for him & let him come visit.

Which I also did not let him do because we aren't playing that game anymore.