Bit lost
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 4
Bit lost
Been a lurker for a while on here and lots of the posts have helped me alot.
So same old story here. Was with my ABF 2 years and dumped numerous times (around 10x) over that period... Anyways the final time I made a vow to go NC... Well thats gone pretty good. Changed my phone number. Not on social media so canny get me there. Its been 8 months now and over the last 2 months I've had a few emails but have just ignored. Not gonna change the email I've had for 10 years... Thats all been pretty OK... Doesnt mean I havent thought about him or that I wasnt hurt.
I guess I made my final decision and am sticking to it
What I am concerned about though is I now struggle with my own confidence and have some trust issues.
I have sought some help and am having 121 sessions but I am still struggling with building my self worth back up. The funny thing is I was always v independent .. Erring on the side of stubborn lol
I have a good job. Own my home. Told I am attractive and a honest genuine person. I even try to tell myself it in the mirror but its sooo difficult to find the "me" I always was. Am I expecting a bit too much of myself? How have others found this and dealt with it?
So same old story here. Was with my ABF 2 years and dumped numerous times (around 10x) over that period... Anyways the final time I made a vow to go NC... Well thats gone pretty good. Changed my phone number. Not on social media so canny get me there. Its been 8 months now and over the last 2 months I've had a few emails but have just ignored. Not gonna change the email I've had for 10 years... Thats all been pretty OK... Doesnt mean I havent thought about him or that I wasnt hurt.
I guess I made my final decision and am sticking to it
What I am concerned about though is I now struggle with my own confidence and have some trust issues.
I have sought some help and am having 121 sessions but I am still struggling with building my self worth back up. The funny thing is I was always v independent .. Erring on the side of stubborn lol
I have a good job. Own my home. Told I am attractive and a honest genuine person. I even try to tell myself it in the mirror but its sooo difficult to find the "me" I always was. Am I expecting a bit too much of myself? How have others found this and dealt with it?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It takes time to heal from any broken relationship. Maybe join a group that shares your interests, like photography or a hiking group, or find time now for a hobby you have always wanted to pursue. The happier you make yourself, the more confident you will feel.
It takes time but life does go on and will get better over time.
Hugs
It takes time but life does go on and will get better over time.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 574
I find that doing simple things for myself each day helps. Doing something that i may feel uncomfortable doing ... or a bit hesitant, maybe shy ... puts a smile on my face and someone elses too. Each step no matter how small ... is a step in the right direction ... forward
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 4
Thanks peeps.
I have taken up some of the old hobbies I loved before the drama of drugs got involved. I've been on a holiday too. It is helping alot I just guess the adage time is a healer is true.
The emails I had were very nochalant... "Are you doing OK?"
I guess its kinda funny really. No apologies not that I was expecting them.
I didnt see it to begin with but I realise from reading on here I have dodged a bullet. We werent married or kids so no true ties. Its made making a clean break easier.
I have taken up some of the old hobbies I loved before the drama of drugs got involved. I've been on a holiday too. It is helping alot I just guess the adage time is a healer is true.
The emails I had were very nochalant... "Are you doing OK?"
I guess its kinda funny really. No apologies not that I was expecting them.
I didnt see it to begin with but I realise from reading on here I have dodged a bullet. We werent married or kids so no true ties. Its made making a clean break easier.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Lemon Girl posted some videos by Dr. Peter Gerlach just the other day. He has an entire website called Break the Cycle which likely addresses self esteem issues. He has a systematic lesson guide which uses Family Systems Theory. Take a peek and see if working through it might give you some insight to your self esteem issues.
Non-profit Break-the-[wounds + unawareness]-Cycle Web site home page.
Non-profit Break-the-[wounds + unawareness]-Cycle Web site home page.
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