Five Years Here, So Sad to Still Be Here
Take care
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Another crisis averted. Thank God. The hospital almost discharged him INTO THE CARE OF ANOTHER PSYCH PATIENT (?!?!?!) this morning but before that could happen the police arrived at the hospital with a warrant for his arrest. We aren't sure why but it might be because he violated probation by not calling them from the hospital as he is supposed to check in with them daily. *sigh of relief* Just won't hold my breath that this is over.
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yeah, problem was that everything yesterday morning was moving so fast that I don't think they had time to read my fax. It was an extremely scary threat. Problem is with psychiatry there is such a wide berth for doctors to hedge. The corporations that run hospitals also do a risk-benefit analysis to form policies on this discharge issue: they calculate the risk of financial losses from lawsuits (low b/c the vast majority of consumers are not equipped to sue) compared to the benefits of violating EMTALA and discharging before stabilization.
The law requires hospitals provide further treatment and examination until the medical condition is resolved or stabilized and the patient is able to provide self-care following discharge, or if unable, can receive needed continual care. Inpatient care provided must be at an equal level for all patients, regardless of ability to pay. (Yeah, right...like THAT actually happens.)
If the hospital does not have the capability to treat the condition, the hospital must make an "appropriate" transfer of the patient to another hospital with such capability. This includes a long-term care or rehabilitation facilities for patients unable to provide self-care. Hospitals with specialized capabilities must accept such transfers and may not discharge a patient until the condition is resolved and the patient is able to provide self-care or is transferred to another facility.
The above legal standard under EMTALA applies when patient or legally responsible person (when patient not stabilized enough to make competent request) requests treatment and/or transfer.
I spoke to a woman who is an executive for a national behavioral health management corporation (runs a number of hospitals throughout the country) yesterday who was just completely shocked and appalled at my B's situation. She could not believe the level of legal and ethical violations that have been taking place. Yup. Tell me about it!
The law requires hospitals provide further treatment and examination until the medical condition is resolved or stabilized and the patient is able to provide self-care following discharge, or if unable, can receive needed continual care. Inpatient care provided must be at an equal level for all patients, regardless of ability to pay. (Yeah, right...like THAT actually happens.)
If the hospital does not have the capability to treat the condition, the hospital must make an "appropriate" transfer of the patient to another hospital with such capability. This includes a long-term care or rehabilitation facilities for patients unable to provide self-care. Hospitals with specialized capabilities must accept such transfers and may not discharge a patient until the condition is resolved and the patient is able to provide self-care or is transferred to another facility.
The above legal standard under EMTALA applies when patient or legally responsible person (when patient not stabilized enough to make competent request) requests treatment and/or transfer.
I spoke to a woman who is an executive for a national behavioral health management corporation (runs a number of hospitals throughout the country) yesterday who was just completely shocked and appalled at my B's situation. She could not believe the level of legal and ethical violations that have been taking place. Yup. Tell me about it!
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P.S. I cannot even begin to tell you what a wrongful death lawsuit will be slapped on any hospital that my B gets discharged from and shortly after winds up dead. Plus, as far as any personal injury to him or another person, I will ensure that the hospital winds up to be held comparably negligent.
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A little background on Thursday. The hospital was trying to get B to accept transfer into another acute care facility as he was still psychotic but they were more concerned about $/insurance which had only approved through to Thurs. Then Thurs am he got the offer from fellow patient to go stay at his house (yeah, that's sane thinking on B's part).
Friday, dad got a phone call from jail asking if he would bail B out. He refused. Why bail is even an option under these circumstances is beyond me. So, now we are on edge worried that he could get someone else to bail him out. This is all I could think about yesterday but I was luckily able to get a decent night sleep as I hadn't slept much at all the night before.
Friday, dad got a phone call from jail asking if he would bail B out. He refused. Why bail is even an option under these circumstances is beyond me. So, now we are on edge worried that he could get someone else to bail him out. This is all I could think about yesterday but I was luckily able to get a decent night sleep as I hadn't slept much at all the night before.
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May be steering OT, so I will get to the point.
Recognizing your concern about the care of your brother, I'm sharing info from a past conversation with my SIL, who is an RN, (at that time, my FIL was dying and being treated in a hospital): She clearly emphasized the importance of family advocating for patients, who are too ill to speak for themselves. I've worked in hospitals and completely agree.
Wishing you and your family well.
Recognizing your concern about the care of your brother, I'm sharing info from a past conversation with my SIL, who is an RN, (at that time, my FIL was dying and being treated in a hospital): She clearly emphasized the importance of family advocating for patients, who are too ill to speak for themselves. I've worked in hospitals and completely agree.
Wishing you and your family well.
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Got a heads up from B's mom that his attorney has told Dad that he doesn't expect anything more to happen at tomorrow's hearing except a transfer out of "drug court" into "mental health" whatever that means. OK, so for over two months he's shown no ability to maintain himself in the community, shown by the four hospitalizations with no more than a week in between each, and they plan on lifting restrictions? When he is suspected of doing bath salts? Are you kidding me??????
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drug court team withholding information from judge
Spoke to Dad about tomorrow's hearing and learned that basically the probation officer and other team members haven't and don't plan to present the all the evidence supporting inpatient treatment. They believe he will follow through on his promise to stay on his medication (seroquel?) and follow the rules of the house he'll be returning to (family friend). Dad, B's mom, and I don't think he will be able keep himself out of trouble and strongly believe detox/inpatient is what he needs instead. Dad is going to try to speak and has a 21 page document I put together with the whole clinical picture. I advised him to print it out and try to give it to the judge. Hope I can sleep tonight.
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Sooooooooo stressed out right now. I know he's going to find out that I "narc'ed" on him and feel betrayed. I keep being told "He can't hate you if he's dead" and that's what is keeping me sane right now.
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More prayers for you and your family.
Over a few years' time, we made decisions that were difficult (to press charges against our son, to seek involuntary commitment for our son) but at the end of the day, I do not regret making those.
Take care.
Over a few years' time, we made decisions that were difficult (to press charges against our son, to seek involuntary commitment for our son) but at the end of the day, I do not regret making those.
Take care.
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Hello there.
I have been praying for you and your brother.
I would encourage your dad to send the document to the courts before, so the judge has a chance to read over it before he makes any decision. Not sure how that works legally, but I know of a case that someone did that here, and the judge had fully read and looked into the case before it came before him.
Many hugs to you!
I have been praying for you and your brother.
I would encourage your dad to send the document to the courts before, so the judge has a chance to read over it before he makes any decision. Not sure how that works legally, but I know of a case that someone did that here, and the judge had fully read and looked into the case before it came before him.
Many hugs to you!
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Yes, I believe my dad is doing that.
We have a four o'clock family meeting today with the attorney who is basically going to give B the ultimatum: either he continues to represent him but he MUST listen to his advice (e.g. go to inpatient) or he can longer be his lawyer. I am going to speak about how the inpatient treatment needs to be entered as a court order so to ensure compliance by ALL parties, not just B but the insurance company, the hospitals, etc. Attorney has wanted to enter a petition for this but B has been too uncooperative thus far.
Fingers still crossed and hands in prayer.
We have a four o'clock family meeting today with the attorney who is basically going to give B the ultimatum: either he continues to represent him but he MUST listen to his advice (e.g. go to inpatient) or he can longer be his lawyer. I am going to speak about how the inpatient treatment needs to be entered as a court order so to ensure compliance by ALL parties, not just B but the insurance company, the hospitals, etc. Attorney has wanted to enter a petition for this but B has been too uncooperative thus far.
Fingers still crossed and hands in prayer.
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Well, attorney did not conference call me in to the meeting as he was supposed to. From what I gather, B was cooperative yesterday and agreed to do what everyone thinks is best for him. He's with his mom today, going to doctor's appointment and to meet with probation. Weekends are tough for him, as they are associated with "partying," so who knows what might happen. He knows he is bound by law to stay on his meds, but is that enough to stop him from using?? Time will tell. I think I am going to shut off all my communications as of 7pm tonight and try to take a break until Monday morning. I need to, for my own mental and physical health.
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alterity:
Thinking of you and your family today and sending prayers.
About your questions: My son was very angry that we decided to move ahead with pressing charges and (separately at other times) choosing to have him hospitalized and sent into treatment, and he projected that onto my husband and me; he was not willing to be accountable for his choices.
Those instances I mentioned in my prior post occurred in 2011 and before, so, over time, his anger has faded and I get the idea he has gained insight.
Currently, at age 23, he has his own life and I mine, we occasionally get together, text each other, and he has also occasionally contacted me for advice on issues with which he's grappling -- the reason I mention all this is that even though he and I don't always see eye to eye, he still does trust me. He knows I care.
Hope you are having a peaceful day.
Thinking of you and your family today and sending prayers.
About your questions: My son was very angry that we decided to move ahead with pressing charges and (separately at other times) choosing to have him hospitalized and sent into treatment, and he projected that onto my husband and me; he was not willing to be accountable for his choices.
Those instances I mentioned in my prior post occurred in 2011 and before, so, over time, his anger has faded and I get the idea he has gained insight.
Currently, at age 23, he has his own life and I mine, we occasionally get together, text each other, and he has also occasionally contacted me for advice on issues with which he's grappling -- the reason I mention all this is that even though he and I don't always see eye to eye, he still does trust me. He knows I care.
Hope you are having a peaceful day.
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Alterity, I am so sorry for your pain.
My name is DeVon, and I have been on both sides of the fence. I have a 37 year-old daughter in active addiction, and I was married to an addict once upon a time.
I am also a long-term recovering addict/alcoholic. I celebrated 25 years clean/ sober on August 25th. I also have dual diagnoses (major depressive disorder/generalized anxiety disorder).
I went through a small inpatient treatment facility in 1986, and it was around 5 years after that when I was dual-diagnosed.
My 37 year-old daughter is also dual-diagnosed, but refuses to take any psychiatric drugs except for Seroquel at night and Xanax. She is content to abuse her prescription medications, including percocet, morphine, and of course the xanax.
I've lost track of how many times she's been jail. She's been on probation for one thing or another over 15 years. Her UA's are considered clean because what is in her system is her "prescription drugs. She's bull$hitted every probation officer she's had.
I have taken her in and subsequently kicked her out 3 times over the years. I have hit many emotional bottoms with her.
She's no longer welcome in my home. She lies constantly. She has stolen from me. The list could go on and on.
It took many years and a lot of pain for me to realize I had to detach from her and take care of myself.
Sadly, I'm sure she will OD eventually and die. She takes Ambien, Xanax, Seroquel, and morphine when she goes to bed, all at staggering doses.
I know many people who think that kind of thinking is so wrong, and that's ok.
My daughter has been at it since age 15. I don't have hope because that is an emotion based on potential future outcomes. Instead I have faith, faith that a loving God watches over her just as he has done for me all my life.
I had to get out of God's way and use the principles of Alanon. We don't have Alanon or Naranon in my small town but I have a daily reader and their blue book. I also know good people who have also been on both sides of the fence and use both programs in their recovery.
I sleep well at night knowing I have placed her in God's loving hands.
Sending you gentle hugs from scorching Kansas.
My name is DeVon, and I have been on both sides of the fence. I have a 37 year-old daughter in active addiction, and I was married to an addict once upon a time.
I am also a long-term recovering addict/alcoholic. I celebrated 25 years clean/ sober on August 25th. I also have dual diagnoses (major depressive disorder/generalized anxiety disorder).
I went through a small inpatient treatment facility in 1986, and it was around 5 years after that when I was dual-diagnosed.
My 37 year-old daughter is also dual-diagnosed, but refuses to take any psychiatric drugs except for Seroquel at night and Xanax. She is content to abuse her prescription medications, including percocet, morphine, and of course the xanax.
I've lost track of how many times she's been jail. She's been on probation for one thing or another over 15 years. Her UA's are considered clean because what is in her system is her "prescription drugs. She's bull$hitted every probation officer she's had.
I have taken her in and subsequently kicked her out 3 times over the years. I have hit many emotional bottoms with her.
She's no longer welcome in my home. She lies constantly. She has stolen from me. The list could go on and on.
It took many years and a lot of pain for me to realize I had to detach from her and take care of myself.
Sadly, I'm sure she will OD eventually and die. She takes Ambien, Xanax, Seroquel, and morphine when she goes to bed, all at staggering doses.
I know many people who think that kind of thinking is so wrong, and that's ok.
My daughter has been at it since age 15. I don't have hope because that is an emotion based on potential future outcomes. Instead I have faith, faith that a loving God watches over her just as he has done for me all my life.
I had to get out of God's way and use the principles of Alanon. We don't have Alanon or Naranon in my small town but I have a daily reader and their blue book. I also know good people who have also been on both sides of the fence and use both programs in their recovery.
I sleep well at night knowing I have placed her in God's loving hands.
Sending you gentle hugs from scorching Kansas.
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