OK Major Whinge Alert!

Old 06-01-2015, 01:26 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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OK Major Whinge Alert!

OK I would like to vent.

This is the situation I find myself in.

I am just feeling negative today.

I have tried SO HARD to hold my life together, and whatever I try it just seems to fall further apart.

I am BROKE. Like as in severely.

When I left my A two months ago, I did it quickly, without much for planning. I was terrified of getting stuck in that situation, any my mental health and emotional wellbeing were not doing so well.

Luckily I had my parents to fall back on in terms of somewhere to stay.

However my mum has been lending me money for the past few years to help me get started in my business, and for various other things.

I was expecting to be profitable with my business by now, however sometimes the money just doesn't come.

I feel like such a failure having to go back to my mum for handouts and support at my age (34)!!!

My business took a nose dive when he started using last year, and I am not saying it is all because of that. I am sure it's not. I am aware I have to learn how to be responsible with money, and that is where I am at now.

I'm just frustrated though.

So after I left I was back at my parents, in the tiniest little room, and so I brought myself over to France for a business conference, thinking I would be able to make enough money through my biz, or get a summer job or something, to get my head and emotions together

Again, no cigar.

Sigh.

I'm so tired.

I seem to carry this dysfunction with me wherever I go.

However I am ready to head to London and get a job. I will keep my business going as well.

I WILL DO THIS.

I will be successful, and happy.

My life just feels like such a car crash right now.

I really value freedom, hence setting up my business, however right now with the debts and money troubles it just feels like no foundation to build on.

Thanks for listening.
CarmenLove is offline  
Old 06-01-2015, 03:31 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
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Girl, you & me both.

I am soooo sick of living paycheck to paycheck & frankly, had I not married my AH & dealt with his crap for so long, I would be at least $10k richer today.

But...I've no choice but to keep doing it until such time as I can pay off bills & actually get ahead, rather than saving a tiny amount per month that has to go to baby's things, or groceries, or whatever the next month.

You are doing the best you can.

That is all you can do.

I know it's frustrating & you look around you & everyone else seems to have it all, literally.

But you are doing the best you can & that's all that can ever be expected.

Try to find solace & enjoyment in the little things. You ARE traveling, even though it doesn't seem like the kind of travel you want. You have support & you will pay it "forward" when you can. Or pay them back .

Hugs.
mnh1982 is offline  
Old 06-02-2015, 06:17 AM
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I seem to carry this dysfunction with me wherever I go.

I can relate. I left quickly too -- because of a really heated argument that my child watched and then begged her dad (at 3 years old) "to stop it and just be nice to my mom." it was gutwrenching. looking back, i am thankful for that horrific moment. he turned the heat up so high that i had no choice but to take my baby and get the hell out of the proverbial kitchen.

finanically, it is terrifying. it is paycheck to paycheck. it is daycare tuition and new clothes and car payments with one half (the much smaller half) of the income we had built our lives around for 5 years. I get so angry at him when something unexpected comes up and i figure out how to shuffle dollars around to make it work - because he doesn't have to feel the stress. I've filed child support, but half of nothing is nothing - and he literally has $17.00 in his checking account.

I am in your boat. My parents have been a life saver to me as well and i always say when i get to the other side of this, I'll make sure I pay it forward and help someone who's doing everything they can but "Everything" doesnt always make ends meet. I feel like its not fair that we made the bravest choice - to walk - and we still pay the consequences of the addict. But i believe in karma 100% & that one day, I'll remember living in a tiny apartment barely making it but damn happy that I put my kid first

Hugs!
anxiouswife2 is offline  

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