thequest

RANT Alert.

Recently one of the worst episodes yet. Not only is the alkie/addict in an overly hostile/agitated state of late he came in one night and literally had nothing but complaints. No hellos, what's up , what's new etc. You have this problem you should do this. Not only was he mistaken or exaggerating it was extremely condescending even for him. I try to keep in mind his persona is that of the last full time job he had a decade ago- a manager. He always acts like he is charge of you but apparently not his life because somebody else is always screwing him or it's their fault.

Supposedly he was going to stay with friends where he comes back in a much calmer state, not calm but calmER. These friends include his pot buddies. He is on steroids and probably other miscellaneous drugs. His alcohol consumption is down but the previous week it was going through the roof. The only consistent behavior I see of late is agitation & resentment.

Also when he came back it's like someone told him to tell us off although with no job he has plenty of time to focus & obsess on various things, people and/or issues . Right now he just resents the family, before it was just complaining but now it is complete and utter resentment & anger. His thinking now has him convinced someone he sees a few times a year at family functions only caused relationship problems and break ups.

I thought I had seen pretty much everything to this point but he has taken it to entirely new levels of resentment especially. This is a half century old man with gray hair acting like a spiteful teenager.

I needed to vent. I didn't engage except for a few comments focused strictly on the complaints and kept it short & calm. Normally I'd say thanks for lending me your ear but I will thank you for your eye balls and time.

End Of Rant



.

CodeJob

It is a quagmire. If it's literally the same old, same old - I stop it , identify that it's a total repeat rant, and walk away.

Sungrl

Aren't people on steroids (and other misc, drugs) extremely dangerous when angry?

Remind me why you still involve this person in your life?

thequest

Since other family members have kept them in the picture I have little choice other than to control personal dealings. But like a child if I or others say no they know who to go to for sympathy if nothing else. And that's the problem from family anyway, trying to get everyone on the same page ie no enabling and actually calling them out. Although he's getting called out by people I never expected they still seem to be quite sympathetic. Some are saying that he should never been allowed to go bankrupt and yet these same people never offered to pay his bills which were not mortgage or rent.

I've seen the blow ups and moodiness before but the blow ups are lasting longer along with even fowler moods. So has the blame game as mentioned. Something's getting ready to give here: either a bottom or a head first dive into flat out criminal who cares behavior which he has been flirting with for decades anyway-that I know of.

Refiner

And why is he taking steroids? Those are known to make a person VERY aggressive and agitated. No wonder it's reached new heights. I'd be very careful!

JOIE12

sounds like some narcissism mixed in .....

thequest

Warning diatribish

Ego I guess. Middle age crisis. Arrogance. He always must be "the man" wether it's the gym, bar or any physical endeavor. He's a graying half century old man hanging out with a much younger crowd, especially now since he has seemed to have dropped his same age older friends several of which have called him out on his behavior.

He over prioritizes appearance wether it's fashion or looks. He has more toiletries & grooming products than a Hollywood movie star has in their dressing room. He is on anti bald drugs. His appearance obsession not only is buying tight enough clothes to show his muscles but he blames his decade of unemployment on the lack of different name brand suits for interviews yet his resume has enormous gaps and problems and he's tried dressing that up with fabrications.

Also when there is a steroid cheating story he doesn't look at it as a scandal but rather a "how to" manual. He actually tries to rationalize their use. Since he thinks he is the smartest guy in the room he thinks he can beat the system . He actually thinks he can drink & drug because "he" knows what he is doing. I think he thinks the steroids will help offset the effects/consequences of drinking and drugging.

I think the steroids have helped prevent or delay a physical alcohol or drug bottom simply by keeping him going. And just like he wants his appearance doesn't appear to be that of a drug & alcohol abuser. To me it's prolonging things along with building up a supply of consequences.

hopeful4

I am dying here. I'm sorry, it's not funny. It's just that unemployment b/c of lack of different name brand suits for interviews!!! Holy cow, this needs to go on the quackers thread! I have now heard it all! At least he is creative.......

Hugs to you.

thequest

I kid you not. Oh how I wish I was exaggerating. He takes it further saying you should have a different suit each succeeding pre employment interview or contact with the company. Told him to change things like a shirt & tie. Pffft. He thinks even if you go for administrative stuff with an HR person you should dress different. But again his resume has glaring gaps. AND he has searchable back ground issues from court/public records. He considers himself a manager/hot shot consultant for hire in waiting.

Part of the problem he not only uses clichés he thinks he can live them. He loves to toss the word "professional" around. He frequently says things like 'dress for success', 'aim high' etc. A business venture failed in part because he refused to use free or cheap software to make a website himself. Said it wouldn't look "professional". He also said when he made more money he would have a website "professionally" done. But how can one get enough customers to make money without an internet presence or a website???

Also note he refuses generics or off brands in general. He's the same way with gym attire. His strategy seems to be capture everyone's attention with first impressions. He thinks he can talk his way into or out of any situation.

hopeful4

Oh my.....he sounds like he is full of "professional" bull crap. Sigh.


Hugs to you!

Vale

The problem is, always has been, and always will be...

....that people (especially accomplished people)

....see right through bullcrap.

zoso77

Is it possible to show him the door?

Sungrl

Honey seriously he sounds like a complete whackado!

I second the showing of the door.