Lily1918

AH is getting released from prison in less than 3 months and his q uacking and promises have intensified. Every letter is full of things like:

*I'm looking forward to this new step in my life
*I can't wait to go back to school
*I'm never coming back here
*I've managed to stay clean in here, so if I continue my program when I get out then hopefully I can do the same out there
*I know that they will send me straight back if I fail even one UA
*I signed up for SB 1291 because it will keep me accountable

Need I go on!?! To be fair... This is his 3rd time getting clean in an institution, and the longest stretch of being clean ever. He is in the states only "treatment facility" the program there is as good as it gets in prison. It's set up just like rehab at the Salvation Army or Teen Challenge. The only difference is that the residents can't leave whenever they want. The 1291 he is referring to is an outpatient program. It requires a certain number of meetings per week, and job applications, weekly UAs, two 1hour sessions per week with an addictions counsellor, and there is a 12 step sponsor assigned to him in addition to his parole officer.

It seems like a good plan. I personally believe that outpatient services after my own detox really helped me get on my feet. He has never done outpatient before.

Maybe he REALLY doesn't want to go back to prison. Maybe he really does want to come home... Maybe...n

I don't know what the point of this post is... I just wanted to get it all out.

greeteachday

I personally don't think there is anything wrong with hoping this time is the right time. Hope without expectation to me is not a bad thing. It's expectations and trying to control other folks that always bring me down. I wish isn't wasn't the case that so many of our addicted loved ones do best in a controlled environment where it isn't easy to make a choice to use.

I totally get where you are coming from...Glad you recognize that the best course is probably to keep your side of the street clean and let him own what he does next. I hope it's all good!

Ann

His plan sounds solid, it will be his actions that will be an indicator of his sincerity. I hope and pray that he will embrace sobriety outside even more than he does inside.

I agree with Greet, it is good to hope and even find joy in their efforts to really change their lives. It's hard not to attach expectations, but not as hard if you have your own plan in place of how you want to live your future.

It is great that these programs are available to those who need and want them. I pray he hangs on to them and does the work involved in keeping his sobriety.

Hugs

Lily1918

I have so much doubt it is rediculous. I honestly don't believe a word of it!!! Am I cold hearted? I do have expectations. I'm expecting him to fail his parole. I'm expecting the revolving door to keep spinning.

Maybe I'm becoming cold hearted. But I'll believe it when I see it. He reminds me of myself when I talk about buying a summer cabin up north "someday"

He has never done well once he got out of rehab in the past, why would he now? Still... I will wait and see... but from a bit further distance this time.

I'm nervous that I will see the signs and not want to cut him off when I should.

FeelingGreat

Not predicting anything, but it does take some people a long time to 'get it' so let's hope third time's a charm.

I hope you can control your own reactions if you see him begin to stray.

Lily1918

I hope so too. I have been such a sissy with boundaries in the past, and all this time the DOC has kept those boundaries for me. It's almost game time now.

I am at least confident that if he falls it will be obvious. Using does look like using after all.

JOIE12

this is the line that made me uncomfortable .... the 'if' is there for a reason.