zoso77

So my niece just graduated from IOP. I'm guessing she's got somewhere in the vicinity of 120 days sober. Not out of the woods by any means (and in likelihood will never be), but she's done all the things to do to minimize the probability of relapse.

Note the choice of words: "minimize". That said, I'm proud of her.

Her dad, my brother, on the other hand, was up late last month. Some of you may remember that both my niece and her mom told me in no uncertain terms my brother's a highly functioning alcoholic.

And how did I spend time with my brother?

Easy. We got together with our two other brothers, went to dinner, had a great meal, indulged in Remy XO, then went back to one of my brothers' house and killed a fresh bottle of Lagavulin 16 year old single malt.

Needless to say, I was totally wrecked by the end of that evening. So were my other brothers.

What was strange throughout the evening was my level of awareness. I love spending time with my brothers. I also love really good cognac and scotch. And it's amazing how easy it was for me to "slip into character" and go with the flow. I haven't told my other two brothers what my niece and my sister in law told me. Nor will I. And yet, it was incredibly easy for me to compartmentalize. It was a very pleasant form of denial, because the alternative -- calling him out -- isn't in the cards.

There is nothing I can do to help my brother, realistically speaking. There is nothing I can do to change what my brother does. And I'm fine with that. He doesn't have to answer to me. There may come a day, however, that he'll pay some sort of price for what he's doing. What that price is, I don't know. All I know is that it's his price, not mine.

At any rate...in eight days, my arse is going to be on Longboat Key for a long weekend. It's going to be my first chance to truly and completely unplug from life in a very, very long time. And I can't wait.

CarmenLove

Glad your niece is doing well and enjoy your trip Sozo.

hopeful4

Zoso...I am so happy for your niece. Good for her!

I understand what you mean about being able to compartmentalize. I have a friend who drinks way too much, but b/c I don't see there is anything I can do about it, I just put it in the back of my mind. Disturbing.

I will wish you in advance a wonderful trip!!!!

Ann

Zoso, I am pleased that your niece seems to be embracing a life of sobriety and my prayers continue for her as she faces using her recovery tools in the real world.

Longboat Key is among my favourite places in Florida, although I quite like the shopping at St, Armand's circle...and yes there are shops that are affordable, you just have to seek them out.

Enjoy your vacation, you deserve a break and the sunshine is waiting for you.

Hugs

zoso77

Ann, I know Sarasota intimately, including St. Armand's Circle. Which means I'm probably going to hit the Tommy Bahama lounge for drinks, the Tommy Bahama store for clothes, and Kilwin's for toasted coconut ice cream and fudge to bring home.

I'm going to eat at Ruth's Criss one night, the Mediterraneo the next (I'm meeting my brother and my nephew that night), and (if I can sit in the lounge) Michael's On East the night after that.

The rest of the time, I'm working on my tan and swimming in the Gulf.

Jorgenss

Have a great trip! Kilwin's is amazing! 😃