gforecoveringca

Ok its been a long time since I've been here but I have once again found myself between a rock and hard place. More so with my heart and brain. Im not asking if I should leave because thats not an option im willing to explore at the moment. My life with my boyfriend has been better than ever until recently. My boyfriend is a crack addict who has been clean for a good while until last week. Which im not sure he actually did then either since he did not spend all his money around $200 or less he would normally spend everything he has. I've been finding backpage on his phone a lot. He says he just gets on there never actually talks to them even tho when he was using he said he would call them and mess w them on the phone just to do it. He swore he would not get back on it then Friday night 12 am a girl calls from the same area he has been working says she had the wrong number but lets face it.... same area code?! So I get on backpage and put the number in the search box and what do ya know the prostitute pops up. My head knows he cheated even if he didnt do it thats cheating but that little idiot voice in my head says maybe its not true. Any advice on my denial and getting him to be honest im so hurt. I have emotional issues and bipolar on top of everything so I am delicate to this please no putting me down

ella213

I'm so sorry you're in this situation.

Whether or not he's cheating or using, you will always be wondering if he's cheating or using. He's done those things before, and unless he's made DRASTIC life changes, you have no reason to believe he won't do them again.

I don't know you and can only speak for myself, but I'm in a situation similar to yours - We just went through another "good" period, life was so normal! And then last week, the relapse.

I'm learning to have no expectations of my AH. I'm done riding the rollercoaster of his addiction. I'm focusing on me, my needs, my child, and God. I stopped checking my AH's phone or counting his money. I stopped checking his car for drugs.

I stopped speculating or asking him whether he was using. If I want to know, I drug test him. And if it's positive several times in a row, he has to move out. Again.

Take care of YOU. Focus on YOUR needs. Do things YOU enjoy that don't involve him. You are responsible for your own happiness! Prayers coming your way!! =)