From tolerance/enabling to frustration/anger to pity?

Old 02-20-2015, 10:14 AM
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From tolerance/enabling to frustration/anger to pity?

Rant alert. Vent of frustration

Friends & family have gone from tolerating/enabling to questioning/challenging the alkie/addict on things like no job, no progess or change in their life.

Family in particular has gone from tolerance(hoping it was a phase), enabling directly or indirectly and finally anger and frustration at his situation. They finally called him out on no job, even people with previous issue themselves are calling him out.

His "secret" of no job is out in the open now. For YEARS he tried posing as a professional manager waiting for a job, a business consultant or entrepreneur who still actively seeks money for schemes and personal gain. He refuses to take even a part-time job just to pay for smart cell phone he wants.

The no job thing is frustrating. For starters he had around two years notice his job location was being closed since he was in management. He did nothing to find another job during that time, no resume work, applications or job search. He demolished a generous severance in a year on his old life style of partying, drinking, drugging and spending without thought. He also starting sticking people for money with a bankruptcy.

He is currently being enabled by a new set of friends who think alike or have pity on him. Family is swinging from anger to pity because they think his personal habits and issues are so bad he will not be able to care of himself. Pity has led to some indirect financial support after it was cut off AND tolerating fall down can't pronounce words drinking-"oh, good to see him laugh"

I'm holding firm so I think some are doing it to spite me so I try to keep my mouth shut but at this point the problem one's behavior literally parallels that of a grifter you see on one of those true crime shows with a down and outer telling exploiting peoples good nature.

Im hoping this latest batch of new friends will see his true colors. When his old longtime friends called him out or question him that really angers him to the point of cutting ties and them cutting support(one less place to stay) Hopefully the next attempt to convince them get a job will not end in disaster.

Just a rant of frustration.
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Old 02-20-2015, 12:27 PM
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Ann
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It is painful to watch anyone we love self-destruct with drugs, and worse when others enable and laugh as if it's just a party and fun. Drugs kill, drugs destroy families and leaves chaos in the path of anyone who uses.

It's painful but there is nothing you can do to stop the circus and make it leave town.

Venting here is a good way to let off steam. Meetings have helped many of us learn to take care of ourselves and let go of the need to fix someone who doesn't want fixing.

My heart goes out to you, I've been to that circus and was not amused by the clowns.

Hugs
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Old 02-20-2015, 01:54 PM
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Yikes.

I've been to that circus and was not amused by the clowns.
Yeah, that sums it up. Be strong.
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