Hope7726

I regularly read both here and the F&F of Alcoholics forum. I've noticed, and I'm sure it's been brought up before, that F&F of alcoholics appear to make angrier posts than we do here. We definitely get angry as well, but it seems like a lot of our posts are about how fearful we are for our addicts. Why do you think that is?

Spacegoat

Because drunken behavior is extremely tactless, totally wreckless and has an unrivaled quality of p*ssing people off about it...

...I'd imagine!? Good point though. I'd love to hear what others think

Hope7726

So is the behavior of a drug addict!

All I can think is maybe because most of us have tried alcohol we can easily say, stop effing around and put down the bottle! Whereas a lot of us haven't tried illegal drugs and may even find them a bit frightening.

Spacegoat

Depends on the drug I guess. I know some serious addicts do dubious things to get their fix, I have never really known one personally.

I can only speak from my own experience, I know I have never p*ssed anyone off by smoking a few joints, taking e's or having good times on LSD for example. But those are not addictive drugs. I have however, managed to p*ss of a lot of people with my drunken antics, anyone who would care to take an interest in fact.

Which is too many people almost. Well you wouldn't want be here over xmas during my relapse with alcohol I think, I'd imagine that was scary but I don't remember anything which makes it even scarier again. People have generally more control and awareness of their actions on drugs compared to alcohol would be my best guess answer to your question… (I can get quite nasty on drink, but never with drugs e.g.)

hopeful4

I post on both forums. I don't think the other one is more angry. I do see more parents on this side, which is going to be more concern I would say than it being a partner.

Just my .02

Spacegoat

I just realize this is in an F & F forum so apologies. I still stand by my point about alcohols innate ability to p*ss people off and cause total carnage though! Like no other. My 2cents, peace

Lily1918

I agree. I also see more parents on this side. IMHO I believe it is because drug addiction is so much more taboo than alcoholism, even though the function of the two are the same. Society as a whole will tolerate a drunkard more than an addict. I believe that there are many who have what they believe to be firm boundaries when it comes to drugs, and blurred boundaries with alcohol. I have experienced this myself waaay back when I was younger and more.... "idealistic"

For example:

A college student who binges at the bar every weekend is "going through a phase" It is seen as a right of passage.

A college student who binges on heroin, however, needs an intervention. No questions asked.

If there is more anger on the other side, Im not saying there is, perhaps it is because sometimes loved ones recieve responses of denial from society:
" It's just beer " etc and so on.

Sadly, there does not seem to be a "not even once" mentality with alcohol. Their situation is dismissed as "not that bad" This attitude hurts them. I know it hurt me. I shouldn't generalize the way I do.

Anger is always secondary. In my own wrestles with anger, it usually stems from pain, isolation, fear, or disrespect.

Lovenjoy

the title caught my eye as this is something i think about often. i don't know about the anger but to me there is a difference in the addictions themselves which i think impacts our codie behaviors...

i'm a recovering alcoholic with an adult child who is an addict. when i was in alanon a while back a woman spoke about finding a beer. this struck me with the differences i was struggling with. i know alcoholism is a real struggle for all. yet drug addiction, imho, is just scarier. when someone has a beer the chances of imminent death are minimal. each and every time an addict uses there is the chance of imminent death...

add the fact that most drugs are illegal and many get involved in illegal activities to acquire their doc and associate with dangerous people and it just gets scarier and scarier. so on the codie side i think we experience more fear than anger. just my 2 cents.

i am not trying to minimize the impact of alcoholism..... drug addiction just scares me more.

Seren

I've posted on both sides, too. And I do believe what you are seeing has more to do with the type of relationship (parental vs. spouse/bf/gf).

I've never been married to an addict or alcoholic, but alcoholism runs in my maternal line (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.), my sister is a recovering alcoholic and powder cocaine addict, and my stepson is an alcoholic, crack addict, and polysubstance abuser.

thequest

I think many know people doing multiple things at the same time including alcohol. They just post under particular thread because that's what they think that's what the main problem is. I've seen the alkie eventually go hard core drugs and the addict use alcohol to extremes as well. If alcohol is the known or obvious issue they think they have figured it out.

Kimmilynn

Because as non-addicts we rank the DOC's subconsciously and deem alcohol to be less dangerous since it's legal. If I knew ton of people of casually did heroin, it'd probably be easier to be angry over worried.

Hawks

Besides addiction to substances there is addiction to emotions. Anger becomes an addiction in and of itself.

Our bodies release chemicals in a "fight or flight" response.

A psychiatrist I used to see called it the "tiger response".... In other words, we think that we are about to literally get eaten alive by a tiger and so the response is a huge rush of chemicals and the ensuing heightened emotions and anger ensues.

But when we stop and coldly analyse what is really going on, it can be something very benign, like a disagreement or some words or misunderstanding..... Anything really.

The underlying problem becomes insignificant and the "tiger response " kicks in and become habitual and entrenched.

The antidote of course is to ask ourselves "are there any tigers? "

No, someone is just being a dick, or angry or whatever and my life is under no threat whatsoever and move on.

dionysos803

Interesting topic..ive recently started looking through the substance abuse section (in addition to the alcohol sections) as ive recently learned my brother is using meth( he lives with our AF).

Theres been a lot of great points made above. I'd have to say ots because of the endured amount of time we deal with those that are addicted.

when it comes to drugs we are aware there is a problem much sooner than when accepting a person has a problem with alcohol.

I think we endure longer terms of abuse from alcholics than drug addicts. At first it was hard to recognize the abuse we received from the alvholisalvholic in our lives. Compaired to that of my brother and his extreme mood swings and anger that are much more noticable.

Twofish

I've been thinking about this thread...
If I were to watch one of my RADs drink
a beer, something I recognize, know the
name brand and watched her open it, I'd get
mad & tell her to put it down the sink...she's not
honoring her sobriety.
If I were to watch one of my daughters, to
get a syringe out, get some powdery substance
out of a baggie and inject herself, I would most
likely FREAK, out of worry, the unknown.
Beer, heroin or pills. My daughters have to avoid
them for the rest of their lives.
Yes, I would be way more concerned over the unknown,
but concerned over the "known" too.
TF

mejo

Yeah, I tolerated drink for years, although it was a HUGE issue in our marriage. Then life changed at a blink of an eye. Meth. Wow, blown away. Then I remember just wishing I could have back all the fights about drinking. I would have done anything to deal with that again. Drugs was scary and still is. Maybe it is the "just say no" that was drilled in my head. But it is like dealing with his drunken behavior 24/7. At least when he drank he would pass out and things would go back to normal for a time. Not with drugs.