Pharmaceutical Addiction, Abuse, & Concrete Steps
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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Posts: 164
Pharmaceutical Addiction, Abuse, & Concrete Steps
Hi all,
My cousin, who lives with my immediate family, is very severely addicted to several pharmaceuticals. It's been going on for years and I've been waiting for him to hit his bottom. But the consequences have become very destructive towards other people now, and it keeps getting worse.
Hes prescribed very high doses of adderall, vyvanse, and ativan, and I only know this because I've done a little snooping in the past. That, combined with what he's told me, which is at least 50% lies. He's also transformed entirely. He's become psychopathic, abusive, and suicidal.
He also very clearly has some type of underlying, untreated mental illness that's a volatile and terrifying mixture with these drugs. Serious verbal and emotional abuse, outbursts of rage and hateful words, and recently, breaking stuff. Last time I saw him the rage bordered on physical violence and I left because I didn't feel safe, i.e. I almost got really harmed physically while he was in an adderall and alcohol induced rage. I've been advised not to be alone around my cousin, for my physical safety, and I think that's right. I don't feel safe around him.
I took a "red flags of psychopathy" screening for him online, and every red flag is flying high. I think it's because of the drugs combined with whatever mental illness(es) he has.
It's obvious to me, as a family member, that 1) he's blatantly lying to his psychiatrist (he's very intelligent, and very good at being charming when he wants to be) and 2) that his psychiatrist loves writing prescriptions.
It's also obvious to me that he needs to be involuntarily committed to get the help he needs. Not just for the substances, but more importantly, for the mental disorders underlying all of this. He needs real help.
Because he's unable to manipulate me into enabling his addiction and related behaviors any longer, and because I've detached myself and my energy from our relationship long ago (but without ceasing expressing my love), he searches for every reason he can find to cut me down. He's been trying everything to turn me into a tool he can use. He has no empathy, but he guilt trips me for having no empathy. Everything he says to me about me sounds like he's really talking more about himself-- classic case of projection-- but that doesn't mean I'm not deeply hurt. He knows how to push my buttons, and how to hit below the belt. He depicts me as a monster for, essentially, refusing to be fuel to his narcissism/psychopathy/addiction fire.
I've been loving and supportive as much as I can, but I also need to protect myself from his psychopathy, abuse, and addiction. This happens mainly by staying away from him. But he's destroying my family and himself, and he's suicidal. I know better than to try to come between someone and their addiction, so I'm focusing more on intervening on the mental illness and suicidal part. But something needs to be done.
I've toyed with several ideas of what to do:
1) Calling the police (but the suicidal statements aren't enough of a threat legally to have him arrested and committed)
2) Contacting his psychiatrist and making the whole thing the psychiatrist's responsibility. The upside is that he's the one who gives the prescriptions, so he has more power in this situation than anyone. I could print out the verbally abusive text messages, some of which probably reveal lies the dr has been told. (Supposedly, this dr knows all about me....which is funny, because even my family member hasn't listened to me, asked me about my life, or showed any desire to have an actual reciprocal relationship, ever since he became an addict 10+ years ago. He literally lives in a world of make-believe, where he constructs images of himself and the people in his life, and conducts his life accordingly.)
The plus side of contacting his dr is that I could also share the suicidal messages, which are also in writing, with the dr. I wonder if the dr would have the power to have him involuntarily committed?
But can I even trust this dr to do that? I trust Mickey Mouse's judgement over his, considering that he's a so-called "professional" who's been directly enabling this combustible mixture of mental illness and addiction for years. And keeps writing the prescriptions.
Also: If I do try to meet with the doctor, would he charge me?
Option 3) Push my cousin's buttons by being kind and loving and showing up (the things that make him angriest of all), keep letting the abuse and addiction degenerate until he hits some type of bottom, perhaps in the form of a more concrete suicide threat (bringing me to option 1) or another form of rock bottom that would bring him to commit himself voluntarily. He's mentioned it, and I think he knows he needs it.
I have to stress here that for various reasons I can't mention here, doing nothing and just letting him hit his bottom on his own is no longer an option here. He's become too dangerous, and his actions are affecting my family in ways that are too destructive to continue and that warrant immediate, urgent treatment. He needs to be removed from the situation and receive real care. And he won't talk to me, or listen to me, and I'm not safe around him, so I need to do something behind the scenes. If nothing else, then to stop him from harming himself, me, and other family members any further.
My cousin, who lives with my immediate family, is very severely addicted to several pharmaceuticals. It's been going on for years and I've been waiting for him to hit his bottom. But the consequences have become very destructive towards other people now, and it keeps getting worse.
Hes prescribed very high doses of adderall, vyvanse, and ativan, and I only know this because I've done a little snooping in the past. That, combined with what he's told me, which is at least 50% lies. He's also transformed entirely. He's become psychopathic, abusive, and suicidal.
He also very clearly has some type of underlying, untreated mental illness that's a volatile and terrifying mixture with these drugs. Serious verbal and emotional abuse, outbursts of rage and hateful words, and recently, breaking stuff. Last time I saw him the rage bordered on physical violence and I left because I didn't feel safe, i.e. I almost got really harmed physically while he was in an adderall and alcohol induced rage. I've been advised not to be alone around my cousin, for my physical safety, and I think that's right. I don't feel safe around him.
I took a "red flags of psychopathy" screening for him online, and every red flag is flying high. I think it's because of the drugs combined with whatever mental illness(es) he has.
It's obvious to me, as a family member, that 1) he's blatantly lying to his psychiatrist (he's very intelligent, and very good at being charming when he wants to be) and 2) that his psychiatrist loves writing prescriptions.
It's also obvious to me that he needs to be involuntarily committed to get the help he needs. Not just for the substances, but more importantly, for the mental disorders underlying all of this. He needs real help.
Because he's unable to manipulate me into enabling his addiction and related behaviors any longer, and because I've detached myself and my energy from our relationship long ago (but without ceasing expressing my love), he searches for every reason he can find to cut me down. He's been trying everything to turn me into a tool he can use. He has no empathy, but he guilt trips me for having no empathy. Everything he says to me about me sounds like he's really talking more about himself-- classic case of projection-- but that doesn't mean I'm not deeply hurt. He knows how to push my buttons, and how to hit below the belt. He depicts me as a monster for, essentially, refusing to be fuel to his narcissism/psychopathy/addiction fire.
I've been loving and supportive as much as I can, but I also need to protect myself from his psychopathy, abuse, and addiction. This happens mainly by staying away from him. But he's destroying my family and himself, and he's suicidal. I know better than to try to come between someone and their addiction, so I'm focusing more on intervening on the mental illness and suicidal part. But something needs to be done.
I've toyed with several ideas of what to do:
1) Calling the police (but the suicidal statements aren't enough of a threat legally to have him arrested and committed)
2) Contacting his psychiatrist and making the whole thing the psychiatrist's responsibility. The upside is that he's the one who gives the prescriptions, so he has more power in this situation than anyone. I could print out the verbally abusive text messages, some of which probably reveal lies the dr has been told. (Supposedly, this dr knows all about me....which is funny, because even my family member hasn't listened to me, asked me about my life, or showed any desire to have an actual reciprocal relationship, ever since he became an addict 10+ years ago. He literally lives in a world of make-believe, where he constructs images of himself and the people in his life, and conducts his life accordingly.)
The plus side of contacting his dr is that I could also share the suicidal messages, which are also in writing, with the dr. I wonder if the dr would have the power to have him involuntarily committed?
But can I even trust this dr to do that? I trust Mickey Mouse's judgement over his, considering that he's a so-called "professional" who's been directly enabling this combustible mixture of mental illness and addiction for years. And keeps writing the prescriptions.
Also: If I do try to meet with the doctor, would he charge me?
Option 3) Push my cousin's buttons by being kind and loving and showing up (the things that make him angriest of all), keep letting the abuse and addiction degenerate until he hits some type of bottom, perhaps in the form of a more concrete suicide threat (bringing me to option 1) or another form of rock bottom that would bring him to commit himself voluntarily. He's mentioned it, and I think he knows he needs it.
I have to stress here that for various reasons I can't mention here, doing nothing and just letting him hit his bottom on his own is no longer an option here. He's become too dangerous, and his actions are affecting my family in ways that are too destructive to continue and that warrant immediate, urgent treatment. He needs to be removed from the situation and receive real care. And he won't talk to me, or listen to me, and I'm not safe around him, so I need to do something behind the scenes. If nothing else, then to stop him from harming himself, me, and other family members any further.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I am so so sorry. I cannot even imagine the stress this has to cause.
Some may not agree with me here, but here is my .02 of what I would do.
Because of patient confidentiality, you cannot speak to his doctor, or rather, he is not going to speak to you. I would send a fax over with a letter from yourself and any supporting documents you may have to his psychiatrist. Stress on the cover page that you are concerned and know he or she would not be so negligent as to do nothing. That should do the trick with the dr.
Have you or your family ever staged any sort of intervention? Rarely does it help someone with this bad of issues, but it may be possible if not tried before. The fact it, mental illness untreated or abused is a terrible thing for a family to deal with. You may have to take action in that you may have to call the police.
I am so sorry. Tight hugs.
Some may not agree with me here, but here is my .02 of what I would do.
Because of patient confidentiality, you cannot speak to his doctor, or rather, he is not going to speak to you. I would send a fax over with a letter from yourself and any supporting documents you may have to his psychiatrist. Stress on the cover page that you are concerned and know he or she would not be so negligent as to do nothing. That should do the trick with the dr.
Have you or your family ever staged any sort of intervention? Rarely does it help someone with this bad of issues, but it may be possible if not tried before. The fact it, mental illness untreated or abused is a terrible thing for a family to deal with. You may have to take action in that you may have to call the police.
I am so sorry. Tight hugs.
suffering is not a requirement
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: rising above the ashes
Posts: 147
Hello Clementia,
I Am sorry to hear abt your situation. I have been through some very horrific abusive situations with my EXhusband.
I sought help for myself. I learned alot from Counselors who specificallly deal with abuse. Maybe you could find one close to you?
I am only speaking for myself, but hoping to help you. I have learned that just because I love someone does not give them a right to abuse me..whether it is physically, emotionally, or verbally.
I was very good at minimizing the abuse. Always thinking he loves me and believing he wouldn't do it again.
Hon, when they begin breaking things, throwing things, that's just the start. Your gut is telling you to be fearful for a good reason. I'm scared for you.
Someone said something to me once that really made me stop and think..."What would you do if a stranger came into your home and treated you like he does and acts the way he does?"
My answer was, "I definitley would kick him out."
You can also call the nearest mental hospital and find about having him 302ed(committed),
' Highly Stress' to them that he is a danger to himself and everyone else in the household and explain everything that you shared with us.
I pray for the best.
Hugs,
Iamunique
I Am sorry to hear abt your situation. I have been through some very horrific abusive situations with my EXhusband.
I sought help for myself. I learned alot from Counselors who specificallly deal with abuse. Maybe you could find one close to you?
I am only speaking for myself, but hoping to help you. I have learned that just because I love someone does not give them a right to abuse me..whether it is physically, emotionally, or verbally.
I was very good at minimizing the abuse. Always thinking he loves me and believing he wouldn't do it again.
Hon, when they begin breaking things, throwing things, that's just the start. Your gut is telling you to be fearful for a good reason. I'm scared for you.
Someone said something to me once that really made me stop and think..."What would you do if a stranger came into your home and treated you like he does and acts the way he does?"
My answer was, "I definitley would kick him out."
You can also call the nearest mental hospital and find about having him 302ed(committed),
' Highly Stress' to them that he is a danger to himself and everyone else in the household and explain everything that you shared with us.
I pray for the best.
Hugs,
Iamunique
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Clementia,
I know a woman whose son became violently schizophrenic, but it seemed to start with his adderal abuse in college. I took mental illness courses last summer with her and several others, a NAMI course. We learned there that adderal can bring on some serious side effects when abused.
I sure hope you can get all of his symptoms and his prescriptions to his doctor. Anyone taking all of those things is in danger.
I know a woman whose son became violently schizophrenic, but it seemed to start with his adderal abuse in college. I took mental illness courses last summer with her and several others, a NAMI course. We learned there that adderal can bring on some serious side effects when abused.
I sure hope you can get all of his symptoms and his prescriptions to his doctor. Anyone taking all of those things is in danger.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 258
Psychiatrists are board-certified. Maybe contact the local board of psychiatrists for advice. Mental health care is supposed to become more patient and therefore family centred, so they should be able to advise you in terms of co-operation with his attending doc and other local mental healthcare providers and the police.
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