my little sister is addicted to heroin and my mom isn't doing anything to help her
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: boston ma
Posts: 2
my little sister is addicted to heroin and my mom isn't doing anything to help her
Hi everyone! I am so glad I found this forum, I am new here, and I feel I have nowhere else to go as far as expressing my fears and feelings about my little sister 
I have 2 little sisters, who both live across the country along with my mother. My 21 year old sister has been addicted to heroin for quite some time now. Unfortunetly I have heard she is now shooting up. I am devastated by this news, and I have lost quite a few friends from this addiction. I have no idea what i'm suppose to do I feel as a sister I have to help her but i am so far away it is frustrating. My mother is ENABLING my sister. She thinks by sheltering her she will be okay. For instance i will be on the phone with my mother, and every moment my sister tries to go out my mother yells you are not allowed to go anywhere, or be back home in 20 mins, and if she isn't she freaks out. This is no way for a 21 year old to live. My mother will not put her into a rehab because they do not have insurance at the moment. She has said multiple times she was going to move out here where I am to get her away from the drugs and people she's hanging around with. But she hasn't moved yet. My mother is addicted to pills. She supplies my sister with pills a lot of times so she doesn't get "sick" My mother thinks if they do move out here she will just put my sister on methadone. How is this okay for a 21 year old? Am I wrong when I say she should be detoxing and trying to get clean of all drugs? I am so lost... I am tired of telling my mother what to do... No one listens and I feel like i'm losing my sister She looks so thin, pale, and horrible... my other sister and I have confronted her and she denies everything. ... I hear stories about her constantly nodding out around my niece, around my mother, around my sister... Its seriously sad... IF anyone can just send some advice I would GREATLY appreciate it... I don't want to lose my sister to this...And I wish my mom would do something.. Even tho I know she can't force my sister to get help she can sure as hell try... thanks
I have 2 little sisters, who both live across the country along with my mother. My 21 year old sister has been addicted to heroin for quite some time now. Unfortunetly I have heard she is now shooting up. I am devastated by this news, and I have lost quite a few friends from this addiction. I have no idea what i'm suppose to do I feel as a sister I have to help her but i am so far away it is frustrating. My mother is ENABLING my sister. She thinks by sheltering her she will be okay. For instance i will be on the phone with my mother, and every moment my sister tries to go out my mother yells you are not allowed to go anywhere, or be back home in 20 mins, and if she isn't she freaks out. This is no way for a 21 year old to live. My mother will not put her into a rehab because they do not have insurance at the moment. She has said multiple times she was going to move out here where I am to get her away from the drugs and people she's hanging around with. But she hasn't moved yet. My mother is addicted to pills. She supplies my sister with pills a lot of times so she doesn't get "sick" My mother thinks if they do move out here she will just put my sister on methadone. How is this okay for a 21 year old? Am I wrong when I say she should be detoxing and trying to get clean of all drugs? I am so lost... I am tired of telling my mother what to do... No one listens and I feel like i'm losing my sister
She looks so thin, pale, and horrible... my other sister and I have confronted her and she denies everything. ... I hear stories about her constantly nodding out around my niece, around my mother, around my sister... Its seriously sad... IF anyone can just send some advice I would GREATLY appreciate it... I don't want to lose my sister to this...And I wish my mom would do something.. Even tho I know she can't force my sister to get help she can sure as hell try... thanks
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Welcome, bellakxo.
You can share here, and you will find understanding and wisdom from many who have had experience in what you are dealing with.
I am sorry... its so hard when you are in the middle of a situation like this.
Is your sister willing to go to rehab?
Can you find a group to join, for your own sanity?
Read the stickies here, at the top of the page.. there is much information on addiction here.
stick around. you will find help here.
You can share here, and you will find understanding and wisdom from many who have had experience in what you are dealing with.
I am sorry... its so hard when you are in the middle of a situation like this.
Is your sister willing to go to rehab?
Can you find a group to join, for your own sanity?
Read the stickies here, at the top of the page.. there is much information on addiction here.
stick around. you will find help here.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Bella,
Welcome to the Board. I'm glad you found us and took the time to post, and my hope is you'll allow us to support you during what is clearly a very difficult time.
I wish I had an easy answer for you regarding both your mother and your little sister. Unfortunately, when it comes to dealing with someone else's addiction, we're powerless. Only your AS can decide when she's done with heroin and follow that up with a course of action. And let's face it, Bella: she may be your little sister, but she's also an adult. You don't have to pay the price for her poor decisions.
But you will continue to pay a price if you keep trying to steer her towards treatment. She's not ready for it.
The best thing you can do for your AS and yourself is to back off and allow things to take their own course. That doesn't mean you don't love her, or you stop being concerned for her, or your stop wanting the best for her. What it does mean is you're not allow to allow her addiction to hold you hostage anymore.
Other members will be by to greet you, and I suspect they will more or less deliver the same message. Pay attention to what they tell you. And then, make a decision based on what's best for you.
Again, Welcome to the Board.
Welcome to the Board. I'm glad you found us and took the time to post, and my hope is you'll allow us to support you during what is clearly a very difficult time.
I wish I had an easy answer for you regarding both your mother and your little sister. Unfortunately, when it comes to dealing with someone else's addiction, we're powerless. Only your AS can decide when she's done with heroin and follow that up with a course of action. And let's face it, Bella: she may be your little sister, but she's also an adult. You don't have to pay the price for her poor decisions.
But you will continue to pay a price if you keep trying to steer her towards treatment. She's not ready for it.
The best thing you can do for your AS and yourself is to back off and allow things to take their own course. That doesn't mean you don't love her, or you stop being concerned for her, or your stop wanting the best for her. What it does mean is you're not allow to allow her addiction to hold you hostage anymore.
Other members will be by to greet you, and I suspect they will more or less deliver the same message. Pay attention to what they tell you. And then, make a decision based on what's best for you.
Again, Welcome to the Board.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Your sister is addicted to opiates. Your mom is also addicted to them or another drug. And your mom is addicted to your sister. That's 3 addictions you're up against and you won't win.
If you want to help your sister, all you can do is be prepared. Learn everything you can about her drug of choice, available treatments including ones you don't approve of, and learn about the effects on her brain/central nervous system. Learn how to stay out of her addiction and recovery, should she choose that path. Learn about loving detachment and how to demonstrate it to her.
Work the recovery program you wish she and your mom would, then go about living your life.
If you want to help your sister, all you can do is be prepared. Learn everything you can about her drug of choice, available treatments including ones you don't approve of, and learn about the effects on her brain/central nervous system. Learn how to stay out of her addiction and recovery, should she choose that path. Learn about loving detachment and how to demonstrate it to her.
Work the recovery program you wish she and your mom would, then go about living your life.
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