GardenMama

I just heard this on NPR this morning and thought of my SR friends, all of us who not only struggle with our beloved addicts, but all of us who doubt ourselves on this journey, who need a little boost when we get down on ourselves. This is a great one. It's not just about eating disorders, so keep listening!

Why Saying Is Believing ? The Science Of Self-Talk : Shots - Health News : NPR

MariahGayle

Thanks GardenMama.....I am practicing with positive affirmations daily & it makes a big difference in my thinking. Today's affirmation: "I am at ease & comfortable within myself". Repeated 4 or 5 times out loud or just in my head

Ann

GardenMama, I too use self-talk to say daily affirmations and also I sometimes talk to myself like I would anyone else here who shares an issue...I tell myself the same thing I tell them, and that's not always easy to swallow, lol, but it helps.

I also use it to repeat some of the slogans that help me..."easy does it" "one day at a time" "let go or be dragged" and a new favourite that I have heard our own Impurrfect/Amy use "Not my circus, not my monkeys" which is a reminder to mind my own business and not take on what is not mine to take. That one just tickled my fancy.

Hugs

GardenMama

I especially liked the outcome of research that showed a distinct difference when you use your own name or second person (you) rather than first person (I) because when we use "you," the perceived distance allows us to actually hear what we are telling ourselves. It reminds me of the subtle things we learn to do in recovery, how a minor shift in thinking or behaving can make a huge difference in how we deal with stress.

Last night at my meeting, a distraught father asked if we could help or give suggestions about how he can forgive his daughter, and he and she are both in very early recovery. I suggested he might try loving detachment first. He got a big grin on his face, realizing he was jumping ahead of himself. We all do that so often. We try to take on more than we can because we want it to be better, to be over, faster, etc. I feel the same about self-talk. Slow down and back up and tell yourself simple, positive things. Just a few things I have been thinking about this week...

Ann

You make a good point that the changes are small and subtle but somehow it all leads to one change that is the beginning of bigger changes that help keep our momentum moving forward. Keeping it simple helps us not become overwhelmed.

Hugs

SparkleKitty

I just read this quote the other day and while I think I already believed it, it resonated with me just now: "Self-criticism does not lead to positive change."

Hardly revolutionary, but a timely reminder for me right now.

AnvilheadII

one of my long ago AA mentors talked about the tapes we carry around with us and listen to. those tapes that said we aren't good enough, we'll never amount to anything, if we would only be more like <<them>>. it's like we're driving in a car and have a tape deck and a huge pile of old tapes in the back seat, and we just reach back, grab one, and slide it into the deck.

until we clean out all the OLD tapes and start to record some new ones, all we will hear is that old crap. and no matter how much self-talk we do, we can't compete.

recovery is about cleaning out those old tapes from the back seat....maybe not all at once, cuz who doesn't like an old tune now and then? but over time for each OLD negative tape we toss out, we replace it with a new one.

we might still from time to time, reach back and grab an old tape....leftover. but we know better than to listen to the whole thing....we hit the EJECT.

JOIE12

Thank you AnvilheadII, well said

AnvilheadII

thanks go to Les Dotson, my mentor, back in the late 80's, early 90's. he was a great guy, humble, funny, serious as hell about recovery. he opened and ran a sober club, hired me to manage the daytime coffee bar/drop in space as well as manage the dance club on the weekends. he also wrote and self-published a book "Big Boys and Girls Do Cry" which is out of print. he gave me some wonderful gifts, taught some long-lasting lessons.