Sungrl

The best way to support him is to give him space to work on himself. It is not the norm to become a 'substance' addict. He has to focus on that, and that alone right now.

If it makes you feel better buy yourself the care packages. You need that right now too. You are in for quite a ride.

URMYEVERYTHING

This is possible in any type of relationship (addict or no addict). This just screams out to me for some reason. We often times get caught up in the what ifs and the future when dealing with our addicted loved ones we forget to focus on the here and now. We start making this ideal image in our heads on what things will look like (3, 4, 5, 6 months) down the road and that's where we fail to take care of ourselves.

My suggestion would be to leave him alone and move on with your life. Fill your life with activities to keep yourself happy and occupied.

My major mistake I did when worrying about my addicted ex was just that- worrying about him. Worrying about his recovery and issues. I soon realized by posting here those weren't my issues to worry about.

I ultimately made the choice to leave him and move on. Although, I am still single (5-6 years later) he has moved on. He has found recovery (reportedly) and has remarried. Some of the same feelings resurfaced (anger, bitterness, etc) but then I realized "oh, that poor girl."

I just made the decision that I didn't want the chaos in my life any longer. I didn't want to live the rest of my life worrying about the future. Although, that wasn't his issue it wasn't fair to him to have a girlfriend either who didn't feel completely comfortable living and being with a recovering addict.