"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul"
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." (Emily Dickinson)
Tonight I sat and watched The Anonymous People (it's on Netflix!) with my RAD and her RABF who now have 60+ days clean & sober. How things change. To think a few months ago I felt quite violent toward the ABF, and he's been the instigator and leader in their recovery by going first, regardless of what she did. She stayed in treatment for 45 days, and has been home for two weeks while she arranged a second treatment center (insurance changes). She did not have to go--but she is choosing to go in for longer. I will bring her Monday morning and she'll be there a month or more. While home, she has attended 2-3 meetings a day, helped around the house, and there hasn't been one cross word between us. Her BF is in a sober house/treatment center and will live there for another couple of months.
What is different this time? We talk openly about her recovery, her feelings, my feelings, her plans/ideas for the future--college in January maybe, a job, etc. She has gained 20 pounds and looks healthy again. She smiles and gives me hugs. There is much more work to be done in her recovery from addiction, and then the layers of shame and regret and low-self esteem, but for now, I am one happy momma--extremely tired--but happy and hopeful.
The only hitch for me after Monday is that we can't seem to find someone who can take their dog temporarily...That is a small problem, considering, but it's frustrating me more than it should. I like other people's dogs just fine, but I don't want to care for one right now, and even if I did, there's not a consensus at my house with my other family members (including elderly in-laws). My daughter is working me, though, and really wants her dog here and not with "some strangers," but I feel like it is my limit--my boundary for what I am willing to do. It feels both trite of me and yet justified. So I am working on that.
Thanks for reading my update. It feels good to share our progress here on SR!
Tonight I sat and watched The Anonymous People (it's on Netflix!) with my RAD and her RABF who now have 60+ days clean & sober. How things change. To think a few months ago I felt quite violent toward the ABF, and he's been the instigator and leader in their recovery by going first, regardless of what she did. She stayed in treatment for 45 days, and has been home for two weeks while she arranged a second treatment center (insurance changes). She did not have to go--but she is choosing to go in for longer. I will bring her Monday morning and she'll be there a month or more. While home, she has attended 2-3 meetings a day, helped around the house, and there hasn't been one cross word between us. Her BF is in a sober house/treatment center and will live there for another couple of months.
What is different this time? We talk openly about her recovery, her feelings, my feelings, her plans/ideas for the future--college in January maybe, a job, etc. She has gained 20 pounds and looks healthy again. She smiles and gives me hugs. There is much more work to be done in her recovery from addiction, and then the layers of shame and regret and low-self esteem, but for now, I am one happy momma--extremely tired--but happy and hopeful.
The only hitch for me after Monday is that we can't seem to find someone who can take their dog temporarily...That is a small problem, considering, but it's frustrating me more than it should. I like other people's dogs just fine, but I don't want to care for one right now, and even if I did, there's not a consensus at my house with my other family members (including elderly in-laws). My daughter is working me, though, and really wants her dog here and not with "some strangers," but I feel like it is my limit--my boundary for what I am willing to do. It feels both trite of me and yet justified. So I am working on that.
Thanks for reading my update. It feels good to share our progress here on SR!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
That's great news. Maybe you daughter can check with some of her program friends about boarding the dog. There are bound to be some animal lovers at her meetings.
Headed to Netflix now to put that movie in my queue. Thanks!
Headed to Netflix now to put that movie in my queue. Thanks!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I am so happy your daughter has embraced recovery and doing so well. You made my heart smile, GardenMama.
I like the suggestion that maybe someone at her meetings could foster the dog for a while.
Hugs
I like the suggestion that maybe someone at her meetings could foster the dog for a while.
Hugs
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I have that quote in a framed picture in my room; it's one of my treasured possessions. I'm so happy for you all and I can feel that you are enjoying each precious moment with your daughter. Hold tight to those wonderful moments!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Gardenmama,
I too am so happy for you, treasure this time and the breakthrough and progress she has made! I have followed your journey with your RAD and I am filled with hope and joy!! Thanks for posting and keeping us up to date.
Don't focus on her dog...these small bumps in the road tend to smooth themselves out. Someone will step forward to help with the dog.
Prayers and hugs to such a wonderful mom (and daughter)
TF
I too am so happy for you, treasure this time and the breakthrough and progress she has made! I have followed your journey with your RAD and I am filled with hope and joy!! Thanks for posting and keeping us up to date.
Don't focus on her dog...these small bumps in the road tend to smooth themselves out. Someone will step forward to help with the dog.
Prayers and hugs to such a wonderful mom (and daughter)
TF
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
People in my house (including ME!) are calming down about the dog. She's quiet and although a nuisance to our cats, she is adjusting to us and loving my youngest daughter's attention. It will work out.
Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement and hallelujahs! I am so grateful for the support I find here.
Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement and hallelujahs! I am so grateful for the support I find here.
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