I Tried....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 52
I Tried....
i spent 6 months apart from my AXGF and then around Xmas time i broke, let her talk to me and we decided to give it another shot. things were great. we would talk, laugh, be in love again and have a semi normal relationship.
about 5 months in i started noticing the change. i started feeling like i had gotten back onto the all to familiar ride. she started becoming less available, anytime i was around her she would constantly fall asleep, or at least close her eyes. i knew all the signs so i started distancing myself. finally one day her mom finds track marks, another insanely scary thing because she had now gone from snorting to shooting...bringing it to a whole other level. the reason was she though that she could do dope again from time to time and it would be ok. instead it all spiraled all out of control, like usual.
so now were here...back again...today i called her and told how much i love her and how beautiful of a person that she is but i cant do it anymore. ive been through so much that all i want is a normal life and to be happy. the hardest thing is that i got a taste of how good it could be if she was just able to get everything together. i told her that i want to date her for who she is, not the person she wants to be.
for some reason though i have this insane feeling of guilt, like im abandoning her. and i know i def have co-dependant tendencies because i feel like im the one that can make her happy...save her..classic cod thinking.
the whole thing just sucks and makes me so sad that this ******* drug takes over the persons life and sucks everything out of them.
about 5 months in i started noticing the change. i started feeling like i had gotten back onto the all to familiar ride. she started becoming less available, anytime i was around her she would constantly fall asleep, or at least close her eyes. i knew all the signs so i started distancing myself. finally one day her mom finds track marks, another insanely scary thing because she had now gone from snorting to shooting...bringing it to a whole other level. the reason was she though that she could do dope again from time to time and it would be ok. instead it all spiraled all out of control, like usual.
so now were here...back again...today i called her and told how much i love her and how beautiful of a person that she is but i cant do it anymore. ive been through so much that all i want is a normal life and to be happy. the hardest thing is that i got a taste of how good it could be if she was just able to get everything together. i told her that i want to date her for who she is, not the person she wants to be.
for some reason though i have this insane feeling of guilt, like im abandoning her. and i know i def have co-dependant tendencies because i feel like im the one that can make her happy...save her..classic cod thinking.
the whole thing just sucks and makes me so sad that this ******* drug takes over the persons life and sucks everything out of them.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: AZ
Posts: 309
I am sorry you are going through this again. Addiction is a nasty thing to battle. Only until she is ready to let go of it will she be "the person that she is". But right now she IS being the person that she is...the addict.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 52
she is back in recovery. after her mom found the track marks she went in. went to florida and now she's trying to figure out her next move. but your right....she says shes feling better but who knows how long that will last for
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Originally Posted by theotherhalf 
i spent 6 months apart from my AXGF and then around Xmas time i broke, let her talk to me and we decided to give it another shot. things were great. we would talk, laugh, be in love again and have a semi normal relationship.
about 5 months in i started noticing the change. i started feeling like i had gotten back onto the all to familiar ride. she started becoming less available, anytime i was around her she would constantly fall asleep, or at least close her eyes. i knew all the signs so i started distancing myself. finally one day her mom finds track marks, another insanely scary thing because she had now gone from snorting to shooting...bringing it to a whole other level. the reason was she though that she could do dope again from time to time and it would be ok. instead it all spiraled all out of control, like usual.
so now were here...back again...today i called her and told how much i love her and how beautiful of a person that she is but i cant do it anymore. ive been through so much that all i want is a normal life and to be happy. the hardest thing is that i got a taste of how good it could be if she was just able to get everything together. i told her that i want to date her for who she is, not the person she wants to be.
for some reason though i have this insane feeling of guilt, like im abandoning her. and i know i def have co-dependant tendencies because i feel like im the one that can make her happy...save her..classic cod thinking.
the whole thing just sucks and makes me so sad that this ******* drug takes over the persons life and sucks everything out of them.
about 5 months in i started noticing the change. i started feeling like i had gotten back onto the all to familiar ride. she started becoming less available, anytime i was around her she would constantly fall asleep, or at least close her eyes. i knew all the signs so i started distancing myself. finally one day her mom finds track marks, another insanely scary thing because she had now gone from snorting to shooting...bringing it to a whole other level. the reason was she though that she could do dope again from time to time and it would be ok. instead it all spiraled all out of control, like usual.
so now were here...back again...today i called her and told how much i love her and how beautiful of a person that she is but i cant do it anymore. ive been through so much that all i want is a normal life and to be happy. the hardest thing is that i got a taste of how good it could be if she was just able to get everything together. i told her that i want to date her for who she is, not the person she wants to be.
for some reason though i have this insane feeling of guilt, like im abandoning her. and i know i def have co-dependant tendencies because i feel like im the one that can make her happy...save her..classic cod thinking.
the whole thing just sucks and makes me so sad that this ******* drug takes over the persons life and sucks everything out of them.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
the reason was she though that she could do dope again from time to time and it would be ok. instead it all spiraled all out of control, like usual.
for some reason though i have this insane feeling of guilt, like im abandoning her.
There comes a time when circumstances force us to make decisions we don't want to make. You took her back on the condition she'd take care of herself. She didn't hold her end of the bargain up, and you did what you had to do.
She is what she is. Ask yourself if this is really how you want to live your life.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
