STD testing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 26
STD testing
I'm pretty new here. I posted a couple of times in the wrong category but the responses were very good. I wish I could just copy my first post so I wouldn't have to write it again. So tired. Not enough sleep and drained from dealing with it all.
My current question is about experiences with STDs and STD testing. I only found out about "my man's" addiction last week so I'm still reeling. But because he has had this secret life of crack and prostitutes - for 11 yrs!!! - my counselor and the brother of my whatever / whoever he is, recommend a full STD workup. He has also had a female crack addict living with him for 2 yrs. I never knew - so freaking duplicitous!!
May I ask what kind of experiences other people in this forum have / have had with getting tested? This is the 3rd day that I had planned to get tested but the first 2 days I didn't understand how the system of appts work. This morning I set my alarm so that I could call for an appt as soon as they opened. I did not make the call. I tell myself that I can't figure out what to tell my mother - I'm in a caregiver situation - as to why I'm going out. Plus I have 2 non-related appts to work around. Maybe the biggest reason is that I'm having such a hard with my feelings that I'm afraid even going to get tested would send me over the edge. If I were to have something incurable like HIV/AIDS or hepatitis C, it would be way too much.
Thanks for being here, and I welcome your comments. Sending blessings to all.
Rambling I think.
My current question is about experiences with STDs and STD testing. I only found out about "my man's" addiction last week so I'm still reeling. But because he has had this secret life of crack and prostitutes - for 11 yrs!!! - my counselor and the brother of my whatever / whoever he is, recommend a full STD workup. He has also had a female crack addict living with him for 2 yrs. I never knew - so freaking duplicitous!!
May I ask what kind of experiences other people in this forum have / have had with getting tested? This is the 3rd day that I had planned to get tested but the first 2 days I didn't understand how the system of appts work. This morning I set my alarm so that I could call for an appt as soon as they opened. I did not make the call. I tell myself that I can't figure out what to tell my mother - I'm in a caregiver situation - as to why I'm going out. Plus I have 2 non-related appts to work around. Maybe the biggest reason is that I'm having such a hard with my feelings that I'm afraid even going to get tested would send me over the edge. If I were to have something incurable like HIV/AIDS or hepatitis C, it would be way too much.
Thanks for being here, and I welcome your comments. Sending blessings to all.
Rambling I think.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Here's your first post...I copied it and brought it here.
My addicted loved one is my son, so I have no experience with this, but can only imagine how awful it must me to have to worry about this. But getting tested is a very wise decision and deciding to part ways with him, even wiser.
Good luck.
My addicted loved one is my son, so I have no experience with this, but can only imagine how awful it must me to have to worry about this. But getting tested is a very wise decision and deciding to part ways with him, even wiser.
Good luck.
Hello,
I am absolutely stunned (to say the least) after learning that my best friend, partner, and lover is caught up in crack cocaine. Not only that. It turns out that there is a woman who has been living with him, who is also a "crack addict" (his words). He took her in (homeless) before we started seeing one another. I have spent a lot of time with him in his apartment - for over a yr - and have never seen any traces of another woman! Apparently she would clear out when I came over.
My "whatever he is to me now" grew up across the street from me. We played together as kids, went to school together, even the same college. He had a very responsible job for most of his adult life, and was respected among his peers and coworkers. I had not seen him for many many years until just over a yr ago, when we had both moved back to our hometown. I knew his wife had divorced him but didn't know the details.
I found out 6 days ago, due to overhearing a phone call with his dealer. When I confronted him - lovingly - he told me the truth, at least his version of the truth. He told me he's giving it up and kicking out the woman. I also discovered that he is in debt, owes $$ to his dealer, and spends time in "the hood" with them. Another thing - he has early onset Parkinson's Disease. Because it's a dopamine-depleting illness, and cocaine is a dopamine rush, I wonder if that has something to do with it. I attributed his increasing spaciness to the Parkinson's.
I am heartsick and confused. I miss him a lot - and think about him almost constantly. It was a great relationship - no joke! However, I am steering clear of him - I have a major mental health issue that I have done well with for many yrs and will not jeopardize that.
Biggest Questions: How could I have been so deceived!?? How could he do this to me? For gods sake, now I have to get a full STD work up and hope my physical health has not been compromised!
Thank you for any feedback!
I am absolutely stunned (to say the least) after learning that my best friend, partner, and lover is caught up in crack cocaine. Not only that. It turns out that there is a woman who has been living with him, who is also a "crack addict" (his words). He took her in (homeless) before we started seeing one another. I have spent a lot of time with him in his apartment - for over a yr - and have never seen any traces of another woman! Apparently she would clear out when I came over.
My "whatever he is to me now" grew up across the street from me. We played together as kids, went to school together, even the same college. He had a very responsible job for most of his adult life, and was respected among his peers and coworkers. I had not seen him for many many years until just over a yr ago, when we had both moved back to our hometown. I knew his wife had divorced him but didn't know the details.
I found out 6 days ago, due to overhearing a phone call with his dealer. When I confronted him - lovingly - he told me the truth, at least his version of the truth. He told me he's giving it up and kicking out the woman. I also discovered that he is in debt, owes $$ to his dealer, and spends time in "the hood" with them. Another thing - he has early onset Parkinson's Disease. Because it's a dopamine-depleting illness, and cocaine is a dopamine rush, I wonder if that has something to do with it. I attributed his increasing spaciness to the Parkinson's.
I am heartsick and confused. I miss him a lot - and think about him almost constantly. It was a great relationship - no joke! However, I am steering clear of him - I have a major mental health issue that I have done well with for many yrs and will not jeopardize that.
Biggest Questions: How could I have been so deceived!?? How could he do this to me? For gods sake, now I have to get a full STD work up and hope my physical health has not been compromised!
Thank you for any feedback!
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
WhoIsHe,
When my AXGF confessed to sleeping with multiple men while we were together, the first thing I did the following day was get tested for STD's. I'll admit it that back then, that was a pretty humiliating experience. But I had to do it, and fortunately the tests all came back negative.
To this day, whenever I think about all the times I was intimate with my AXGF, I want to both vomit and take a hot chemical shower to get all her filth off me.
Please, get tested.
When my AXGF confessed to sleeping with multiple men while we were together, the first thing I did the following day was get tested for STD's. I'll admit it that back then, that was a pretty humiliating experience. But I had to do it, and fortunately the tests all came back negative.
To this day, whenever I think about all the times I was intimate with my AXGF, I want to both vomit and take a hot chemical shower to get all her filth off me.
Please, get tested.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
hi Whoishe, you must be in shock, and no wonder you haven't made the appointment yet. Unfortunately the circumstances are very risky, because your rat-fink BF has been sleeping with someone who could have been involved in prostitution and, being a crack addict, is unlikely to have taken correct precautions.
But please do force yourself to get checked out. Just give the clinicians the true story. The problem with leaving it, is that some STDs can do permanent damage to you ability to conceive and bear children if left to develop. Others, like HIV and hepatitis are much more effectively treated early.
Please don't sleep with your XBF unless he has full STD tests. He has put you at risk, selfishly and carelessly.
But please do force yourself to get checked out. Just give the clinicians the true story. The problem with leaving it, is that some STDs can do permanent damage to you ability to conceive and bear children if left to develop. Others, like HIV and hepatitis are much more effectively treated early.
Please don't sleep with your XBF unless he has full STD tests. He has put you at risk, selfishly and carelessly.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
by all means, get tested NOW. do not delay. your health and very life are at stake.
since you've found out what this person is really like,what he really does, none of it good, you'd be wise to cease any involvement with him. he has nothing to offer....
since you've found out what this person is really like,what he really does, none of it good, you'd be wise to cease any involvement with him. he has nothing to offer....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
You could also just make an appointment with your own gynocologist if you are more comfortable than a clinic setting, be honest and tell him/her what has happened.
they will recommend for you the various tests you will need and refer you to any specialists.
the only thing you have to tell your mom is that you have a personal doctor's appointment either way.
and really do not have any more intimate contact with this person, he does not have your best interest in mind. He does not care for his own physical health and might have lied to you about many things including "early onset Parkinsons".
they will recommend for you the various tests you will need and refer you to any specialists.
the only thing you have to tell your mom is that you have a personal doctor's appointment either way.
and really do not have any more intimate contact with this person, he does not have your best interest in mind. He does not care for his own physical health and might have lied to you about many things including "early onset Parkinsons".
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Go to wherever feels comfortable. Your own GP?
Your GP practice may have a nurse that does all the tests.
Just explain that you were in a monogamous relationship but unfortunately he was not upfront and has a very risky history.
They will be completely sympathetic and glad to help you.
Cut ties with the bozo.
Mother won't mind you getting your "hearing checked".
Your GP practice may have a nurse that does all the tests.
Just explain that you were in a monogamous relationship but unfortunately he was not upfront and has a very risky history.
They will be completely sympathetic and glad to help you.
Cut ties with the bozo.
Mother won't mind you getting your "hearing checked".
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 223
I found out my AXBF was using after he dumped me. Later, a close mutual friend let me know he slept with somebody during the relationship and got an STD. thankfully(?) we hadn't been sleeping together for months. I wonder if that's when the drugging started but I digress. As far as I know, that's the only thing to worry about
Anyways I got tested immediately. Luckily I had alrady made my annual appointment but having to say oh by the way my recently x boyfriend is an iv drug user--can I get tested for everything?! Is pretty embarrassing to say. But no one at the doctors even batted an eye. And I'm clean. For everything. And I even got a full health panel done at the same time (since they where taking blood anywys) and my cholesterol and blood sugar levels, etc. are all good!)
I'm sorry you're going through this. It sucks. But take care of yourself first. This is a good way to start taking care of yourself first.
Anyways I got tested immediately. Luckily I had alrady made my annual appointment but having to say oh by the way my recently x boyfriend is an iv drug user--can I get tested for everything?! Is pretty embarrassing to say. But no one at the doctors even batted an eye. And I'm clean. For everything. And I even got a full health panel done at the same time (since they where taking blood anywys) and my cholesterol and blood sugar levels, etc. are all good!)
I'm sorry you're going through this. It sucks. But take care of yourself first. This is a good way to start taking care of yourself first.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 26
Thanks for the support from each of you - sooo appreciated! And Ann, thanks for copying my original post onto this forum category.
Well! I realized that I was very uncomfortable with where I was planning to get tested - too many unknown variables - so I found a good lab near my home. I committed by paying for it already (it's legit), and I printed out the form I need to take. I'm going by the lab this afternoon after an non-related appt across town.
Just for clarity, I moved back "home" to help care for my ailing mother. That's why I was trying to figure out what to "tell my mother." But the lab will be quick. I feel better! Now let's just hope I haven't contracted any disease......
I'm really sorry for what all of us on SR are going through / have gone through. What a valuable place to be able to come together like this --
Well! I realized that I was very uncomfortable with where I was planning to get tested - too many unknown variables - so I found a good lab near my home. I committed by paying for it already (it's legit), and I printed out the form I need to take. I'm going by the lab this afternoon after an non-related appt across town.
Just for clarity, I moved back "home" to help care for my ailing mother. That's why I was trying to figure out what to "tell my mother." But the lab will be quick. I feel better! Now let's just hope I haven't contracted any disease......
I'm really sorry for what all of us on SR are going through / have gone through. What a valuable place to be able to come together like this --
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 611
I would suggest going to your doctor/OB to get tested as the clinics do not do the full panel. In addition, they do not test for HSV-I or HSV-II (which is herpes) unless you are having an outbreak. You can get tested through the blood. Also, your OB-GYN can also test for HPV which the clinics do not test for as well.
I would suggest you get tested now and then again in another 6 months and then a year out. After a year, with responsible or limited sexual activity and all is negative you should be okay.
I would suggest you get tested now and then again in another 6 months and then a year out. After a year, with responsible or limited sexual activity and all is negative you should be okay.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 26
It turned out that the lab had closed by the time I was free. So I'll go tomorrow. The tests cover HIV 1, HIV 2, hepatitis a, b, and c, herpes 1 and 2, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis.
Just writing those down makes me want to sing The Star-Spangled Banner!
Why test again in 6 months and then again in a year?
Just writing those down makes me want to sing The Star-Spangled Banner!
Why test again in 6 months and then again in a year?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 26
I have a question: I'd you get exposed to an STD and your partner is infected, do you get it right away? Also, if you haven't been with the infected one for about a month, would everything you get have showed up by then?
~Only Time Will Tell~
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Canadaland
Posts: 12
YES go get tested!!! I was seeing someone then found out about a month ago that he was still sleeping around with the previous girl b4 me. I got tested last week and dr called me this morning because I tested positive for chlamydia. Thank god its treatable. Always always make them wear a condom you never know what a person is doing behind your back and I have learned this the hard way 
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 67
This topic hits home for me as I am coming up on 6 months since I took the first hiv test...I should go for a follow up test this week.....absolutely terrifying experience. It's so unfair to have to do this.
But I wanted to add - for the future or for others - that planned parenthood does these tests on a walk in basis for little/no cost as opposed to quest
Additionally I got something called a "rapid hiv test" from an LGBTQ clinic/support center in my neighborhood that literally took one minute to get results. It was free.
But I wanted to add - for the future or for others - that planned parenthood does these tests on a walk in basis for little/no cost as opposed to quest
Additionally I got something called a "rapid hiv test" from an LGBTQ clinic/support center in my neighborhood that literally took one minute to get results. It was free.
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