Scary quiet time
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Today, I am willing to work through my sadness and guilt. I will let myself be healthy and happy, even though someone I love has not chosen the same path.
Amy, as you know my son has been missing, lost in his addiction for over 10 years. Something important that I learned is that he will make his own choices, however bad or good, when the time is right for him.
Living my life in sadness and fear will not change one day of his, it will just make me as sick as he is. I can choose to live in the darkness of his addiction or live in the light of my recovery.
Today I choose to live in the light and I pray and give my son's care to God.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 341
Now that my son is homeless it has pulled at every fiber in my heart when I don't know how he is. I was meeting him nightly,which wasn't the best,cuz he always hated leaving to sleep in the streets or walk all night. There has been tremendous comfort in knowing where and how he is/was. That may change now, because I can't stand in the way of his bottom. I know how hard it is with heroin...there's always that dreaded fear. But, we must learn how to Let Go with love and Let God. I am working on that. My younger nonAS has suffered from his brother's addiction, but has managed to no follow him and stay strong and focused on his goals. I know I must give him the attention and support he needs without all the focus on his brother. I think going away with your non AD is a fabulous idea! Something you both need. All we can do is pray and Let Go, Let Grow, and Let God as much as we would like to control the outcome. God Bless.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Exton pa
Posts: 153
Thank you to all of you here at SR.....when you guys want to track your progress, read back words and check it out..... I have come a lot further than I had thought! My nonAddicted daughter is taking a break from college this semester and she and I are traveling through Europe for a month to clear our heads and get a sense of life again through the eyes of people that finally get it - take care of yourself and keep living. We are very excited to do this and my wonderful husband is most supportive. Letting it all go finally and embracing enough is enough - 10 hard years of this nonsense and no more will we take or be dragged into then dragged down. SR made this possible for me to see. I've read ALL the books you guys mention and a lot of literature I have found - lots of different approaches and words of wisdom BUT the absolute COMMON thread is " avoid the addict, don't pay for them, it's not your fault, you can't cure it AND most important prioritize you". So for any newbie, that's the Readers Digest version! Love and prayers to all.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 261
I can only send out my condolences. You did the right thing, that I am sure in the depths of your soul you are aware of. It is so hard to emotionally detach from an addict when you want nothing but the best for them long enough to send them on their own path. You are strong for doing so.
So, I am sorry for the turn of events with your daughter and how it has effected you. I wish you fast healing from this experience and I hope your daughter is put in a place where she can find the means to rise above her addiction. God bless you and keep you at peace.
So, I am sorry for the turn of events with your daughter and how it has effected you. I wish you fast healing from this experience and I hope your daughter is put in a place where she can find the means to rise above her addiction. God bless you and keep you at peace.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 39
So sad Amysad that you have had to endure so much because of your daughter's addiction. I admire your strong, unmoving resolve. I hope to get strong enough eventually to be able to resist my daughter's boyfriend's manipulations as you are now, your daughter's. I think it's fantastic that you are doing something so healthy and cathartic with your grief, going away with your non addictive daughter. I am sure she is going to enjoy some much awaited, undivided attention from you. Have a wonderful time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Exton pa
Posts: 153
Thank you Brees.......I watched a show last night on Television and this County Commissioner who was addressing the PA State legisture said its time that those of us that enable the adddict understand that we have to stop "loving them to death". It made me get chills up and down my spine because for so many years that is what I was doing "loving her to death" by enabling her and being blinded by the manipulation and thinking she was doing better and finally healthy!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 74
Originally Posted by Amysad 
I have gotten a lot of good feedback - have decided to leave area for awhile and chill with nonAD daughter who has been hurt by all this just like me. We are going to do a mom n daughter trip and try and heal and forget and move forward - thanks to all of you that write me - I hope someday I can be helpful to someone instead of just taking advice and feeling so lost - every day is still same ole same ole- I don't feel like it's getting better but I am looking forward to going away. Just so damn sad angry and embarrassed way life has turned out.....
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