TimeHeals831

So it's been about 6 months since my last post, to sum things up, my girlfriend went to jail for about 10 days and got out and has been clean since. She is still awaiting court and it has been difficult but it's been great having her clean. A few days ago she smoked pot again and that's usually how the ball starts rolling and leads her to using heroin. I'm just very distraught about everything and I know things have been very difficult for her with court and her health issues. I guess it's just very hard for me to understand that it's just a whole different side of her brain that gets the bright idea of doing these things and acting out. I know she's not doing it to hurt me, but it's because she doesn't know how else to deal. Not that it's an excuse. I guess I just need to know I'm not alone.. Ugh.

Ann

I'm sorry she is using pot, a drug is a drug and sadly she may not be quite finished yet.

You're not alone, most of us have watched the recovery/relapse revolving door of addiction until we are dizzy. There comes a time when we have to decide how long we can live in the darkness with them. Doing that does nothing to help them, but it pulls us down too and it's a bad place to be.

I hope things get better for both of you soon. Please take care of yourself because her "soon" may take a while, if at all.

Hugs

TimeHeals831

I know. This is all just very hard. Seeing her get 6 months clean was amazing and I was so happy for her. And we are also very codependent on each other.. I'm just kinda lost as of right now.

zoso77

So are you interested in changing this, or is the status quo acceptable?

heartbrokenK

It's so hard and frustrating. My question is what are you doing for you? Sadly you have no control over her using.

TimeHeals831

Yeah that's what I'm coming to try and realize. I'm not looking to leave her, I guess I'm just looking for support and how to cope.

heartbrokenK

Ya I'm the queen of get out come back. I'm just not ready to give up on my marriage. Do u go to alanon?

TimeHeals831

I've never been to an actual meeting, I have done the online meetings on In The Rooms. I guess I should start doing that again.