Making daughter pay rent

Old 08-05-2014, 12:25 PM
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Making daughter pay rent

I have a somewhat silly question. We always had a rule that my daughter pays rent when she turns 21. Not much but maybe 50 a week. I firmly believe that everyone has to pull their weight in the house.
So now at the age of 21 we find out that she has an Heroin addiction. She's working with me to get help. She knows she needs it and wants it.

Do I put this added pressure on her? Or could this added pressure be good for her? What do you think?
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Old 08-05-2014, 12:33 PM
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I wanted my daughter to pay rent as well but changed my mind after seeing the cost for a suboxone doctor and the prescription. She was on our policy at the time but BCBS did not cover the meds, though we have prescription insurance. I let go of the rent idea but insisted she own her addiction and recovery, by paying for the doctor and meds.

It worked out really well for all of us. It compelled her to work more and FINALLY learn how to manage money. It was a slow process and took a few years, but she's doing really well and living on her own. Still recovering, one day at a time.
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Old 08-05-2014, 12:39 PM
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I like that idea.
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Old 08-05-2014, 02:21 PM
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I like that idea as well.
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Old 08-05-2014, 02:53 PM
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Amberlily- I don't want to be a stickler but if your AD says she needs help and wants it why would she be staying with you? I wish I had found SR before I made so many mistakes but frankly one of the things I have learned here is if they are addicted we can't allow that to become our life too so they should not live with us. BUT maybe I'm missing something. Prayers to you
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Old 08-05-2014, 04:54 PM
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Honestly I don't have a problem with her being here. For Now. She has her own car and car insurance. Her cell phone is in her name. I don't give her money for clothes or gas. In fact, I really haven't given her money in years. Nothing has been stolen and besides for the typical female attitude she hasn't been disrespectful to us.
The minute our life becomes effected then she will be told to leave.
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Old 08-05-2014, 05:12 PM
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I think this is a good example of how different situations can lead to different decisions and outcomes. Amber, you sound like you've drawn really good, clear boundaries with your AD. I WISH that our AS' behavior would permit us to permit HIM in our home. Sadly, that's no longer true, but maybe it will be again someday.

Jane
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