Advice for me. Teen son addicted to xanax and hydrocodone
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Welcome to SR, njw1968. This a fantastic forum. lots of sharing and caring here.
I have not been through Your situation personally, but others here have.
Have you read the stickies here, about addiction and addict behavior? it might help you a lot, to read real life situations, and how they dealt with them.
stick around. breathe, and try to rest. He is in rehab , and you at least know that he is not on the streets tonight.
take care of yourself, you have a lot to think of , but try to rest when you can.
I have not been through Your situation personally, but others here have.
Have you read the stickies here, about addiction and addict behavior? it might help you a lot, to read real life situations, and how they dealt with them.
stick around. breathe, and try to rest. He is in rehab , and you at least know that he is not on the streets tonight.
take care of yourself, you have a lot to think of , but try to rest when you can.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 550
I can't help on your sons exact addiction but I have a child addicted to H. I also have an addiction to alcohol myself. But let me tell you parent to parent I'd do WHATEVER it took to get my child back, the real loving girl I see but nobody else does, I'd stop my life in its tracks and never ever drink again. But at this time, they aren't willing to make that commitment.
Hold your ground but don't give up on them. Do you have other children in your home? You don't want them exposed to this behavior.
At the same time, set rules and bounderies. Go with your gut, if you feel like he's using but he's telling you he's not you are probably right.
Just know it's not you, it's his decision. He won't stop till he has his wake up moment. I know as a parent we want to protect our child no matter what but we can't do anything for then that they can't do for themselves. I'd suggest alanon. Have you tried that?
Hold your ground but don't give up on them. Do you have other children in your home? You don't want them exposed to this behavior.
At the same time, set rules and bounderies. Go with your gut, if you feel like he's using but he's telling you he's not you are probably right.
Just know it's not you, it's his decision. He won't stop till he has his wake up moment. I know as a parent we want to protect our child no matter what but we can't do anything for then that they can't do for themselves. I'd suggest alanon. Have you tried that?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 74
Yes I have a 16 year old daughter also. It's been bad. I can't keep her from it. Try to. I need to look into going to meetings with alonon. He needs to get involved in positive activities because all of his friends do a lot of the same stuff. Trying to get him to work out three times a week with us. He had such low self esteem and it breaks my heart. Surprised I'm not an alcoholic.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hi njw, I am the mother of an adult addict son who has been in and out of the revolving doors of recovery for many many years.
What helped me, what literally saved my sanity and my life was Al-anon and CoDA, I went to both and learned how to find my balance and keep it...no matter how my son was doing. Before I went I was lost in my own darkness of fear and sadness and depression after trying for years and years to save him.
Your son is young, in his teens but I am not sure how old he would be. If he is underage you may be able to control some of what he does or does not do. And you may be able to encourage him to go to his own meetings to find help, or counseling, or a day program or rehab. Your other daughter may find help in Alateen. It is good that you are keeping an open dialogue with her. It must be hard for her to watch her brother using drugs.
We normally suggest "letting go" and letting them find their own way because they reach an age where we cannot and should not do for them what they can do for themselves. But your son may save himself years and years of destroying his life if he is willing to get help to stop using today.
I know how heart breaking this is and I send you hugs from my heart to yours.
What helped me, what literally saved my sanity and my life was Al-anon and CoDA, I went to both and learned how to find my balance and keep it...no matter how my son was doing. Before I went I was lost in my own darkness of fear and sadness and depression after trying for years and years to save him.
Your son is young, in his teens but I am not sure how old he would be. If he is underage you may be able to control some of what he does or does not do. And you may be able to encourage him to go to his own meetings to find help, or counseling, or a day program or rehab. Your other daughter may find help in Alateen. It is good that you are keeping an open dialogue with her. It must be hard for her to watch her brother using drugs.
We normally suggest "letting go" and letting them find their own way because they reach an age where we cannot and should not do for them what they can do for themselves. But your son may save himself years and years of destroying his life if he is willing to get help to stop using today.
I know how heart breaking this is and I send you hugs from my heart to yours.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 74
Thank you so much! Brought me to tears. So comforting to know I'm not alone. I'm going to look at alnon. I think they have groups for family members. It's tearing me apart to see him do this and I blame myself because of my divorce from his dad was my fault It all happened when Jacob was at a very crucial age and he saw and heard too much. Bless you.
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