I miss my Hubby
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I miss my Hubby
Hi All: ardy from milwaukee here.. Ed and I have been married 21 years, together 22.. he has been on morphine for the last 7 years because of pain from several surgeries.. when they took him for the oxy and codi to the morphine.. I wept.. for I knew things would not get better.. yes I know that he lies puts his needs first above all.. when food shopping I always have a few extra dollars to buy what he has to have soda chips candy. he will be 60 this fall and still shops as a child...if you buy 48 cans of soda in 2 weeks they are gone.. I put only 5 dollars in gas in the car each day to go to work and come home from work.. he has to have enough in the car to come and get me at 4.. it is 15 miles from home.. and yes with no buses I have walked home.. Iam 64.... sorry .. but this is the only place to try and empty some of my heart and soul.. fears.. I worked in Child Protection for 9 years .. at the front desk and as a ride along for law enforcement when needed.. know how to watch his behavior like you would watch a wild animal that you have feed before. they will turn on you at the wrong moment...I miss my Hubby from 1992 to 2006 so much.. wish with all my heart he would come back.. but it is just a wish.. for I can not make it happen and can only care for the sick child and watch the wild animal carefully.. me.. I know one day in a flash of a breath.. things will change.. hopiing always for the better .. but have steeled my back for the worse.. prayers and love to you all and thank you for allowing me to weep here ... ardy..
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Hugs Ardy. Keep posting, maybe you will get something here that can make your life better.
there have been many here who felt hopeless. it can be better. he could get help. you could insist. maybe it would work. but we can be here for you, regardless.
what have you done for yourself today? You matter.
there have been many here who felt hopeless. it can be better. he could get help. you could insist. maybe it would work. but we can be here for you, regardless.
what have you done for yourself today? You matter.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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Long Weekend seems when it rains it pours.. my Daughter and her hubby of 20 years Divorced last year..and they came to Christmas like nothing happened.. she told my Mom on Friday this last week as their house in Wheaton sold on Thrusday.. Sat would have been their 20th anniversary... Melanie called me Sunday we sobbed for several hours.. her company in computer design is deploying her to London England for a year.. in just the next 5 weeks she will be gone.. Ed has been a champ about now its all about Ardy and her Daughter.. He loves my Adult kids.. know that her life going upside down was almost to much for him.. his tummy kicked him hard at 1:00am.. so what have I done for me.. hahaha cried alot slept like I was dead.. dug in my garden the little tea rosee bush Melanie and Aaron gave me 3 years ago has 10 small yellow roses on it this morning.. cleaned my 9 bedroom home from top to bottom hahhahah my friends Carol and Mike came for drinks on Sat evening with the dogs and Benny pooped in the library Baliey threw up in the dinning room and little Buddy peped in the living room ... hahahaha our cat Shadow gave them all such a look.. at 4 feet from each barking like crazy she just sat there and gave them such a look.. hahhahha ah it cleans up.. pets are pets ..and friends are the best... love and prayers to you all this Monday July 21. who's up for another good 24 hours Hand waving in the air. me me me..
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hi all August the 26 2014 9:16am.. have had problems iwth hubby for the last few days.. and nights.. house temp is set at a chilly 65 with fan and ceiling fan run on us all night.. his body temp is up.. not eating again.. the mountain dew red is all he will touch.. know the cold inside and cold outside of him has got be driving his system nuts.. I don't believe he eats when Iam at work... unless its candy.. the cats are watching him all day and try to sleep with me at night under the covers.. tv plays the Simpsons all night in the bed room... he is having dry heavs and bathroom problems.. I know its the morphine.. back to his 3 pills a day.. time release... I am watching him go backwards and the system is shutting down more often... Know that there is only recording of the events when Iam there to help in the end.. of his time.. his anger over the weekend was unreal...
just one question God if you made Man in your image why did you let him do this terrible thing to himself Why???
sorry all this is the only safe place I have for this writing and on the computer at work.. for he reads everything I do on my computer at home...
back to egg shells like when I was a kid... love my hubby Eddie Lee so much.. found him and wanted to share what life I had as a clown and entertainer with him... miss the days of years gone by.. come home from work make dinner the best sexx in the world watch a tv program soft music and sleep in each others arms...
they say everything has to change.. no one said it has to get worse all the time .. thanks all ardy...
just one question God if you made Man in your image why did you let him do this terrible thing to himself Why???
sorry all this is the only safe place I have for this writing and on the computer at work.. for he reads everything I do on my computer at home...
back to egg shells like when I was a kid... love my hubby Eddie Lee so much.. found him and wanted to share what life I had as a clown and entertainer with him... miss the days of years gone by.. come home from work make dinner the best sexx in the world watch a tv program soft music and sleep in each others arms...
they say everything has to change.. no one said it has to get worse all the time .. thanks all ardy...
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just one question God if you made Man in your image why did you let him do this terrible thing to himself
Here's a question: do you think God put you on this earth to stay coupled to a person on a path to ruin?
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Hi Zoso77, in the past 5 years have tossed that in and out of my head so much.. leave him stay.. go stay.. run where??? go home to my Mom.. Iam 64 Iam the Mom.. Did God put us together to have this happen.. I don't know.. just know that when I went thro Cancer and recovery.. he was there very day.. when I had back surgery he was there all night when I was in pain for bad..
God said I make you a partner for life. to share in the good and the bad.. I have had just one other husband and several great lovers.. my first did not know how to be a husband or a father. and missed so much. and then beat me and the kids I had him removed.. my Kids are great adults. so proud of them.. they know of this morphine problem with Ed and the surgeries that he has had.. I keep telling myself he will get better for that is how life is to work.. I know Iam a big dumb sap.. but then Little girls were taught you work hard take care of your families and your Hubby will love you forever and things wil lbe lovely.. not true I know that ... but sometimes as Jerry Lewis says in a movie sometimes all we have is Pretend... so I just keep trying and pretending and recording and hoping he wil lbe a tiny bit better just for a minute let me see the face of the man I love so much. sorry all.. ardy
God said I make you a partner for life. to share in the good and the bad.. I have had just one other husband and several great lovers.. my first did not know how to be a husband or a father. and missed so much. and then beat me and the kids I had him removed.. my Kids are great adults. so proud of them.. they know of this morphine problem with Ed and the surgeries that he has had.. I keep telling myself he will get better for that is how life is to work.. I know Iam a big dumb sap.. but then Little girls were taught you work hard take care of your families and your Hubby will love you forever and things wil lbe lovely.. not true I know that ... but sometimes as Jerry Lewis says in a movie sometimes all we have is Pretend... so I just keep trying and pretending and recording and hoping he wil lbe a tiny bit better just for a minute let me see the face of the man I love so much. sorry all.. ardy
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Ardy...
There comes a time when the significant other of a addicted loved one is confronted with a choice. And it's a choice that is horribly unfair. The thought of leaving your husband is awful. But if you stay, what sort of price do you pay?
You can't love him out of it. There is literally nothing you can do to help him at this point. Nothing. And if you choose to stay, be mindful that if you think things are bad now, things will be worse later. Much worse.
As for what God wants or doesn't want, here's what I think. When you married your husband, the implicit agreement was not simply you stick together through sickness and health. It was you also look after yourself so that you can look out for each other. And someone in the throes of opiate addiction is incapable of that. The only thing your husband cares about right now is being under the influence of opiates. Nothing else matters. So in that regard, he's bailed on your marriage. He has reneged on the promise you made to each other. He's not playing by the same rules you are. So I think God would understand if you chose to take care of yourself.
Anyways, my $0.02.
so I just keep trying and pretending and recording and hoping he wil lbe a tiny bit better just for a minute let me see the face of the man I love so much. sorry all..
You can't love him out of it. There is literally nothing you can do to help him at this point. Nothing. And if you choose to stay, be mindful that if you think things are bad now, things will be worse later. Much worse.
As for what God wants or doesn't want, here's what I think. When you married your husband, the implicit agreement was not simply you stick together through sickness and health. It was you also look after yourself so that you can look out for each other. And someone in the throes of opiate addiction is incapable of that. The only thing your husband cares about right now is being under the influence of opiates. Nothing else matters. So in that regard, he's bailed on your marriage. He has reneged on the promise you made to each other. He's not playing by the same rules you are. So I think God would understand if you chose to take care of yourself.
Anyways, my $0.02.
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Originally Posted by zoso77 
Ardy...
There comes a time when the significant other of a addicted loved one is confronted with a choice. And it's a choice that is horribly unfair. The thought of leaving your husband is awful. But if you stay, what sort of price do you pay?
You can't love him out of it. There is literally nothing you can do to help him at this point. Nothing. And if you choose to stay, be mindful that if you think things are bad now, things will be worse later. Much worse.
As for what God wants or doesn't want, here's what I think. When you married your husband, the implicit agreement was not simply you stick together through sickness and health. It was you also look after yourself so that you can look out for each other. And someone in the throes of opiate addiction is incapable of that. The only thing your husband cares about right now is being under the influence of opiates. Nothing else matters. So in that regard, he's bailed on your marriage. He has reneged on the promise you made to each other. He's not playing by the same rules you are. So I think God would understand if you chose to take care of yourself.
Anyways, my $0.02.
There comes a time when the significant other of a addicted loved one is confronted with a choice. And it's a choice that is horribly unfair. The thought of leaving your husband is awful. But if you stay, what sort of price do you pay?
You can't love him out of it. There is literally nothing you can do to help him at this point. Nothing. And if you choose to stay, be mindful that if you think things are bad now, things will be worse later. Much worse.
As for what God wants or doesn't want, here's what I think. When you married your husband, the implicit agreement was not simply you stick together through sickness and health. It was you also look after yourself so that you can look out for each other. And someone in the throes of opiate addiction is incapable of that. The only thing your husband cares about right now is being under the influence of opiates. Nothing else matters. So in that regard, he's bailed on your marriage. He has reneged on the promise you made to each other. He's not playing by the same rules you are. So I think God would understand if you chose to take care of yourself.
Anyways, my $0.02.
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