szavo

A very close family member has just found out that her husband has been using oxy very heavily for 7 months, they are newly married, expecting a child soon and until now had this wonderful fairytale relationship. She has no idea how to handle this and confided in me because I had a painkiller addiction for years and have been clean for almost 3. He has been withdrawing over the past weekend and swears that it is over. If this information gets out he will destroy his very lucrative career. She feels she can never trust him again and is considering leaving.

Ksgirl

I am so sorry for what has brought you here, but glad you found us. Those with lots of experience will certainly post soon. Every situation is different so everyone's advice may be also. I had an addict husband..I just couldn't do it anymore. That does not mean it would be the same for your family member. God Bless.

hopeful4

I would say it depends on how serious he is about quitting. For him to quit cold turkey will be very hard. He is going to need ongoing support to get through when his body wants more, and it will. Detox is very different than recovery. It is support she cannot give, so is he willing to get it elsewhere? If not the likelihood of relapse is very very high.

I would encourage them both to seek counseling to see if this is something they can get past.

Good luck to them and congrats to you on overcoming your own addiction. That is wonderful!

zoso77

Hey...first of all, congratulations on having 3 years of recovery. I hope things are going well for you.

As far as your family member goes, I'd be very careful with the counsel you provide. As you're well aware, her AH will stop if and only if he's ready to do the work that you've done. Statements like I've highlighted in bold print mean nothing unless followed up by a course of action.

So, my advice? I would only go as far as encouraging her to educate herself about addiction and to make her decisions based on what she knows to be true. And then stay out of the way.

Txhelp

When I caught my husband using (relapse)...I kicked him out. I told him that I needed to SEE him do something. Notice, I didn't tell him what to do. It wasn't his first parade. I didn't want words. He is doing well now.

I agree with Zoso and Hopeful....

It does some damage to a relationship but it can be build back...once in recovery.