Vale

I'm glad.

Firefall

Hopeful4, Thank you for stopping by, sorry it took so long to register, gotta love the duck no matter what he's wearing!

needingabreak

Fiefall just wanted to say Ive been praying for you and glad to see you are getting more help. You are right about SR. Never found a better group of caring people...................gotta watch out for thay Vale dude though

Firefall

Z thanks for the time the straight talk spiced with just the right amount of compassion and all the time you made yourself available.

Coupled with Vale's touching analogy, I am loving life today and feeling strong even though chaos is being sent special delivery.

Blessings

Vale

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Awwwww, he's not SOOOOO bad
(in small doses!)

Firefall

Thank you,
as for the duck... he's tough but what a heart!
When you have sooo much responsibility for so long, and you have to be courageous so often, people think you are tough. They think because you are the alpha wolf, you don't need anyone or anything except agreement.
The duck will snap it's beak and the wolf will be moved.

Vale

....or the wolf will get hungry-----then no more duck!

Vale. Good with words. Better with Hollandaise sauce!

caboblanco

so a clean slate then....

Vale

Touche!

Vale

-30-

needingabreak

You are hysterical. Thanks for the laugh. Hope it brightened your day too.

Firefall

Not a wolf but close cousin

Firefall

I chose the wolf as my avatar because the alpha wolves have such integrity to the pack. The are bound by rules, boundaries, limitations, affection and defend each and every pack member even at the risk of their own lives. all they demand is the respect they have earned, otherwise they will drive the offending member from the pack in order to keep the pack strong.
Pretty much, I have not gotten that last part honed yet.

I have made some changes, advised the teen grandniece she will have to leave when she turns 18 in October.

Working with a broker to get ready to sell my home. That's a hard one, been here 26 years. The only home I have really had. Not just the building, the life that was lived here. But it is the only way my hubby and I can get to a sound financial ground again. The good thing is downsizing means we can get back to the ocean.

RAA BPD Sister is going to be harder for me. I know what is to be done, don't want her destroying the sanity I need to maintain balance. But there is something tugging at me that causes me to hold back. I am trying to figure it out.

I am not without hope today, I feel stronger since starting this post. Many SR supporters and one on one from two SR members whose experiences resonated with me.

Challenge today is holding my frustration in check. In a battle of wits my RAA sister is unarmed, so her strategy is to always attack. The wolf catches scent of prey in the air. I try to avoid the hunt.

Firefall

Ahh hah, another piece of the puzzle. As I was responding to another member's post, realized that other than my immediate family, have allowed myself to become cut off from friends.

Wow!!

Firefall

Wondering what is wrong with me. I have almost no compassion for my RAA sister. Then learned something about compassion.
What is the primary emotion which triggers compassion?
A. LOVE
B. TRUST
C. SADNESS
D. AMBIVALENCE

Although you might make a case for love or even sadness, trust is essential for feelings of compassion.

When trust is destroyed because someone is being deceptive or behaving unfairly, your brain switches from compassion to punishment mode to protect balance in your social group.

...H2 Your Brain

Firefall

I have begun to break it down to one thing. TRUST!

It doesn't matter how much you love or care for another person, how much you want their lives to be full of good. If you can't trust them, the relationship cannot succeed. What living with someone you can't trust does is devastating and soul killing.

As I move around the boards, seeing what friends and family members are dealing with there seems to be some continuous streams off events and issues that I am reducing down..
What can I do?
If only I?
They were doing good, then I took them back.
They say it is my fault.
What am I missing?

What is missing on the non side is trust. Addiction turns that person into something else. They become the drug of choice. Each substance seems to have it's own personality. How can we trust that?

It calls to them like the sirens of the sea every day. Do we really believe we can battle that? We live in a shifting paradigm yet continue to try what worked yesterday.
Some days the siren call is faint and we see our loved one surface momentarily. The joy we feel is fleeting, and even trust in ourselves also is assaulted and brokenness fills the air.

This may sound so down, but for me, it is the way to acceptance of my being powerless drugs or alcohol. Any thoughts are welcome.

Vale

I think you hit the nail on the head, Firefall.

I love the quote: "Nothing binds us like a promise kept,
nothing divides us like a promise broken."

(Author unknown)

Firefall

I love it too Vale, it is going on post its around the house to remind me.

Thank you.

needingabreak

It ducks to lose trust and is so very hurtful and heartbreaking. Hard to accept for many. It's,easier to blame ourselves, circumstances, the drug than accept it is what it is from those we love most. Hugs Firefall.

Firefall

Thanks needingabreak for stopping by.

A board member who encourages so many told me in confidence to do what I do best. Logic, Gather data, analyze it and build a system that works.

This was the single best info that helped me get out of my pit. I had something to do! As I use my logic and not my emotions my world comes into clearer view.

The duck reminds me that we are social creatures, that need to get attention and give it back. Have had a few difficult days since starting this post, but the mind is moving forward again. Thanks to them and ALL of YOU.

Vale

Thank You too, Firefall.

(We are all in this together)