Sadie33

My AH has relapsed, after 3 months sober. His doc is hydros/oxy. His addiction seems to be getting worse. I'm trying to focus on myself, but I'm just having a really hard time. In my head I know I can't control his addiction, but that doesn't make it easier to deal with. I'm just feeling frustrated, sad and angry, and needed a place to vent.

AnvilheadII

vent away and welcome! relapses are tough on everybody, and they simply destroy hope and trust.

Sadie33

Yes, it absolutely destroys trust! His ability to lie never ceases to amaze me. The only reason he told me he was using is because he needed money for more drugs. He says he's going to his group therapy at a local outpatient treatment facility but I don't believe him. Is it common for people in therapy to still use while they're going?? And while he admits he's using and wants to get better, he's still making comments that I'm to blame or the location of where we live is too easy for him to get drugs. I just want him to own up, take responsibility and get better!!

bellanoviella

I am not sure if it's common for people in outpatient treatment facilities to still use, but my boyfriend (4 days clean - woo!) would go to his NA meetings high quite frequently. I know it's not the same thing, so I'm sorry I don't have an answer for your particular question. I do understand the need to vent.. I joined this site with only that in mind. My heroin addicted boyfriend relapsed after being clean for a year and a half, he's had about 4 attempts at getting clean since then, the most recent being Saturday morning being day 1, so we will see how it goes. Have you tried Nar Anon or Al Anon meetings? I've recently started going, and it is helping at least take my mind of off him 24/7 so I can get back to focusing on myself.

Be well & take care of yourself!

hopeful4

When my X went to rehab it was for alcohol addiction. He said it was good he was not a drug addict b/c that seemed to be the place to be to hook up with the best drugs. Horrible, just horrible.

Sadie33

I haven't gone to any meetings. This forum is really my step 1. I'm so far from where I want to be emotionally. I'm hoping this will help me focus on myself. AH addiction has consumed so much of my life. I know I support him in ways that aren't healthy for either of us but in all honesty I don't know how to stop.

bellanoviella

I can't stress the meetings enough. It's really helped me so much.

crazybabie

Sadie, there is a book called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, most libraries carry it maybe you could pick that up and read while you work up the courage for meetings