someoneswife

I haven't posted on here in a while. Unfortunately my husband hasn't done well since coming home from rehab last year. I let my recovery completely come to a stand still. I quit going to meetings, quit responding to my sponsor and starting hiding his addiction again. I didn't have any evidence he was using just a feeling. Well that feeling has been confirmed in this past week and my daughter and I have moved out. I'm sad I let myself get sick again right there with him. I'm trying really hard to focus on the positive. I want him to be well, it breaks my heart to watch him struggle but I'm making myself crazy with all my codependent behaviors. So I need to focus on me. Let him focus on him. I never knew leaving would be this hard. I haven't told many people besides family. So I just needed to put it out there.

Ann

I'm sorry you are going through such a sad time. Sadly, this is how addiction unfolds much of the time and nothing you do or do not do will change that part.

It's okay to slide, just don't beat yourself up over it. Try going back to meetings again, a little wiser for the journey. You will be okay, I promise you that, but surrounding yourself with support while you heal and find your balance again is a positive way to find a better path for yourself and your daughter.

Hugs

hopeful4

I am sorry you are struggling, however good for you to break free from the codependency and realize you need to focus on you.

One thing I know is that Alanon, Celebrate Recovery, wherever you choose, they welcome you back with open arms. They have been there, they understand. So...go back! Get yourself the support you need for you and your daughter. Counseling is also a wonderful tool for everyone involved.

Hugs!

chicory

I'm sorry that your husbands recovery wasn't lasting. Perhaps he will get there.

Don't be hard on yourself,though. You are moving forward, through the pain, which is very brave and you will come out on the other side, in a better place.

Honestly, he will either make it with or without you, you know? You staying won't make it happen, and leaving will give him the message he needs to hear from you.

Your meetings will help you on your journey, should you need it.

I wish you and your dear daughter the very best. Good for you, in choosing a better life for the both of you.

Sadie33

I'm so sorry, you are going thru this. But I think you are so brave and show such strength by moving on and focusing on you and your daughter.

someoneswife

Thanks everyone for the supportive replies. Knowing I'm not alone is always the biggest relief when I'm faced with this kind of thing.